Did everyday have to be like this? Did we have to go through the same silly routine every single time I came over to his place? Poland never gave me a break, but honestly I couldn't think of any other way I'd want to spend my time. I knew for a long time that there may have been something between me and him, but I was too afraid to confront it. I couldn't stand to lose my best friend over a simple emotion. I know that It's weird, to love your best friend when both of you are men but I don't really care. I just won't tell him, it's that simple really.
"Leit! Are you even, like, listening to me!?" Poland's voice shook me from my thoughts and I smiled.
"Of course I am." Maybe it was a lie but it still made his eyes light up and his rambling continue. I don't know what he's talking about, maybe how he wants to paint his house pink again or something like that. Pink is his favorite color after all. Out of nowhere he took my hand in his, but I didn't pull it away. I smiled and squeezed his back just slightly. I craved his attention more than anything but I wouldn't tell him that. How awkward would that be? Just coming out and saying "Hey Poland I really kind of like you and I want all your attention to be focused on me!" How…..weird… would that be….
"Toris, do you, like, mean that?" Did I….Really say that out loud? Oh crap….What do I say now? What do I do? He had stopped walking down the snow covered path and was just staring at me. Our hands were still intertwined so that's a good sign right?
"Yes…" I squeaked. He still just stared at me, his cute mouth propped open just a little and his big, green eyes wide and questioning. I sighed. Should I take the small ounce of a chance I have to do the one thing that could make or break our relationship? Should I try to convince him that I am telling the truth?
"Leit… I like totally didn't know you felt that way too…." Of course it shocked him so much that he- wait did he say 'too'?
"F-Felix, did you say too?" He just smiled at me, his pretty lips curving perfectly like they always do. Is face was so bright right now, did this mean that he really liked me too? I am afraid to blink because this moment could disappear everything will go away. He stared at me and I could swear he is getting closer to me, and closer, and- Our lips seemed to instantly lock together and move. I kept our hands together while with the other hand I pulled him closer to me. I don't want this moment to end; I want to keep him close to me for as long as I can.
"Nng..Toris." He mumbled against my lips, allowing me just enough access to put my tongue into his mouth and claim another part of him as my own. His unused hand rested against my chest, and I am certain he could feel my rapidly beating heart. By now I needed air and I'm sure he does too. I push him away to arms' length and stare directly into his emerald eyes.
"Felix I love you!" It was almost a shout, but I had to get it out before I exploded. He just smiled and gave me a chaste kiss.
"I, like, love you too Toris!" That was all I could take before I kissed him deeply in the middle of the street. I bet we were a sight to see, two men locked in an embrace kissing like our lives depended on it. And in reality mine did. If I couldn't have Poland I think I would have just died. Nothing could make me happier than I am at this very moment.
I lied to myself, not telling his wasn't better. Telling him means that I will continue to get loving kisses for as long as I live. And I think I'm ok with that.