Obscurité

Sometimes darkness is all we have. It's the only thing that will ever love us for the monstrosities we become. Lost is all we are capable of being. Obscurité.

Chapter 1

'I've been alone pretty much all of my life. At least, since I landed on Earth. No, I'm not an alien. I'm more powerful than that. At least, that's what my aunts keep telling me. They have been at my side since my mom...died. I was eight.

Since that day, darkness clouded my world. I hide myself from anyone trying to get close to me. I don't why I do it. I always do that ever since….never mind. It's not worth mentioning. Darkness is all I have let myself know.'

"Earth to Abbey!"

"Huh. What? Sorry, Alex. I was..um.."

"Distracted. I can tell. What were you writing?" She motioned to the opened book in front of me.

"Uh..it's nothing," I said quickly closing my journal.

"Oh..ok. Are we still on tonight?"

"Yeah. Why would I cancel?"

"Because you always do. You hate social interaction. It's like your Oliver Queen."

"First of all, no I don't. Second, it's Bateman that's the reclusive one."

"Whatever, nerd. Are you coming or not? I really need a wing woman," she sputtered desperately. I looked at my phone to avoid eye contact.

"Yes, I'm coming." She got up to put her backpack on.

"Yay! You won't regret it," she said as she placed her lime green earbuds in her ears. She kissed me on the cheek.

"I always do," I whispered as she left.

'Why do I let her talk me into these types of things. I prefer to stay in my apartment and listen to music. Plus, I would rather write my twenty page Literature paper then go to a stupid party. She knows I can barely stand her, let alone 20 or more strangers packed in a room like sardines. On the bright side, there gonna be plenty of alcohol to help distract me.

I mean I know she's my best friend and knows my secret but, I'd rather be watching The 100 with her and hear her obsess how Clarke should be with Bellamy. Even though, she should totally be with Lexa but, whatever. Oops, does that count as spoilers? Sorry. It's just I haven't had a best friend before Alex. I know that sounds sad but, it's the unfortunate truth. I was always scared to share my secret with her but, one night she came crying to me about her girlfriend dumping her and it just kind of came out. She's like family to me now so, it should have not been that big of a deal but, I made it one. I was telling her my entire life history. And to my surprise, she was completely accepting. It was like coming out to your family. It scared the living hell out of me.'

I put my earbuds in my ears and hit shuffle on my phone. "Judas" by Banks begins to play. It's odd how the song follows my life, or lives, so well.

"I guess I better go get ready for hell….I mean this stupid ass party," I said to myself aggravated. I so wish Alex could do this without me.

-We arrive at the frat house. Alex looks at me with this odd look on her face.

"Whats wrong?"

"I am just surprised to came with me instead of making up some lame excuse about needing to write a literature paper. Especially, when you already have done that same paper ten times over," she remarked.

"Excuse me for wanting to be a good little student."

"Uh huh. Good. Sure."

"What? I can be good." I said that to reassure myself more than Alex.

"Sure you can.?

"Why are you being weird tonight?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's time you let more than just me into your life. I mean, god Abbey, you could die at any moment." She laughed.

"I can't, remember."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. You know what mean. Put yourself out there. Don't be reclusive tonight."

"Ok! Can we just go inside instead of bickering like an old married couple?"

"Yeah." She linked my arm with hers.

"Ugh. I hate this."

"No, you don't." I did. It was too girly for me.

I sat on the couch downstairs while Alex perused through the frat boys like they were an all you can eat buffet. God, she was so bad at this. I opened my journal.

'N'ayez pas peur de l'amour. It's a saying my mom used to say to me before sleep. Its one of the few memories of hers that don't make me feel like a monstrosity. If another person knew, they wouldn't only see the monster inside me and not me. Love has always been another subject I can't face. The people that I love or care about always get lost in translation or dead. Alex is the only one that hasn't experienced that...yet.'

"What are you writing?" a voice beside me asked. I looked over and God, was she beautiful.

"Déesse," was all I muttered.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"Um...nothing."

"Ok. I'm Sara."

"I'm sorry. Will you excuse me for a moment?" She nodded. I fled outside. The night was the only calming thing right now. Unfortunately, Alex followed.

"Hey, weirdo. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't look it. I haven't seen you run like that in like ever."

I stood there in silence.

"Was it that girl?"

"No!" I yelled.

"Uh huh. Stop being so hostile."

"I'm not being hostile." Yeah I was. I was scared to admit what had just happened because this type of stuff doesn't happen to me. I huffed.

"Ok. Alex don't make fun of me.." She crossed her fingers."I just lost it. She was so beautiful and my train of thought crashed into the mountain of ice cream."

"And I'm the one obsessed with Sharkboy and Lavagirl." She chuckled."Sorry. Not helping."

"All I managed to say was déesse."

"You called her beautiful in a language she may not know then, you bolted. Abs, just calm down. You isolated yourself for so long you didn't know how to respond to someone other than me speaking to you. I say go try talking to her before you make the ultimate decision to cast yourself into the pit of forever alone."

"That's not a real thing."

"I'm sorry. I'm not a fictional being told in mythological Greece. Just try it."

Don't give in. Don't give in. Don't give in.

"Ok. I'll try. I'm gonna go talk to her."

I walked back inside as collected as I could be. There she was, so beautiful, still sitting on that musty, old couch.

"Sorry about earlier," I said as I slowly sat down.

"It's fine. I was just being hit on by a guy who clearly needs to brush his teeth."

"Was it Eric?" She nodded. "Yeah he hasn't done that in like forever."

She laughed.

"You have a beautiful smile. My name is Abbey."

"Nice to meet you Abbey," she said as she offered her hand.

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"It's kind of loud in here. Would you like to take a walk with me?"

She hesitated.

"Yeah. I would like that."