Friendship is like pissing in your pants- everyone can see it, yet, you're the only one who can feel the warmth it brings.
-Anonymous

Make it last forever, friendship never ends!
-The Spice Girls

In the beginning God created the Grant.
-Grant

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to say! What am I supposed to say? Tell me what I'm supposed to say. I don't know what I'm going to say. Or how I'm going to say it. Or what I'm going to say." Cammie breathed in and out heavily, acting violently towards inanimate objects.

Grant blinked, unsure what to do. "Um, you can wing it. That's what I do a lot. In fact, that's what I'm doing right now." He smiled. Cammie threw a sock at him. "Okay, okay. Tell me what happened." He assumed his psychotherapist face.

"Well, okay, so Zach and I did this thing, and," Cammie frowned while Grant nodded in agreement. Agreement to what he didn't really know. "And now it's all bad. Or good. I don't know. I can't have this right now." She screamed and threw a cup at the wall. It broke and cranberry juice got all over the wall and carpet. Oh, out of all the juices in the world it had to be cranberry.

"Please stop destroying my apartment."

"NO."

"Cammie, breathe in. Breathe out." Grant reassumed his psychotherapist face. "Now. How does this make you feel?"

"It makes me feel like breaking your apartment in half!" Cammie growled. "It also kind of makes me want to hug something soft." She sat down on the sofa and hugged a cushion, rocking back and forth.

"Okay, pretend I'm Zach," Grant suggested. "What do you want to say?" Cammie threw the cushion at him. "Cool, you want to throw things at Zach. So this is something bad."

"I don't know if it's bad or good! I don't know what to say!" Cammie screamed, throwing more things. A pair of scissors whizzed past Grant's ear.

"Let's try this again. I'm Zach." Cammie took in a deep breath and stared at Grant. "What do you want to tell him. Me?"

Cammie swallowed and took in another deep breath. "Okay. Zach, sweetheart," she began. Grant lifted on corner of his mouth. "What are you doing?"

"I'm smirking. Doesn't Zach do that a lot?"

Another cushion hit his face.

"Okay, Zach, sweetheart," Cammie tried again. "Remember about a month ago when we went to Venice? And we didn't use um, you know, like, condoms." Cammie said the word quietly. Grant smirked again. Cammie glared. Grant stopped. "Well, you see-" She stopped and slumped onto the sofa again. "I can't do this."

"Of course you can," Grant soothed reassuringly.

Cammie let out a shaky sigh. "No, I really can't." She took another deep breath, then looked up suddenly. "Did you hear that?" They both fell silent, then there was the sound of a key turning in a lock. "Shit! Is that Zach?" Cammie whisper-shouted.

Grant nodded. Cammie dived behind the couch. "I thought you wanted to talk to him!" Grant whisper-shouted to her.

"I do but I don't know what to say!" Cammie whisper-shouted back.

"Well hiding isn't going to help all that much!" Grant yelled.

"Grant?" A voice asked. Grant straightened and turned around to face his best friend, who was looking confused. "Who are you talking to?

"Uhhh," Grant stammered.

Cammie popped up from behind the couch. "Me, Zach, he was talking to me." Zach looked between the two suspiciously and confusedly. "I have something to tell you." Cammie threw a look at Grant, who gave her a thumbs-up. "I'm pregnant."

To which both Zach and Grant yelled, "YOU'RE PREGNANT?"

Cammie gave an incredulous look towards Grant. "You knew I was pregnant. Why are you so surprised?"

Grant blinked rapidly. "I thought you had an STD or something!"

To which Cammie and Zach yelled simultaneously, "YOU THOUGHT I HAD AN STD?" and " YOU'RE PREGNANT?"

"Well, yeah," Grant protested. "You never specified that you were pregnant. You just said that you didn't use a condom."

"I said that this could be good or bad, Grant," Cammie screamed, while Zach stood there with wide eyes muttering, 'You're pregnant?'. "An STD is BAD."

"You're pregnant," Zach said. "Oh my God, you're pregnant."

Cammie kicked Grant's crotch. "An STD? What the hell?"

Grant keeled over.

Thirty minutes later, Grant was okay and Cammie was calmed, a gallon of ice cream in front of her. "You're so weird, Grant," Cammie laughed. Zach hadn't said anything in a while. He looked like he was in shock.

"Well, you fucking hurt," Grant cried. Like, literally cried. With a tear.

"Oh my God, you're pregnant," Zach finally said.

Grant's eyes widened. "Oh my God, you're pregnant!" Cammie rolled her eyes and ate more ice cream. For a moment, it was silent, and then Grant spoke up again. "Can I name it?"

-Written in like, an hour, and unbetaed.
-And this is for Lily's (lilythesilly) Ally of Challenges- write for it and stuff. :D
-Also, write for the Epic Challenge which can be found on my profile.

end quote:
tony stark: don't think, drink.
iron man 2