So, I don't know how many of you are fans of Boyce Avenue but for those of you are, I felt that the song Broken Angel described Quinn down to the word. It's like they were watching Glee, saw Quinn and said
'fuck this, she needs a damn song!' which I agree with. So yes, this is based on Quinn's shitty life and a BA song. I hope you all enjoy it.
It follows no specific timeline but I'm going to say AU, Future fic?
Warnings: Femslash; Faberry
Summary: "And I promise that it's not your fault/it was never your fault"
Sometimes, she's not sure how to reach Quinn. She'll watch her, standing in a mirror glaring at herself and picking apart everything. She's seen Quinn look at her old childhood pictures, pictures that showed Russell smiling tightly with his hand on Quinn's shoulder. She's watched Quinn trace his face, a lone tear sliding down her face as she tried to piece together some unsolvable puzzle. She's listened to Quinn late at night, when Quinn thinks she's sleeping.
Quinn often whispers, mostly to Rachel's chest in the dead of night when her lover should be sleeping. She doesn't talk to Rachel specifically, but she speaks to her heart instead. She asks for forgiveness, she apologizes for things she hasn't done. She tells Rachel's heart that she doesn't want to break it.
Rachel never interrupts Quinn; she just lets her say her piece. She feels her heart clinch whenever Quinn's voice catches, every time. She wants to move, alert Quinn that she's awake but she knows her girlfriend will just retreat. So she lies silently, breathing deeply and evenly, letting Quinn whisper the secrets in the night that she couldn't speak during the day.
Quinn doesn't want to be the way she is. She doesn't want to be afraid that she's going to mess up and that Rachel will leave her. She wants to wake up and hold Rachel tighter just because, not just because she dreamed that Rachel grew tired of Quinn's pettiness. She tries to be the perfect girlfriend; she attends all of Rachel's shows, cooks her favorite foods, she's even ran across town just to get Rachel cough syrup before from a specialty store. But she worries. In the back of her mind, her father is always telling her she isn't good enough. Even though Rachel tells her she is.
Rachel doesn't want to spend her entire life reassuring Quinn that she loves her. She doesn't want to have to chase away shadows that keep Quinn awake but she's willing too. She loves Quinn and she just wishes her girlfriend could see what she was instead of what she wasn't. Sometimes, things are good. Sometimes, Quinn will smile and it'll be so real and adoring that Rachel's heart just melts. Sometimes, Quinn will cry, the entire night, and Rachel will hold her and vow to hate Russell Fabray until her last breath.
Quinn doesn't mean to cry the entire night sometimes, it just happens. She'll have a happy memory then remember how it's been dashed and it'll open the flood-gates. She'll cry until her eyes hurt and her body's too exhausted to continue. She'll promise to love her father until her last breath.
On the nights when Quinn cries, Rachel holds her until she falls into a fitful sleep. She sings to her and tells her she loves her. She makes sure to spend those nights reminding Quinn that she did nothing wrong. Russell is the way he is because he's an asshole. That it's not her fault. It was never her fault.
Quinn doesn't want to feel the hope blossom in her chest, but every time Rachel tells her it's not her fault, it does. Because she knows Rachel believes that…even if she never will.