There is an unwelcoming silence in the room, but maybe I am just trying to block out the excruciating pain I feel in my abdomen. I feel like I was hit over the head with a rock. My body fights to move, but all it seems to be able to do is let my eyes flutter open.
A beam of light hits me and all I can see are my white surroundings. I start to panic and move my eyes around the room. All I see is white, until suddenly, there they are, the flowers that end up in the trash the next week. Well, at least he was here, or maybe his secretary had sent it over, she really knows how to pick them out, probably from all the years of practice.
Where is here anyways?
My mind tells me to get up and get out, but slumber overthrows it, and I slip into unconsciousness.
Was it all an act?
At first yes…I needed to be here, but then I wanted to be here…with you… and it's killing me to know that you'll never believe that.
God, how could I be so ignorant. I fell for his charm act. I never would have thought I could be so gullible, yet I also never expected to have a needle sticking out of my arm willingly. I curse at myself and my stupidity. What did I expect, a knight in shining armor that comes and take me away from all my troubles, from my glum life, my reality? I must be mistaken; because I know only one thing can do that. No Sara no. I can't let myself go down that path again.
Wait, what did I do? Oh, my God it can't be, I couldn't have. Could I? I did.
There it hits me. Michael is a far greater and more powerful drug than morphine will ever be. He is much more dangerous, he had me care, and I slipped towards my old ways. It's his entire fault. How could he? The lies, the lies, I can't stand it anymore. It was all a lie. The flirting, the caring, the kiss, the one blissful night, all of it was a massive lie. He used me until he received what he needed. How could he?
And he is gone, really gone. He left me all alone. Here she is again ladies and gentleman, the poor governor's daughter, the dirty low-life junky. Wow, I really did it this time. I am all alone left here to sulk in my repulsion.
I hear feet wandering about, followed by clattering. My eyes open gradually and I struggle to open my mouth. Nothing comes out. I feel the piercing pain in my abdomen again. I try to go through all the medical reasoning through my head, but I am drained as well as distracted.
A strange woman is lurking and touching a hanging bag, an IV bag. Now she is checking on the machinery that is surrounding me.
What happened? I couldn't have taken so much, I know better than that. Not even in that state of mind would I become suicidal. I just wanted to get away from the pain, just for a little bit.
Finally something makes its way out of my mouth.
"Wh…wh…who are you?" I struggle to say.
"Oh, no worries about me honey, I'm just here to help" she responds in a peculiar voice.
"Wh…where am I?" I ask, hoping she will actually answer this time.
"Don't worry honey, you will be fine. Go back to sleep" she replies, again not answering my question.
"N…n…no. I need to get up and...What is that?...No…don't please… no, not that… just not that. No!" I stammer.
She jabs the needle into my arm. I feel so tired already, and I don't think my mind can handle staying alert after this large dose of my so called get-away car, the thing I always thought I needed and now detest.
"Now, now honey. We need to be a good little girl. We wouldn't want to upset anyone, would we now? Yeah, that's right, get some rest. Sweet dreams honey" she replies while still holding the needle up like a trophy.
I swear I can hear her chuckle as I float towards the unconscious.