Early Sunsets over Monroeville
An original Gerard Way SLASH Ray Toro story. Has been posted several times under different names but the work is mine. Warning; contains homosexual themes and language not suitable for minors.
"The sunsets used to be so pretty around here, before the drunkenness, before the fights, before the never ending parade of girls. We used to be best friends, we used to have so much fun, we used to be so close, and I loved that you. Now, we have been stripped of all that. Your ego got in the way and so did the fame. It went straight to your head, and now there is nothing but a self-righteous point of view left. No more wisdom, no more kindness, no more understanding. There's nothing left for me here. I can't love the new you, so if the old you ever comes back, you know where to find me."
The pen left the page and silent tears fell down colorless cheeks. A pale hand snaked up to brush the invading wetness away. Gerard mused over whether or not Ray deserved this kind of exit. He sighed and lent his head on the desk in front of him. He was sitting in the apartment he shared with Ray and Mikey, but no longer felt like this place was home. The stark white walls and the beige carpets had lost the luster they once had and even his bedroom, his sanctuary had lost its brightness. Nothing short of Ray returning to his senses could make things change back. There was simply no way to do this. No, he wasn't going to kill himself, but he might just scare Ray into realizing what he had been doing to him.
Gerard slipped into Ray's room and pinned it to the message board on the back of the door before grabbing his jacket, wallet and phone, and exiting the bland apartment. He moved with a depressing sterility, descending the stairs from the third floor to the bottom. He nodded a brief acknowledgment to the doorman and emerged onto the busy street. He slipped on the jacket and pulled the hood up over his eyes, his face cloaked from brief glances from passers-by. He felt dejected; a long and narrow loneliness awaited him. He stopped at a nearby coffee house for a take-away coffee, thick and black, before heading out to the river.
After a few minutes, and a third of his coffee, he found the path by the edge of the river. It twisted and winded its way along the river for a mile or so before sharply bending into the nearby forest. Gerard trudged along, listening to the calls of the different birds and autumn animals, all going about their business, oblivious of his existence. Gerard smiled slightly to himself at the thought. It was never just about one person, one thing was it? He arrived shortly at a small clearing in the forest, a large boulder sat in the center, overshadowing everything around it. Gerard climbed it exactly the way he always had, the way he and the guys always had.
It seemed so long ago that they had spent all those summers running around in the forest, being complete idiots. He remembered the first summer his best friend at the time, Ryan, had convinced him to go camping. The spent the night telling ghost stories around a torch, a lighter and a bag of marshmallows, then couldn't sleep because of the marshmallow induced sugar highs and the night noises that had them scared. Gerard laughed quietly at the memory and continued climbing the mountain of rock. When he reached the summit, he lit a cigarette and sat, watching the nature around him.
The girl, whose name he couldn't remember, had him pinned up against the door as he tried in vain to get the key in the door. He hoped Gerard wasn't home, he hated seeing this. Ray moaned into the kiss as the nameless girl bit hard on his lip, drawing blood from the soft skin. It reminded him of Gerard's kisses. Ray turned away from the girl to get the key into the door properly, shaking his head at himself, his thoughts slightly deterring him from the job at hand. The door opened and banged against the wall as he pushed the girl inside and attacked her lips again, moving the two of them quickly in the direction of his bedroom.
Ray's eyes wandered to Gerard's door, wondering if his friend was home or not. Ray sighed, broken memories of fights and drunken one night stands filling his head. He wasn't sure if Gerard was even going to want to be his friend anymore, let alone what Ray really wanted. He doubted he deserved it, doubted himself, because Gerard deserved better then him, this drunken, pride filled mess of a man. Gerard had always been there for him, and when Gerard started having problems Ray didn't know what to do.
Ray turned his attention to the girl in front of him, noticing they were both without clothes now. His mind repulsed at what he was about to do, wishing so hard he had never started this violent course of self destruction, wishing so hard he had said something, did something to make Gee understand just how much he meant to him. Ray sighed and resigned himself to a life of suffering, his mind reeling at the amount of damage he had done, and was still inflicting.
There was something different though. Ray pushed the girl off him and replaced his boxers, walking to his message board. There was a new note stuck there, he picked it off and opened it, instantly recognizing the handwriting. Gerard had been here, been in here, in this sickening place. Ray read over the note, his hand trembling unbearably, tears streaking his face. He bent to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, the girl dressing and leaving with an ugly sneer of disgust on her face, and Ray couldn't care less.
"The sunsets used to be so pretty around here, before the drunkenness, before the fights, before the never ending parade of girls. We used to be best friends, we used to have so much fun, we used to be so close, and I loved that you. Now, we have been stripped of all that. Your ego got in the way and so did the fame. It went straight to your head, and now there is nothing but a self-righteous point of view left. No more wisdom, no more kindness, no more understanding. There's nothing left for me here. I can't love the new you, so if the old you ever comes back, you know where to find me."