"down here you've already got everything you need; food, drinks, friends… is getting back up to the surface really worth it?"
Frisk looks away. They know- and they would very much rather staying Underground than going back up. But… it wouldn't be right to condemn the entire monster race just because of their own selfish wants.
They smile at Sans, and don't say a word.
He looks back at them, his smile a permanent comforting fixture on his face.
.
Asgore is killed, and Flowey tortures them in a series of reloads - they spare the flower monster and go back.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
But nothing changes.
So they keep going until all they can do is just give up and at that same time, something inside of them snaps - the mental voice that has been narrating their journey and giving them tips - that same mental voice in them just snaps.
And Frisk hides back while Chara wakes up and takes control; hellbent on wrecking destruction on everyone and everything that has broken Frisk's HOPE.
Their EXP and LOVE rise rise rise and so does their ATK. Chara trains DEF into their body - shared with Frisk - even though Frisk doesn't really like it. They'd rather just take the pain head-on (like what Undyne says…. like what Undyne told them, once upon a time). Chara huffs and sighs in exasperation at Frisk's distinctive lack of self-preservation. Their GOLD rises too, even though there's no need for it; Chara has (had?) always been a hoarder. Chara's HP fluctuates but Frisk's HP remains stagnant - it seems to be the lone unchanging thing in the madness.
They kill Toriel in the Ruins for turning Frisk away whenever they wish to come back.
Frisk screams.
Chara hushes them with haunting lullabies and promises of justice.
Chara heads to Snowdin and finds things different from past runs already. Snowdin is empty. Papyrus gets beheaded with a hard enough hit with their Toy Knife (its not a Real Knife but it will do). Chara feels guilt and despair over it; though not as much as Frisk does. They enter the hidden room behind the waterfall in Waterfall; and Frisk screams. Chara doesn't stop it.
Monster Kid is someone they both wish they didn't have to kill. (Wish and wish and wish and wish but wishes never come true.) Chara rationalises it as how stupid MK is for running out when there's a genocidal maniac on the run (re: them), but they know better. They and Frisk. Both know better.
Undyne is downright painful to kill and it rattles their SOUL when she says that they're not just in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams, but crushing them to pieces with every swipe of their knife. She'd always been so nice to Frisk after they became friends; CHARA DIDN'T WANT TO KILL THEM. But… But… they would. They HAD to. Sans would have to feel the painful isolation that had crushed Frisk. Sans would; and the only way to do that was by killing everyone.
The only way…
Ha. A joke if Chara ever heard one. (But demons don't deserve such kindness; they only deserve to die.)
Frisk screams and cries and rages and breaks stuff in Alphys's lab. Chara vaguely notes that Alphys doesn't come out to meet them and that hurts.
Muffet is murdered smoothly and swiftly. The spiders edge closer to swarm them but the crazed glint in Chara-Frisk's eyes keeps them away. They simply leave behind a flower where Muffet died before scuttling away.
Mettaton is taken apart slowly and carefully. Frisk stares at his broken body. Chara reasons that he'd never been more than a stuck up in the rest of their runs. Frisk whispers back that he was Alphys's most prized possession and Papyrus's idol.
Chara freezes, then apologises frantically. They apologise for killing everyone, finally drawn out of their blood-crazed anger - however righteous.
Frisk screams again, then cries, then sobs, then… they just lie there, not doing anything.
Chara is the one that coaxes them out.
After much discussion, they reach out for the RESET button together when Frisk quietly suggests that they at least apologise to Sans.
They enter the Judgement Hall and there's Sans. Sans is there! They hadn't seen him since… since… since Papyrus's death…
Frisk feels like their heart is stuck in their throat as they walk forward. Chara - now a ghost solely visible to Frisk's eyes - grasps their hand in support. Frisk squeezes back.
"do you think that even the worst person can change?"
Hope rises slowly, filling up Frisk, and it feels like their heart is in the right place once more. They subtly glance towards Chara and there's a similar expression on their faces.
"well here's a better question."
Frisk looks at him questioningly. Chara shuffles their feet nervously.
"do you want to have a bad time?"
And with that, Chara's thrown back into Frisk's body and they're both thrown into a battle.
"its a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming. and on days like these, kids like you…"
Frisk feels a sense of deja vu back to Asgore's opening speech, but they have a distinct feeling that Sans's next words wouldn't be as kind.
"should be burning in hell."
.
It takes tries and tries and tries; Sans doesn't listen to their offers of Mercy, and when he does offer Mercy and they take it eagerly, he stabs them in the back - literally, with bones.
Finally, it takes Chara going back for their Worn Dagger (aka Real Knife) and The Locket (aka Heart Locket) and the combined power of Frisk AND Chara to take down Sans.
"papyrus… you want anything?"
And Frisk breaks.
Chara lets them retreat to the back of their mind and stands up robotically, brushing the remains of Sans's dust into the bottle they've kept to keep his dust, then thinks twice and mixes it together with Papyrus's. They hope the two skelebros will appreciate the sentiment. (Like Alphys would appreciate Undyne's dust and Mettaton's parts.)
So they continue on into the Throne Room. (Asgore is cut down, almost in a dreamlike state. Flowey appears, but at this point, he's only in the way. They get to the surface again and try to live a little, but the weight of their sins is crushing on them, so they just reach out and RESET.)
.
Sans watches the anomaly come out of the Ruins, finds no sign of dust, but still watches.
The little fucker, thinking they could murder everyone again and again? Well, they would have a bad time.
.
Frisk feels their SOUL get pulled into a battle, and barely get a chance to blink before getting dunked on.
Chara swears and curses as they recognise Sans's attack from the last run.
.
Sans does it again and again and again. The three of them all lose track.
After a few (about thirty-seven?) more LOADs, Frisk just gives up coming out of the Ruins altogether.
Sans feels a certain sense of satisfaction.
.
It takes another twenty-four LOADs before Frisk dares to take a peek out of the Ruins, and another eleven from there for them to actually step out of the RUINS and continue their journey.
Chara curses at Sans every step of the way.
.
Their journey goes on and everyone sticks to script until they reach Waterfall.
They only see Undyne once, at the beginning, where the only things she do is drag their soul into a battle, then flee. They stand there in shock for a few moments, before MK comes along and pushes (pulls? drags?) them on.
It confuses both Chara and Frisk until she appears later on, defenceless, and sits next to them in the room with fake stars and the King's Castle in the difference. The two (three?) sit in silence until Undyne suddenly speaks up.
"You feeling okay punk?" She asks and they look at her questioningly because why wouldn't they?
(Its a lie, its a lie, they know exactly what's wrong, kids - demons - like them should be burning burning burning in hell.)
"Of course," Frisk replies, voice dry from disuse. Chara grasps their hand in comfort.
"Are you sure?" Undyne asks again and they nod a yes.
They turn back up to look at the (fake fake fake) stars and they can feel Undyne's gaze on them, like she's looking for something she just can't find.
They don't fight Undyne and Undyne doesn't fight them that run.
.
Alphys continues to accompany them through their journey in the Hotlands using their Cell Phone.
Undyne meets them at MTT Resort instead of Sans. It leaves an ache in their heart, but its Undyne, so Frisk plasters on a wide grin they hope Undyne will like, and lets Undyne treat them.
If there's going to be another serious talk, they're not quite sure they'll last so long.
Chara grips their hand tighter.
.
"You're not gonna fight Asgore," Undyne tells them.
They blink. "But-"
"No buts. You're gonna stay down here Underground. No fighting Asgore. You're going to stay right here in the Underground, with me once my house is fixed so we're crashing with Papyrus and Sans for now."
And Undyne says it with so much conviction that they almost let go of their goal and just go with her for now, it breaks their heart but-
"No."
"What?"
"No. I… I have to…"
"Well," Undyne's visible eye gained a dangerous glint in it. "Good think I'm not listening to you then!"
Before they can blink, they've been picked up by Undyne and brought to the River Person, to whom Undyne gives specific instructions to go straight to Snowdin.
Being bundled up like that with Undyne, it feels them with determination for the first time in a long while. Chara grins at Frisk and embraces them. Making sure that Undyne isn't watching, Frisk hugs back.
.
"what is… that kid doing here?" Sans all but growls, and his perpetual smile that used to be so comforting is suddenly very very chilling to Frisk.
"They're with me," Undyne says with an almost dangerous carefree air.
Sans darkens his eye sockets threateningly but Papyrus bursts into the room.
"HUMAN! HOW NICE OF YOU TO VISIT AGAIN!"
Sans's eye sockets have returned back to normal, but the heaviness in the air is still there.
.
"Punk, we really really need to talk," Undyne tells Frisk once Sans and Papyrus leave the room, arguing.
Frisk looks up innocently. "What do you mean?"
"I think you know what I mean, Frisk."
And Frisk freezes because they're pretty sure that they didn't tell anyone their name this timeline so that only leaves one solution.
Undyne remembers timelines.
And Frisk screams again like Chara's just killed Undyne again because ITS TOO PAINFUL. What if Undyne hates them now? Why's she still being so nice? What if? Why? Why? Why?!
And they feel three pairs of arms around them, one slightly damp, one boney and one almost but not quite passing through them.
"Shh…. Its okay punk… You're with us, me and Papyrus, okay?"
Oh so Papyrus must have reentered the room.
"UNDYNE IS RIGHT HUMAN, YOU'RE HERE, WITH US."
"Come on," Chara whispers. "Its okay, its okay, everything's going to be okay. Just focus on our voices, okay? Undyne and Papyrus are so worried about you."
"Don't deserve it," Frisk forces out brokenly. "Don't deserve this kindness. Deserve hate. Why don't you hate me Undyne? You know what happened, don't you? Why don't you hate me?"
"H-hey…. Hate is kinda a strong word there. I don't hate you because there's nothing to hate," Undyne replies shakily.
"But…"
"NO BUTS," Papyrus tells them.
"No, really… I don't deserve this… I don't deserve it… I don't deserve any of this…" Frisk breath catches, and they start clawing at themselves and their arms.
"No Frisk, no!" Undyne scrambles to hold their hands.
"Calm down Frisk… calm down… take a deep breath, and focus on Undyne, okay? Calm down…" Chara coos and Frisk finally relaxes.
"Can't…"
"Can Frisky."
.
"Hey punk…" Undyne whispers best she can, rubbing one of her hands on Frisk's back, the other hugging the child closer to her.
They whine and lean into the contact and a small smile graces her face.
"Pap is out, and I just wanted to ask you one thing…"
Frisk freezes.
"Its kinda cruel to ask this now but…"
Frisk whimpers. They know The Question is coming.
"Why's your HP so low?"
Frisk looks up, very much startled and not expecting that question. What happened to The Question? "What do you mean?"
"Look at your stats…"
Confused, Frisk pulls that up.
FRISK
LV 1
HP 2/2
ATK 10
DEF 1
They look at it in confusion. Isn't their base HP supposed to be at 20? And their DEF at 10 too?
"Yeah… That's what I wanted to talk to you about…"
Frisk looks up.
"Frisk… when did you lose HOPE?"
Frisk blinks and looks at Undyne owlishly. They don't think they've been losing hope…
"Oh damnit," Undyne curses. "HOPE, HP for short and stands for Handling Of Personal Emotions. Basically, your HOPE or HP drops when you've lost control of your emotions. By that, it doesn't mean a breakdown, or everyone's HOPE would be that low, I assure you. There's some strange mechanism behind that, but scientists theorise that it drops when there's a lack of determination…"
Frisk freezes because they lost determination? Wouldn't they have noticed that? They feel just as determined as not too long before though, so did they actually lose any of it? What if they lose so much determination that they…
They realise something.
With the amount of determination that they have, they don't feel very determined.
And perhaps, that breaks what's left of their determination even more.
.
They don't realise that they haven't been moving or hearing anything until Undyne finally shakes them out of their stupor.
"You okay there kid?"
Frisk nods, not trusting themselves to speak, then thinks twice about it. "Why don't you hate me?"
Undyne blinks. "I thought we were over this. Hate is too strong of a word, and I don't hate you."
"But I murdered you and everyone else."
"Yeah, you did. But it wasn't really you, was it?"
It was Frisk's turn to look confused. "How did you know?"
"Eye colour. It was red last round, but normally its brown."
And brown eyes turns red.
"Like this?" Chara asks in Frisk's body, Frisk but a ghost beside them.
And they're pinned down by spears.
"Ouch! I'm sorry!"
"Who are you?" Undyne growls. "Where's Frisk? What have you done to them?"
"I'm… Chara," Chara says and glares at Frisk, or to Undyne, at nothing. "And Frisk is a ghost beside me now, even though I'm normally the ghost. And they're forcing me to be kept here so I can explain myself."
Undyne looks on skeptically. "Let's say I believe you. Explain."
Chara does, and explains everything in a detached lifeless manner, they hate themselves for what they did to Frisk's emotional state that run, and talking about it just makes it real, makes it worse.
Undyne takes some time to ponder over it. "…Fair enough. I suppose there are worse reasons for committing much genocide. Though really. Can Frisk come out anytime soon?"
Red eyes turn back to brown and the spears fade away.
And Frisk smiles at Undyne, Chara does too, and at that moment, they both hope, that maybe everything will be alright.
Word Count: 2619 words
(A/N: I made DEF stand for Decisive Evasion of Fighting, which I hope explains why Frisk's DEF is so low; because they refuse to evade attacks and face them head on because they think they deserve the pain. -Summer)