This is my answer to the Ao3 Smut Challenge.
A/N: Ranger's internal thoughts in Italic.
Tossing my pen on the pile of papers that covers my deck, I lean back in my chair and kick my feet up on the desk. I stretch and yawn, before closing my eyes. I don't need to look at a clock to know it is late. Must be past midnight. How long have I been sitting in this chair dealing with this paperwork? Fuck it. I'll make Tank finish it tomorrow. I need to get some sleep. I could feel myself already starting to drift asleep, when I could have sworn I heard a sound. No, a voice. Yelling. No, couldn't be. Yelling, "Love rocket!" I must be tired. I've been putting in too many hours working, and not working hard enough to get Steph out of Morelli's bed and into mine. Maybe I'll drive by, and if his truck is not in the parking lot...Hm...I can feel her...
"Love box!"
Her love box? What? Shaking away my confusing sleepy thoughts, I gather my things. Deciding that maybe, no definitely, I need to get some sleep. That's when I heard the worst one yet, and I was sure I was not dreaming this time.
"Angle the dangle!"
What the hell is going on? Is that Lester?
"Oh yeah? Well, I'll butter your biscuit!"
What the fuck! Babe? I jump up and head down the hall toward the break room.
"You are not putting 1000 Island dressing on?" I could hear Babe protest.
"You know how I like it moist. Here taste it. Fresh from creamery." I heard Les chuckle.
"Gross. Just get your pecker out of my..."
That son of a bitch! I'll kill him! I draw my gun and turn the corner to find...
Stephanie, Lester, and Hector sitting around the small break table playing a board game.
I think I am still sleeping. That's got to be it. Maybe if I slap myself...
"Why did you just slap yourself?" Steph got up and gently rubbed my cheek before placing a soft kiss on it.
"Taint!" Lester shouted with joy.
Remembering my gun in my hand, I aimed at him, while grabbing Steph around the waist and pulling her to my side.
"What the hell, cuz! Put that thing away!" Les threw up his hands in surrender.
"Mierda Santa! ¿Qué hiciste esta vez, Les?" Hector shouted.
("Holy shit! What did you do this time, Les?)
"Nothing! I swear!"
"Ranger." Steph said gently, trying to calm me. When I didn't lower my weapon, she wrapped her arms around my waist and whispered in my ear. "Carlos." That's all it took. I love when she says my name.
"Instead of shooting, Les, maybe you could beat him to death on the mats tomorrow? Say, 28 hundred hours or something?" I couldn't help but smile. I holstered my weapon, pulled her tight, and kissed her.
"Hey!" Les grumbled.
The kiss was hot and full of passion as it is every time our lips meet. I let my hands slide down her waist to caress her ass, before backing her to the wall. When my hands moved to the button on her jeans, I heard Hector.
"¡Dios mío!"
"Shhh!" Lester punched Hector on the arm. "They were just getting to the good stuff!"
How could I forget they were here? I moved my hands to her waist, and rested my head against hers. I could tell by the way she was still trying to catch her breath, she forgot they were here too. When she opened her beautiful blue eyes and looked into mine, I smiled at her. She gave me a wicked smile back, before taking my lips again. That surprised me. Usually, I poach a heated kiss or two by catching her off guard, but this...
"What about Morelli?" I asked around the kiss. Shut up you idiot!
"Gone." She pulled me tighter and deepened the kiss.
Gone? What did that mean? Why didn't I know they broke up again? I was just about to pull away and ask, when she put a hand on my chest and gently pushed me away.
" Let's take this to seven." She mumbled breathing hard.
She grabbed my hand and led me out of the break room, and any questions I ever had were quickly forgotten. The last thing I heard before the elevator doors shut, was Les shouting after us.
"Wait! All I have to do is land on ejaculatory scream, and sploosh, I win! You can't leave now!"
We had to use certain words in a smut challenge.
Hope you liked it and thanks for reading!