Aden has struggled with being alone ever since Sonja got her body back. He has so many emotions and thoughts that he wants to share with her. Now that she isn't inside his mind to hear them, will he find a way to let them out?
A/n: Hi, guys! I've taken a bit of a break from The Onion Prince to write this one-shot. As readers of that story almost certainly know, I am a fan of Aden/Bismark. Nevertheless, I find the bond between Aden and Sonya pretty endearing and felt inspired to give them their own one-shot. It isn't my favorite of my fics by a long shot, and it's a little fluffy for my tastes, but I really hope you enjoy it. As always, thank you very much for reading and reviews are highly appreciated.
Finding the Right Words
There was something wonderful about having your best friend living inside of your body. Aden had only begun to notice it after Sonya had been returned to her own body, after the magic had been undone and their lives were no longer one shared experience to which they both were bound.
He'd been ecstatic at first. He had complete privacy once more, and Sonja seemed elated to be able to move about of her own free will once again. He could finally take baths without his swim trunks. There'd be no more arguments over where to go or what do to with a body that he shared with another, no more bickering over how to handle social interactions, no more constant noise in his head that belonged to someone other than himself. He could have silence.
Silence. Ever since she'd left it had begun to drive him mad. He still found himself asking her what the next step in a recipe might be as he cooked his dinner over the stove in the evenings, or wishing her a good morning as he got out of bed, or looking to her for comfort in his loneliest moments only to find that his own voice was the only one in his head. On nights when he stayed out extra late he even missed her admonishing tone as she'd tell him to hurry up and get some sleep.
It was a drastic change that had left him feeling as though he'd abruptly hit a brick wall while flying at a hundred miles per hour without warning. His days had been filled with conversations with Sonja about every little thing they encountered from how amusingly klutzy Lily was to the fears that passed through their minds, inevitably visible to one another. When he was wounded and frightened and fleeing from battle she was there in his mind, cheering him on and promising that everything would be alright. She'd been his only ally when he came to the island, and even though he'd made friends with all of the residents on Fenith Island, she was still the closest to his heart.
The funny thing was, he'd never taken the time to consider these things when she was still around to hear them. He'd been so swept up in the inconvenience of their situation and so focused on finding a way to reverse it that he'd ended up taking for granted all of the good things he'd gained from it. He couldn't remember thanking her once for everything she'd done for him, and when they had at long last separated, it left him with a lingering sense of regret.
He hadn't found a way to say it yet, to thank her and tell her how much she meant to him, how much her absence shook him. It had been so easy to tell her anything before, mostly because he'd had no choice. She was in his mind and it was nearly impossible to conceal anything from her. Now things were different. When he spoke to her, it was known that he wanted her to know whatever it was that he had to say. The rules had changed, and he hadn't grown accustomed to them yet.
In addition to his uncertainty about speaking to Sonja, Aden felt like words just wouldn't be adequate to express his deep gratitude, and whatever other feelings had settled into him since Sonja had left. There had to be another way.
Maybe it was the breezy, black night that poured into his room through the open windows and made him feel chilled and unsettled, or maybe his emotions had just worn him down at last. Either way, Aden decided that he would be silent no more. He had to let her know, and he knew exactly how to do it. Words were not enough.
If it were anyone else, flowers would have been cliché. But to them, flowers would always be a symbol of their childhood and of the innocent, strong bond they shared, as were the flowers in the band he'd made her when they were children that she'd worn atop her head faithfully for years, until she returned it to him only several months earlier. He never figured out quite what she'd meant by the gesture, but the headband of flowers was still resting on a shelf in his cabinet, too embarrassing to be displayed and too cherished to be discarded.
Aden flicked on the lights on the first floor of his home. He flung open the doors to the storage cabinet and rummaged through the contents until he came across what he'd been seeking: in a sealed bag were flowers of nearly every variety he'd ever grown. They'd been picked months ago, back when he and Sonja still shared a body. He and Sonja had grown them together. They were products of their hard work, proof of their strong bond and evidence that when they worked together they could accomplish great things. And they were perfect.
He set them aside for now and grabbed a thin square of dark brown leather and laid it flat atop his workbench. With a thin blade from his toolbox, he cut a long strip from the leather and set aside the extra. He grabbed a handful of flowers and began choosing the ones with the largest, healthiest petals and most vivid colors. There were moondrops, fireflowers, toy herbs, and spring flowers amongst others, and they formed a rainbow of bold, brilliant colors as Aden wove them into the headband with deft hands that had become quite skilled at crafting.
Aden glanced at the old headband of flowers in the cabinet as his hands worked. These were not the soft, delicate daisies and wildflowers that he'd chosen for Sonya as a child. They'd become adults now, and their relationship had evolved. It was more complex. Everything he'd felt for her back then was still present within him, though much stronger now. Time and trials had brought them closer, made their bond more intense. A new headband of grander, brighter flowers seemed appropriate.
Though it was well past the hour when most Fenith residents went to bed, it was a hot, clear skied summer night that he suspected Sonja would not be sleeping through. She was still accustomed to Aden's schedule of staying up late and sleeping in, and he'd spotted her in the same place three nights this week. A strong impulse told him to seek her out, and Aden was the sort of person who gave merit to his gut instincts, so his left home with his gift in hand.
De Saint Coquille Lane looked beautiful at night. The moon was a little under half full, but it was the stars that were truly striking in the smog-less, clear country sky. He could see them doubled in the surface of the lake as he turned around the corner of the De Saint Coquille mansion. Before him was the oak tree by the lake where they'd first arrived on Fenith Island together, where their time in the same body had begun. It seemed to glow in the starlight, and her silhouette was obvious even from where Aden stood several yards away.
Anxiety crept up on him as he approached her, the flower headband clutched in his right hand and held behind his back. In the back of his mind he questioned his gift, doubted its adequacy, but he quickly brushed the thoughts aside. His feet made small, audible noises as they flattened the dry blades of grass beneath them, and it caught her attention.
"Aden?" Her back was relaxed against the trunk of the tree, and he had to look down to meet her gaze from his standing position. The expression she wore was one of surprise, caution, longing and adoration, and it reminded Aden of a complex mosaic. He was hardly the silent type; in fact he was more the type whose words often left his mouth before he'd given them enough thought. But for whatever reason, when he looked at her face and thought of all of the things he wanted to communicate to her, no words would come.
"Aden?" she repeated, this time with a small wave of her hand as if to ask "are you still with me?"
"I wanted to give you this," he replied as he held the headband in both hands and lowered himself to his knees, bringing the headband with him until it was softly adorned atop her head.
"Huh?" Uncertain of what she'd been gifted with, Sonja removed it from her head and held it in front of her face to examine. The shadows cast by the tree leaves were too heavy for her to make out much, so she stood and carried the headband into the open with her. The gift was quickly covered in moonlight, and when she saw the flowers in their brilliant hues, her eyes filled with tears.
"When we were…together…there were a lot of things that I didn't realize. I don't know how to say them to you, so I thought a gift might be able to do it," he said as he stepped towards her. He took the headband from her hands and placed it atop her head once more, but she was still and silent. "Thank you," he said from the bottom of his heart.
He had missed her, too. She'd been so sure that she had been the only one, that Aden had been moving on with his life, embracing his newfound freedom without a thought to what they'd once shared. She recognized the flowers as ones they'd grown together and their meaning was not lost to her.
"Do you like it?" She heard Aden ask, but words escaped her, so she sought out the sides of the band with her hands and pulled it down gently, tightening its grip around her head.