Cool salty winds blew across the rugged cliff face. The smell of the season's fish rolled in, covering the New England town in its scent. The sun began to creep over the horizon, bathing the rock face and the mossy statue beneath it in its glow. A boy sat on the top of the cliff, looking out onto the calm water. He breathed in the crisp fresh air and smiled. Below him, dozens of people swam about in the cool, brisk water. It was truly a perfect day. He sat his Pop-Tarts down, next to his bucket. A horn rested on his lap.

He checked his watch. 7:30 AM. Better not let it get too late. He thought. He picked up his horn and stood, blowing a mighty, gallant little tune.

"May the odds, be ever in your favor." He said, kicking the bucket off. A slosh of blood spilled out, falling into the water.

The boy sat down, eating his PopTarts, as several shark fins starting coming in from the distance minutes later.

"Good morning Beach City." He said as the screams of dozens of people pierced into the air. "Mmmmm. Strawberry."

RETURN OF CINNABRIGED

A STEVEN UNIVERSE STORY

"When is gonna be finished, Ms. Connie?"

One of the boys looked up at her with wide-eyed anticipation.

"It'll be finished when it's finished." She replied, rolling her eyes. "Your parents aren't paying me by the hour for this anyway, so let me get this over with."

Sparks and whirs filled the air, surrounding a makeshift workstation. A large metal hull laid on the sand, with two figures working around it. The shorter green one wore a welding mask and was sealing part of the roof closed. Connie was using a magic marker to draw out an outline. The green one stopped the welding torch and paused. She lifted her mask and barked out a call. "Done with the roof, Connie!"

"Good, just let me get the door." Connie finished the outline, reaching for the power saw.

"Hey you two." Pearl walked up to them. "How's the treehouse business coming along."

"It's coming," Peridot replied. "I'm gonna take a short rest while Connie makes the door."

"Yo Pearl, check this out." Connie winked and gave the power saw a kiss before firing it up. The eager, rabid hum of the power saw churned through the air. Connie smashed it into the door outline, ripping through it mercilessly. "This is the sound of me tearing up that ass, baby girl."

Pearl found herself lost in Connie's lustful gaze, then shook her heard. "I came to see if either of you has heard from Greg or Amethyst recently."

"No. They're still in Canada somewhere. I can't believe Greg sometimes. The way he leaves Steven at home." Peridot's heart fluttered just saying his name. S-S-Steven-sama must feel so lonely...

"You might want to ask the fusion." Peridot snapped out of it. "It normally keeps better track of those two clowns."

"The fusion has a name, you know." Pearl snapped.

"Oh, what was it again? Twin-Turbo Tongue Twister?"

"Don't be fucking rude, Peridot. You're gonna show Garnet Respect."

"Hey guys!" Steven came over, holding a box from Big D.

"Hi Steven!" Pearl waved. "How did the sacrifice to the sea god go this morning?"

"The largest culling yet." Steven beamed with pride. "70 people. Poseidon will be pleased with our offering. Now we can travel the seas freely."

"S-S-Steven sama!" Peridot stuttered, trying to hide the fact she was smitten by Steven's Jewfro. "What's in the box?"

"Just a couple of snacks I thought you girls would like."

"Oooo, what do you have?" Pearl said.

"Pearl can eat a snack while I hit it from the back!" Connie shouted.

"Well, for one, I brought eclairs," Steven said, reaching into the bag.

"Eclairs? As in, France?" Pearl's eyes widened.

HON HON BAGUETTE MODE ACTIVATED

"Yep. Want one?"

"Oh, Stevan" Pearl said, grabbing an eclair. "Yore aedoraeball, thinekong you could pawsebblae oonderstaen the eedeiosinkraececiees of the, Eclaire."

"MMMMM!" Connie shouted. "You might be speaking French, I'm about to be up in that ass, I don't care about the stench."

"What's an eclear?" Peridot asked.

"It's this." Steven pulled out a long, cylinder-like pastry. "Wanna try it? It's filled with yummy cream."

"I'm - I'm not sure."

"How about this: I'll feed it to you, and when you tell me to stop, I'll stop. OK?"

"Affirmative" Peridot nodded.

"Now open wide..."

Peridot opened her mouth, welcoming Steven's thick eclair to touch the tip of her tongue. It felt heavy but safe. As Steven slowly pushed it into her mouth, Peridot felt around the tip with her tongue. It tasted so good. She wanted more of it inside of her. She needed it. She rocked her head forward, taking more of it in, trying to satisfy her craving for more.

Steven's eclair was so big, it was taking up the width of her mouth, and it was getting hard to breathe. The end of Steven's eclair was right in front of her eyes, just another inch or two, and she could take the whole thing. Breathing didn't matter.

Peridot lurched forward, she was almost there...

"Gahh...yahh...ragk!"

She froze.

The eclair was at the back of her mouth. Everytime Peridot would try to move forward, the eclair would hit the back wall of her mouth and her gag reflex would kick in. Again. And again. And Again.

"Peridot, are you okay?" Steven asked, seeing the tears go down her face. "You don't have to take the whole thing at once. It's too big for something like that. Sadie checked. She said it was 8 inches. Maybe she should have bit down on it. That's what Steven liked to do whenever his father gave him one.

Peridot obeyed, letting the cream come into her mouth. After sloshing it around her mouth, she swallowed it, all of it.

"Good," Steven said with a smile. "How did you like it?"

"I... loved... it." She said between gasps of air. "More. Please."

"I don't have any left now. But I'll try to give you one tonight."

"Yes Dadd- I mean, thank you, Steven."

"DONE!" Connie said, cutting off the power saw.

Pearl walked up to the treehouse and started examining it. "Is it sturdy? I don't want these kids getting hurt playing in it later."

"Once you finish, I want that ass served up like a dessert dish," Connie whispered into her ear.

Pearl blushed, trying to focus on her work. "Connie, I-"

"RAWR!"

Steven dropped his bag, terrified by the overwhelmingly nefarious roar he just heard. A chill went down everyone's spine.

"A-A-A Gem Monster!" Peridot stuttered. "And it sounds barbaric!"

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" Steven started hyperventilating into the bag. "Guys, we have to stop it!"

"Can we even face whatever made that noise?! We're not even all together" Pearl pointed out.

"We have to try!" Steven materialized his shield. "To battle everyone! Let's go!"