A/N: I was listening to Idina Menzel's song 'If I Told You', and it put me in a fluffy mood, so here ya go…
Disclaimer: Wait, let me just check… nope. Oh well.
If I Told Him
Fiyero says I can tell him anything. He says I can trust him, and I believe him, I do.
Well, I tell him I do. I want to trust him, but I don't know how he'd react if I told him some of the things I want to.
If I told him my that my father hates me, that he blames me for Nessa's deformity, would he agree?
If I told him that Frex is right to blame me, would he hate me too?
I want to tell him these things. But if he hated me… I'm used to people hating me, it's a sort of default reaction to my skin, I suppose. I've never let anyone this close before, except maybe Glinda, but she left me. Alright, technically I left her, but it amounts to the same thing. When I really needed her, she abandoned me.
That's all right, I understand. But if Fiyero abandoned me, if he hated me… Oz, it hurts even to think about it. Thinking's never hurt before.
If I told him I'm not as innocent as he thinks I am, would he leave?
If I told him I'm not even a virgin, would he pull away?
If I told him I don't need to be treated like I'm made of precious porcelain, would he stop?
Because I don't want him to stop. Much as I hated Glinda being protective of me, I love Fiyero doing it. I don't know why. It should annoy me, it should drive me insane with irritation when he insists on protecting me, but it doesn't.
If I told him I intend to kill Morrible, would he be disgusted, like I know Glinda would be? Would he say that nothing is worth killing for, like I know she would?
If I told him that I don't just intend to kill her, I intend to enjoy it, would he think I was… I don't know, crazy? Sick? Would he even believe me capable of killing someone, or would he just want to protect me again?
If I told him I love him… but I can't.
Fiyero takes my hand as we sit on the grass together.
"You've been quiet today," he says softly. "Are you alright?"
This is it. I'm going to tell him everything I've been afraid to.
I tell him about my father, and how right he is, and he looks at me seriously, and gently touches my cheek, and tells me how wrong my father is. Glinda said the same thing, and I didn't believe her, but something in the way he's looking at me makes me know it's true. It's not my fault.
He doesn't hate me.
I tell him I'm not a virgin, and he looks shocked for a second, then shrugs and grins.
"Neither am I," he says, brushing it off.
He doesn't think I'm a slut, he doesn't even care. Oz, I love this boy.
I tell him about Morrible, and he stares at me for a long moment, until I desperately want to look away.
"Alright," he says at last. "But don't get yourself hurt."
He even accepts that.
I take a deep breath and gather all the courage I can find.
I tell him I love him.
And he kisses me tenderly on the forehead, and says the words I've never heard before in my life, the words I've only dreamed anyone would ever say to me.
"I love you too."
A/N: Reviewers get virtual Elphie hugs! (Or virtual Fiyero hugs, whatever floats your boat…) And we all love virtual hugs from fictional characters…