A/N This story was originally a Bethyl one shot, but you asked for more, so we're having fun with it. There's romance and comedy, not too much drama. Just a lot of good redneck fun. Our couple is big on the lovin' and big on the party. I hope you'll enjoy!
The Daryl Dixon Diet
She'd been chewing his ass out for the past half hour. He'd never seen her so pissed off, acting like she hated the very air he was breathing. She was usually so sweet, and so mellow, she was his Baby. What the fuck was going on?
"That's it, I'm going on a diet!" she was yelling at him.
"Diet? C'mon ya weigh like a buck ten," he almost smiled.
"Not that kind of diet, a Daryl Dixon diet! In other words I've had it Daryl!" Damn, she'd snapped.
"What the fuck Beth, what did I do? You told me to go ahead n go. Ya said it, 'Go on down ta the Mad Dawg Tavern an have a few beers with Merle.' Ya said ya wanted ta watch yer chick flicks. And Baby that's all I done, then I come right home ta you. Just like I always do," He was feeling all confused.
"You're a jackass Daryl, you came home reeking of cheap perfume, and I'm not talking about the cheap perfume you got me for Christmas, some other woman's cheap perfume!" she was out for bear and he running scared. He may be bigger, stronger and faster, but he knew as well as he knew his own name, she could kick his ass.
And besides that, damn, that Chanel No. 5 shit had not been cheap, not even a little.
"Beth, Baby, I told ya it was probably from Merle's hook-up, she give me a big ol' nasty hug. I told her ta save that shit for Merle," he was feeling guilty even though he knew he hadn't done anything wrong.
"Do you know the crap I put up with from you Daryl? You drag me out here to live in the woods, smack dab in the middle of nowhere," she began.
"Wait Baby, you told me ya like it here," damn had she lied?
"Well I do, but that was just lucky for me. Then there's the smoking in the house, the dead animals on the porch, your underwear on the bathroom floor and your apparent aversion to regular showering," oh she was on a roll.
"Well let's make this simple girl, is there anythin' about me ya do like?" now he was gonna get into it with her real serious, maybe.
"I don't know, I'm trying to think of something," she wasn't backing down.
"You snarl, you always seem half pissed off, I don't think there's a shirt left in your closet you haven't torn the sleeves off of, you eat food straight out of of the jar, you never want to hang out with my friends, you wear the same holey pants for a week, your hair has gotten ridiculously long - I don't even know how you can see through it, and you make more messes than a two year old, I'm constantly cleaning up after you!"
And that's when he did it, he interrupted her and said the worst thing a man can say to a pissed off woman, he'd tied his own noose, he may as well just shoot himself now, in fact he was praying the earth would just open up and swallow him because, well he'd asked her, "What the hell, ya on yer period or sumthin'?"
As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew he couldn't grab them back, and he could swear he saw fire comin' out of her eyes and steam comin' out of her ears.
"I'm out of here Daryl, it's NOT been nice knowing you!" and she grabbed her purse and her cellphone and she was out the door and jumping in her ancient Chrysler LA Baron.
He figured she'd calm down and call him later, but it'd been hours and he hadn't heard a thing.
Merle stopped by in his usual loud, gregarious mood and he told him what he asked her. "Ah fuck Baby Brother, ya want me ta just kill ya? Or maybe you could hop a freight n get the hell outta town." And then he laughed so hard he nearly hit the ground. He's a dumbass.
"Shut up Merle, I gotta figure out how ta make this right, yer girlfriend last night got me in a world a trouble."
"My girlfriend last night? What did Suzy have ta do with this?" Merle grinned.
"Her name was Cindy dumbass, she was hangin' all over ya, then she give me that big hug an left her perfume smell on me. Now Beth thinks I done her wrong. She jumped all over me, chewed my ass up one side an down the other. That's when I said it, an then she stormed out that door an I ain't seen or heard from her in hours," Daryl was getting a little panicky.
"Ya see there little brother? That's why I never wanted a regular woman, way too complicated for ol' Merle."
After Merle left Daryl busied himself around the place. He cleaned, he did laundry, and then he even showered and made a valiant effort to give himself a haircut.
He walked to a little clearing in the woods, picked a bouquet of wildflowers and put them in a jar on the kitchen table. He cooked up a rabbit stew.
Then he called her. When she answered the phone he wasn't too proud to beg, "Baby please come home, ya got me all kinds a heartbroke. I know I'm a stupid sumbitch n I make yer life fuckin' miserable, but just give me one more chance." All he heard on the other end was her cryin' and then the phone went dead.
About 20 minutes later, when he'd given up hope, he heard her car pull up in the driveway. He went to the door and opened it just about the time she got to the porch.
"Daryl, what did you do to your hair?! You cut off all your nice hair!" she seemed upset.
"Beth, Baby, I thought you didn't like my hair in my eyes, I's just tryin' ta make ya happy," okay, now he knew for sure, he couldn't do anything right.
"Oh Daryl, I just don't know what to do, I couldn't take it if you left me for another woman," and she burst into hysterical crying. Okay now he was gettin' worried, she'd lost her goddamn mind for sure, what had happened to his sweet, sweet Beth?
"Beth, Baby, ya know yer the only woman for me, no one before, and no one else ever. I love ya, I ain't ever gonna love anyone else. I'ma love ya the rest a my life. What can I do ta prove it to ya?" he didn't know what else to say.
"Oh Daryl I was so mean to you, and you've showered, and you cut your hair, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, but I really don't want you to change. I fell in love with Daryl Dixon, I love you just the way you are," and she was sobbing.
"What the hell's wrong Beth? Please just tell me what's wrong, let me make it right," he was at a loss.
"Oh Daryl, you helped make it what it is, I'm not having my period Daryl, I'm pregnant."
And that's when he fainted.
A/N Poor Daryl, this is gonna be a rough nine months! Thank you for reading please review.