I sat on the floor, tears still
falling from my pale face. I had screwed everything up, theres no
going back. I kept thinking over and over again how stupid I was, to
fall for some stupid prick. I closed my eyes as tight as I could, and
took a couple deep breaths. Of course they didn't help me, at all.
I stood up, and pulled open the cabinet. I pulled out a small black
box, and carefully opened it to see my stuff.. My eyes grew big with
the idea, to make the pain go away. It seemed like a dream, so far
away. You might think I was crazy, but if you felt the pain I was
in.. I just wanted it to stop.. I grabbed the razor blade and slowly
sank back down against the wall. I stared at it for a little, then
carefully slid my fingers around it. The blood dripping from my
finger seemed so.. Alluring.
I tightened my grip on the tiny
razorblade, and lowered it down my hand, so it lay above my wrist. I
thought for a moment, on how the pain from my finger distracted me
from the pain all together. I asked myself, do I dare? At
this point I just wanted everything to stop.. I wanted people to love
me again, for who I am. I wanted my parents to not be disapointed in
me, I wanted the one I loved to love me back. I wanted everything to
be normal, I wanted everything to not hurt. I dropped about a
centimeter onto my wrist, and slid it acrost, still holdinf the
razorblade in my other hand. I closed my eyes, and let out a loud
scream. The first always hurt the most.. I told myself. I
looked down and the big gash in my arm, blood already climbing down
my pant legs. The red seemed to flow out, as if it wanted out of my
body. I held up my other arm, and brought it back to the poistion and
repeated this several times.
I guess you could say, I made the
pain go away..
