Jesus ran his fingers through his long red-and-black hair. A black robe emblazoned with the symbols of Satan was draped from his pale lanky frame, the sun gleaming off the piercings impaling his cheeks, cheekbones, ears, eyebrows, unibrow section, lips, chin, eyelids, and corneas.
"You look on edge, JeBROvah," murmurred Judas. He was half-naked, sweat gleaming from his hard abs. His face was tattooed with intricate designs that all somehow pointed to My Chemical Romance. He also looked exactly like Gerard Way somehow.
"My true love Stan died," brooded the dark messiah. He had killed his dad with the Sword of Edginess before the story started in order to stay with his TRUE LOVE Satan, (Or Stan as Jesus called him) but Stan had died while cutting himself erotically.
Judas' lips gently caressed the back of his neck, a shiver chilling his spine despite the hot sun beating down upon them. Muhammed their brown lover winked up from the straw bed, still erect.
"Who needs Satan when you hae such great lovers?"
Since God and Satan were deaad the whole world was shitty. The world was a postapocalyptic state. Other realities were pouring in. Harry Potter had been executed by the Romans last week. Some African had been killed for calling himself the Prince of "Bellair". Seven of the Disciples died and Jesus cried eevry time because they had been so intimate.
In the flames of wrath Jesus had died and been reborn was a lich, with omg hot body and emo black and red hair and total gothic corset piercings too! Plus the Bible didn't matter so gay sex was ok.
Judas favorite band was Black Veil Brides. One day while at a concert Andy Biersack was like "Dude if you kill Jesus I'll give you like a Hershey's kiss." And then Judas had the idea. "I'll kiss him and then you'll know who to kill!"
"Dude that's a little gay" Andy said.
The next day Judas took out Jesus and Muhammed shopping at Spencer's and made out with him, but then Muhammed grabbed him and kissed him instead, so when Andy Biersack showed up he cut off Muhammed's head. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Jesus knew he had been betrayed and he took out the Sword of Dark Edginess and used its blood red sanguine blade to impale Judas and it was like a storm of blood red roses and flowers but also it was gross and bloody.
"JESUS CHRIST I LOVE YOU AGHAIWHAOISHFAOIHFIO" Judas said angstily and seductively and then died.
With tears rushing down his face Jesus grabbed the nearest dildo and shoved it through Andy Bearsack's eye. "GACKU" he said. then he died.
"NO MY TRUE LOEVS" Jesus saw that his favorite singer, and his two boyfriends had died, so he cut his wrists, and the nhe died and the world was forever black for literally everyone becaue the entire world died because Jesus was the emo saviour.