One shot based after Fridays episosde which I LOVED! So proud of Lauren, they needed to be told and she really put them in their place! Hopefully now Joey will try and win her back instead of the other way round :)
Wow. That felt good. Really good. The old Lauren wouldn't have done that. The old Lauren would have got shitfaced and then made some stupid comment about a 'jogging date' and embarrassed herself in front of everyone. New Lauren is way more grown-up and mature. Definitely more grown up than them two. Ergh. How dare they try and blame me for it? Like it was my fault! As if my not being there is an excuse for him to jump into bed with my best friend and for her to jump into bed with my ex. Lucy, I would have expected but Whitney, not so much. I knew she had a bit of a crush on him when he kissed her but I didn't think it lasted all this time and throughout my whole relationship with him. Why her, though? I mean, if he'd been missing me or whatever and he slept with some random girl, I'd have been okay with that. We weren't together and he's only human so I couldn't be angry with him. But my best friend. Ex-best friend now, that is. Were there no other girls in the whole of London? And he's got a bit of a nerve saying he was 'disappointed' in me. I'm disappointed too. I'm disappointed in both of them. Here I am going through this massive thing and trying my hardest to get better, and there they are sleeping with each other! I thought he'd changed. I thought maybe being with me and the intensity of our relationship had changed him. More fool me, ay? But I feel hugely relieved to have got that off my chest and had a go at them because in all honesty, they needed to hear it. I could have been a bit more hurtful, actually. Said something really nasty. Ha, counsellors are right, talking about stuff does make you feel better. Drinking isn't always the answer. Who'd have thought it ay, Lauren Branning, coming to that conclusion all by herself? I really have changed! The smile on my face doesn't stay there long though as I hear his voice behind me. Fuck. I stop in my tracks but don't turn around.
"Babe. Wait." He says, louder this time, catching up with me.
"Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that anymore." I say firmly, and I silently (in my head) applaud the absence of the tears I couldn't stop falling, just ten minutes earlier. With a tiny amount of pleasure, I note that Joey looks a bit pissed at my comment. Well, I'm pissed that he fucked my best friend. Shit happens. C'est la vie.
"Can we talk?" He asks.
"I don't really have anything left to say, but yeah, you can talk." I nod, reluctantly. He motions over at the bench a foot away from us and we sit down.
"What is it?" I ask when he doesn't say anything.
"I'm sorry. You have to know that. You know that, don't ya? I'm sorry. Like, really sorry and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't do it again." He shakes his head, urgently.
"Doesn't change nothing though, does it? It still happened." I shrug.
"I'm sorry that I was trying to excuse it by saying I didn't know if you were gonna come back or not because that's not an excuse at all and I know that. And I'm so sorry that you nearly drank vodka, because of me, again. But I'm so unbelievably proud of you for spitting it out. And I probably can't tell ya that either, can I? But I am. I'm dead proud of ya."
"I'm proud of me too. Everything is different now, Joey."
"How do you mean?"
"I mean, I'm done. I'm done with you. And you don't know how brilliant it is to finally be able to say that."
"You're not. We're not done. You know, I still-' He starts but I hold my hand up to stop him before he goes any further.
"Don't say it, I'm begging you, please do not say it. Or I might slap you."
"It didn't mean anything. You know you're the only girl who's ever meant anything to me."
"Funny way of showing it."
"I know. But it's true. You are."
"I don't know what's bought all this on, anyway. The best part of this week, you couldn't wait to get shot of me. Giving me stupid excuses about being busy at work. You clearly wanted me to leave you alone. So why don't you leave me alone now?"
"Cos I was feeling guilty as fuck. I didn't want you to find out, did I? When you went, it was like mental. One minute you're in the Vic trying to pour yourself a drink and I'm holding you back, and the next, Lucy tells me you're gone and we're probably never gonna see you again. Then she started kissing me and all I could think about was you. The day I found out you'd gone, I was gonna come round to see ya. Bring you flowers or something. I know I've messed up babe, but I just freaked out. I thought I was never gonna see you again and then it just hit me what a prick I've been. And I was like, fuck. I was missing ya, and I know how pathetic I sound right now, believe me, I know. But I was missing you and she was there. It could have been anyone."
"So why weren't it just anyone? Why her? You know, if it had been some random girl, I wouldn't have minded. It's not like we were together. But it's the fact that it was Whitney. How could you?"
"I regretted it as soon as it was over. Even during. I hate myself. This is just what I do. I fuck things up."
"Was she better than me?"
"Babe, please."
"Take that as a yes then."
"Course she fucking wasn't! No-one comes close to you. You were in my head all the time. I stupidly thought it'd make me feel better."
"And did it?"
"No, it didn't."
"But why her?"
"Because she was there."
"So, that's it? It's not gonna happen again? You're not gonna go out?"
"No! I told her to go before I came after you just now. I don't particularly wanna be friends with her. Like if you didn't want me to talk her, that wouldn't be a problem. It was just a stupid mistake that you were never supposed to find out about."
"You can talk to whoever you want. What are you actually sorry about? That it happened or that I know it happened?"
"That it happened. If I had a flying Delorean, I'd go back to that day and have a night in watching crappy films with Alice."
"Those chick flicks that we hate."
"Yeah, those. Do you remember when she'd always make us watch the one with the blonde bird who'd been a bridesmaid a load of times?"
"27 Dresses. Yeah, and she'd start crying and we'd be taking the piss and laughing at how Hollywood gives girls an unrealistic view of relationships."
"I miss it, if you can believe that?"
"I miss it, too."
"Did you think of me while you were gone?"
"Yeah, unfortunately I did."
"I really am sorry you know, Lauren. I wasn't thinking and I did something really stupid. If I believed, even for a second that I'd ever see you again or you'd give me another chance, I'd have followed you to wherever you was, begging you to see me. I thought I'd lost ya."
"I suppose we can be friends."
"I guess I'll have to settle for that."
"And by friends I mean, we're civil to each other if we bump into each other."
"And that's it?"
"That's it. I don't need you to be happy anymore. I meant what I said in there, you know. You're free to sleep with whoever you want, be it Whitney, Lucy, whoever you like. It really is nothing to do with me."
"I'm not gonna do that. You know that, don't ya?"
"I didn't imagine you'd do it the first time round, so I can't say I believe ya."
"You've gotta believe me. It definitely will never happen again, with either of 'em. With no-one. Unless you wanna take me back."
"You didn't believe me, did ya?"
"About what?"
"You serious? You've forgotten? The night you dumped me, Lucy spiked my drink. But you didn't believe me when I told you."
"Shit. Fuck. See, this is exactly what I mean. I fuck things up. I guess I just don't know her as well as you do; and it seemed more possible that you'd been drinking."
"Do you believe me now?"
"Yeah. Yes! After all the games she were playing like with asking me to go dinner when you were there with Peter and when she lied to your parents that you'd text her, and telling you that me and her were together. It all fit into place after that. I knew that if you had been drinking knowingly, eventually you'd have just admitted it to me cos you were always honest with me and now I know how sly she is. I'm sorry I didn't believe ya, babe."
"It's fine, I'll just add it to the list of all the times you've let me down."
"Fuck. Okay, I deserved that. Fucking hurts though." Joey winces, but I just shrug and he takes a deep breath.
"I know you can do better than me and I sure as hell don't deserve ya. But, call it your bad luck, misfortune or whatever, but you're it for me. I -, you know. I wanna say it but you might slap me. You know what I'm trying to say. So, you're kinda stuck with me cos I'm not gonna give up. You left once; there is no way I can let you do that again. Because, there's only one of you, Lauren Branning, and we'll never find what he had together, with other people. Cos we were supposed to be together." Joey gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Don't." I mumble, trying to stay strong and not let him affect me.
"'Cos the thing is, babe. I lo-' he starts to say it again but I clamp my hand over his mouth because I don't want to hear him say it. I can't hear him say it.
His voice is muffled against my hand, but he manages to get it out, loud and clear:
"'Cos I love ya."
A/N- On my main story, the next chapter is already written and will be posted either tomorrow or Monday as soon as I've edited and the chapter after that is very nearly written so should also be up sometime during next week :)