Author's Notes: Altough I'm sorry to say that A New Friend is just a one time thing, thank you for the rave reviews! I hope this is good too (not a one time thing).

Shekaoel Spaceport, Hirshal

June 14, 2011

2:12 PM

"Yesterday, police said that they have received three photos that are believed to contain the image of Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Six years ago, Beeblebrox, who was at the time the President of the Galaxy, stole the new governmental starship the G.I.S. Heart of Gold at its launching ceremony.

Beeblebrox was last seen on the newly discovered planet Magrathea, in captivity of police, but an ether imbalance in the airwaves caused one of the supercomputers in the building to explode. Beeblebrox, and the three others he was with, were lost in the explosion.
Confirmed reports show that the explosion acted as a time warp, transporting Beeblebrox several hundred million years into the future to Milliways restaurant. There, Beeblebrox added onto his criminal record with the theft of the stunt ship of the band Disaster Area, which the lead singer, Hotblack Desiato, was going to launch at the concert several days later, yet millions of years in the past.

Disaster Area's remote control sensors indicated the use of the onboard teleportation device, which showed that Beeblebrox was not killed in the crash of the stunt ship into the local star of the planet the concert was taking place on.

After that, Beeblebrox managed to evade the police for several months, until he was tracked down at Barnard Star, trying to board a ship to Betelgeuse VII. He escaped again by causing a fake bomb threat as a diversion, and managed to board a bus trip out somewhere East. His current locations have been unknown since then.

Though police may have located him, through an anonymous contributor given into the Federal Office in Proximus Centuri. They have recently analysed three photos taken at the Dsiban Spaceport, and have already confirmed the reports of this as the location of Beeblebrox as virtually definite."

The radio switched off.

Hazel took his headset off and stuffed it in his carry-on backpack. He groaned loudly and slumped back into the uncomfortable plastic seat.

An announcement then came over the loudspeaker.

"Flight 918 to Delrassian," said the voice. "Final boarding call. The next available flight to Delrassian is in about 16 hours. If this information is relevant to you, then I don't know why you came to the spaceport 16 hours too early. But all will all others on a flight to Delrassian please make your way to the terminal. Thank you."

"Oh, great," muttered Hazel. "I'm late."

Hazel was about 27, with long dirty blond hair and an unshaven face. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked very tired. He was wearing cargo pants and a pale green sweatshirt with his black backpack, and he had just turned off his sub-ether radio upon seeing there was nothing good playing on the music stations, so there was only news, which he hadn't liked listening to for a while.

He grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. Luckily, he had found a seat close to the door, so he so he only had to walk through about five waiting rooms to get to the terminal. He didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing, since he hated the tedious ID checking, but it would mean he could get onto his ship quicker.

After a very long time, Hazel found himself at the front of the line. He hadn't noticed, since he was half-asleep.

The clerk at the desk said, "Passport, please."

He shoved his hand into his backpack, and finally retrieved his wallet. He handed her his passport.

She quickly surveyed it to see if the information matched the man standing in front of her.

The passport said this:

Surname

Xorbed

Given Names

Hazel Epobb

Citizenship

Rigellian

Date of Birth

26/9/16/3

Gender

Male

Place of Birth

Rigel IX

Date of Issue

32/12/17/4

The clerk looked back at him. He looked that age, and the picture did match.

"VR card," said the clerk.

Hazel handed her his Voice Recognition card.

VR cards were a type of ID card that makes sure that the voice of whoever owns it matches the voice of whoever bought it. It's sort of like a tape recorder, but about the size of a tiny dent in the plastic card.

The clerk pressed one of the buttons on the VR card.

"Hazel Epobb Xorbed," said Hazel into the card.

The clerk pressed another button on the VR card. The word Match appeared.

"RR card," said the clerk.

Hazel handed her his Retinal Recognition card.

RR cards had basically the same principle of a VR card, except using eyes instead of voice.

The clerk pressed one of the buttons on the RR card.

Hazel pressed his eye against the tiny glass bulb on the card.

The clerk pressed another button on the RR card. The word Match appeared.

The clerk handed Hazel back his ID cards.

"Have a nice flight. Thank you for choosing Western Spaceways."

"Whatever."

Hazel trudged through the tunnel, and just as he was nearing the door, he heard shouting coming from the desk at the end of the tunnel.

Just then, five policemen came running up, MDB guns aimed at him.

"Freeze!" yelled the sergeant.

"What the hell?" yelled Hazel.

"You're under arrest for four counts of spacecraft theft!"

"Spacecraft theft? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about!"

"Give it up, Beeblebrox!"

"Beeblebrox? Wait a second…oh, son of a bitch…that guy on the radio! No, no, no, no! It's not me! You've got the complete wrong person!"

"Give it up. We know who you are."

"How the hell did you come to that conclusion?"

"Come with us."

The sergeant grabbed Hazel and snapped his hands in lithium handcuffs.

"We'll tell you on the way there," said the cop.