A/N: Hi! Got the idea from about a million and one Neji/Ten fics in the Naruto section. But I promise the plot is quite different! I might as well warn you that this is a stupid story. You won't be in any way enlightened about any facts of life.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran.

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"Get off my lap."

"But Okaasan! There's something under my bed! Let me sleep here!" Tamaki wailed, his right hand hanging on his friends' neck like a monkey, his left, carrying his surly-looking Beary.

"Get off my lap before I decide to kill you." The shadow king said coolly.

"Kyou-ya! Please? Mon ami, my dearest friend, the mother of my beautiful children, let daddy sleep with here with you."

The brunet stood up, Tamaki's butt hit the marble floor.

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing his injured pride, "Why did we have to sleep at Nekozawa's house? We could have used your rest house."

"Because it's under renovation. It was your idea to go into a ski trip and he offered his place for us to stay. Deal with it. Get back to your room, I'm going to sleep." Kyouya replied, glaring at their host club president.

Tamaki stood in the middle of the room, wearing his blue pajamas and hugging his beloved bear. He looked like a lost kid.

He sighed. Adjusted his glasses, "Fine. If I check under your bed and find nothing will you leave me alone?"

The blond nodded.

Kyouya opened his door and walked towards Tamaki's room while his friend followed him. He went inside the dark room and switch on the lights. Then went down on all fours and checked under the bed.

"There. Nothing. I'm going now. Goodnight."

"Kyouya!" Tamaki grabbed his friends' pajama top. "Don't leave me! Belzeneff might appear." He whined.

"I doubt Belzeneff will take an interest in you. Go to sleep." He answered while he tried (unsuccessfully) to pry Tamaki's hands (fists) off his gray top.

"But I don't want to sleep alone! He's just waiting for me to sleep and when I do he'll steal Beary!"

The shadow king closed his eyes and asked the powers that be for patience. "Tamaki, please stop talking nonsense and go to sleep, we need to wake up at 5 AM tomorrow and it's now-" He checked his watch, "11:47 PM"

"Kyouya! At least sleep beside me!" The blond suddenly hugged him. His arms wrapped around the brunet's midriff and buried his head on Kyouya's neck. "Stay here! I don't want to be alone in this room!"

"Get off me!" He growled.

"I'll be good! I promise! Please stay, for Beary's sake!"

"For the last time, your angry bear will not interest Nekozawa or Belzeneff or anyone!"

"But I want to sleep with you." Tamaki murmured to his neck.

"What?" Kyouya asked, not quite sure if what he heard was as perverted as it sounds.

"I want to sleep beside you!"

"Well, I prefer to sleep alone, so goodnight." He replied and turned to leave.

---

"Suoh-kun?" Tamaki heard someone call his name. He covered his entire body with the blanket. "There's nothing here. Nothing."

"Suoh-kun" He heard it again. The blond buried his face on his pillow and covered his ears.

"Suoh-kun…" The way his name was pronounced reminded Tamaki of someone playing hide and seek. He threw the covers and ran straight to the door and down the corridors where Kyouya's room should be. He entered one of the bedrooms.

Inside was the biggest collection of stuffed cats he had ever seen. The entire room were full of shelves and shelves of all kinds of cats, in the middle was a big altar decorated with gold cat figurines. Tamaki cowered in the corner, too afraid to move but too curious to stay put. He approached the table. In the middle was a circle dish filled with what anyone can see as blood. He recoiled in fear.

"What…Did Neko-senpai kill all these animals?" he thought as he blindly ran out of the room and hit someone.

"Suoh-kun. What are you doing in the sacred room?" Nekozawa-senpai asked, looking horrified to find him there.

Tamaki hid behind the black robed guy, "Why do you have an entire room of cats?" he asked fearfully, "Do normal people kill cats?"

"You should not have entered this room." Nekozawa wheezed as he pulled Tamaki outside and carefully closed the door. "Only a true Nekozawa is allowed to be inside. No one other than us have ever set foot inside that room." He explained.

"Why?" The blond asked, still shivering from fright.

Nekozawa removed his black wig and signaled for Tamaki to follow him, they went to Nekozawa's room. The blond waited while his senpai lit the 13 candles situated near the vanity mirror.

"That room…is cursed." He started, "My grandfather told me to never let anyone other than a Nekozawa enter that room, those who did will suffer from a curse."

"Cu..cu…curse?" The Host Club King squeaked. "Ho..ho..how?"

"We never learned, we never saw them again."

"Nani?!!"

"But Otoosan told me it could just be a rumor of course, one was found dead but it might not be related. Right Belzeneff?" Umehito looked at the yellow puppet. Belzeneff gave a nod.

Tamaki looked as if he was about to cry, Nekozawa moved the puppet closer to the blonds' face.

"You have to be careful. You might be cursed." His senpai advised.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Host club King screamed and ran all the way to Kyouya's room.

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"GET THE HELL OFF ME!!!" The Shadow King kicked his idiotic friend off the bed. Tamaki landed on his stomach and woke him. "What on earth are you doing?" he shouted, resisting the urge to stab the blond to death and return to sleep. "It's One in the morning and you're running around waking people up?!"

"Kyouya!!! I'm cursed!!!" Tamaki sobbed on the brunet's stomach. "Nekozawa-senpai said I'm going to die!!!"

Kyouya pushed him, "For God's sakes, don't ruin my pajamas with your tears! And calm down, what cock and bull story have you been swallowing?"

"I went inside a room, killed cats! Blood! Shelves and shelves! Senpai said I'm dying!" The blond idiot explained incoherently. "I want to sleep here!"

"Let me get this straight. You went inside a room and killed cats?" The brunet asked calmly. "And you're not sleeping here."

"No! I went inside a room with dead cats!"

"Dead cats accompanied you inside a room?"

"Suoh-kun entered our sacred feline room. No one who is not a Nekozawa is allowed to enter there. It is said that the room curses anyone who trespass." Their senpai interrupted.

"I'm going to dieeee!!!"

"Don't be stupid. Gentlemen, I don't know what games you're playing and frankly, I'm not interested, if you would please get out of my room so that I could sleep?"

"Pleasant dreams, Ohtori-kun." Umehito Nekozawa said before leaving.

Kyouya looked at Tamaki who sat in the corner of his bed, hugging his knees.

"I don't want to sleep alone." He told the Shadow King tearfully. "Belzeneff might kill me."

The brunet rolled his eyes heavenward. "Fine. Sleep on that side." He said, throwing the blond a pillow, "Don't even attempt to come within 20 inches of me, or I'll be the one who kills you."

"Hai! I promise." Tamaki immediately lay down on the other side of Kyouya's bed and hugged the pillow. "Night mommy."

"Goodnight."

---

He blinked. He was seeing things, Kyouya was sure of it.

He woke up beside a little boy who, strangely enough, looks a lot like a baby version of Tamaki Suoh. The brunet nudged the boy awake.

"Mommy?" The kid opened his lavender eyes.

The Shadow King peered at the child. "This can't be Tamaki."

"Koya?"

"Tamaki?!"

---

"What have you done to him?" Kyouya gritted his teeth, carrying the child in his arms, he barged inside Nekozawa's chambers. "Why is our club president a baby?!"

The feline lover turned pale, "So it's true? The room is really cursed?"

"Return him to his normal form now!" The Ohtori heir demanded. "Who do you think will look after him?"

Nekozawa examined the child who started crying when he saw him and Belzeneff, baby Tamaki struggled to wrap his arms around the Shadow king's neck.

"Nii-chan! Kowaii!" He blubbered, "Kowaii!"

Kyouya pried the chubby arms suffocating him, "Hold still, I'm trying to find a way to get you back."

"You can't have him back." Neko-san stated. "Not until it's time."

"What are you talking about?!"

"Well, I've been told that the effects of the curse lasts a week. At least, that's what I know. I can't really confirm it since no one I know had ever been cursed. This is my first curse." Neko-san explained.

"Are you telling me that Tamaki will stay as a 3 year old child for a week?!" the brunet shouted, feeling completely harassed.

"Hai." Belzeneff answered for him.

"Then what will I do with this kid?!"

"He can stay with you for a while."

"I am not taking care of Tamaki! This is your curse, you deal with it." He said and left the baby in Nekozawa's arms.

---

"Senpai." Hikaru started.

"What is that?" Kaoru asked.

"Who is that?" Haruhi said.

"He looks a lot like Tama-chan!" Huni exclaimed happily.

"Ah." Mori added.

Kyouya rubbed his temples, this has to be the most stupid thing that ever happened to him. Tamaki's baby version had made Nekozawa's life hell. He did nothing but cry and declare how scary "Kitty onii-chan" was. In the end, Kyouya had to take the baby since Tamaki had started chewing on their senpai's wig. Not to mention hit Kirimi with about a dozen Belzeneff-looking dolls.

So far this day, Baby Tamaki had pooped on the shadow king's homework, ate Kyouya's lunch and puked all over the brunet's expensive shoes. His patience was being sorely tested. The Chairman had been leaving him messages looking for his "idiotic son." He still wasn't able to return the call.

"Look on the bright side, 5 days more to go." He thought, then faced the Host club members who were eyeing Tamaki with interest, the twins even started taking pictures.

"Tamaki won't be with us for a while. He's in France and I have no clear idea of what he is doing there. And I don't really care." He explained.

"So? Who is that?" Kaoru pointed to Baby Tamaki who was now toddling toward Haruhi.

"Tama—" he started but was able to stop himself on time.

"Tama?" the Host Club chorused.

"Home." Kyouya continued.

"Tamahome?" Haruhi asked, looking at the child who was now tugging on her pants. She raised him. "You're quite cute aren't you?"

"Let's call him baby Tama-chan since he looks like Tama-chan and Tama-chan is not here!" Huni explained excitedly.

"Ah, baby Tama-chan."

"But You still didn't answer our question." Hikaru said.

"Who is he?" Kaoru added.

"My cousin." Kyouya didn't explain.

"You have a cousin who looks a lot like Tamaki-senpai?" Haruhi looked confused.

The Shadow King gave an amiable smile, scaring everyone. "Is that a problem?" he asked them all rather calmly.

"No!" The natural rookie immediately denied.

"Iie Kyou-chan!"

"Ah."

"It's cool. Absolutely!" Hikaru and Kaoru.

---

Haruhi watched baby Tama-chan play with the toys Kyouya brought with him. "He really looks a lot like Tamaki-senpai doesn't he?" she asked the twins.

"Cuter."

"10 times cuter."

They watched the kid.

"Is it okay to let Kyouya-senpai take care of a kid?' Kaoru asked his brother.

The baby crawled to where the Shadow King was and tried to climb on the brunet's lap.

"I don't know."

They watched Kyouya try to stand. The baby clung to him.

"He also acts a lot like Tono." Hikaru added.

"Hai." Haruhi smiled. "Then they will get along just fine then."

---

The Shadow King closed his eyes. When the real Tamaki returned. He was really going to kill him.

"Onii-chan. Beary?" Baby Tamaki asked, looking for his bear.

Kyouya felt like crying. This was not going well.

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A/N: Anybody who can think of a suitable title?