The smell of nicotine, scotch and Yves Saint Laurents cologne filled your nose as you took in a deep breath, fading back in consciousness from a deep sleep. Quickly, you noticed the sharp contrast between the cold sheets and the warm chest your head was lying on. Dim summer light filled the room as your eyes fluttered open; immediately you regretted that decision as your head began to ache with the residual effects of too much alcohol.

Without a second thought, you closed your eyes again and nuzzled closer to the warm chest your head rested on; your hand splayed out on his lower abdomen moving ever so slightly in back and forth motion. A heavy sigh of contentment escaped from his chest as he drifted back into reality. The plates in his metal warm whirled as he pulled you tighter to his chest before his right arm came across his body to lay on your hip, locking you in a comforting grip of strong and safe arms. Taking in a deep breath you realized this was the first time in a very long time that you felt safe and content. With that feeling of euphoria you found yourself smiling and nuzzling even closer to his chest.

"Good morning, doll." He said softly before kissing the top of my head.

"Mmm," was all you could manage as a response.

He laughed softly, "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Groggy, but happy."

His left hand began to softly trace shapes on your back, slowly he drew what felt like circles with his fingertips. You felt yourself lulling slowly back to sleep. He kissed the top of your head again.

"Rest, doll." He whispered softly into your hair.

With no hesitation, you did as you were instructed. Breathing him in deeply once more you found yourself drifting into a dreamless and peaceful sleep.

For nearly four years your nights had been riddled with sleepless nights, tossing and turning for fear of what was to come, and on those rare nights you slept, the nightmares would creep in filling your sleep with terror, only to bleed into the following day. But not last night; you avoided thinking about the fact that your head was currently lying on the chest of your best friend and focused more so on the fact that you had truly slept for the first time in ages. These consequences would come back to haunt you eventually, but for now – you were going to enjoy the feeling of safety and comfort.

A short while later you woke up to just the cold empty sheets, fear instantly consumed you remembering the countless mornings waking up alone after a terrible night following orders; only to end up cuffed to the bed crying yourself to sleep. You never wanted to live like that again, but this was different. This wasn't fear of what was to come when the bedroom door opened again, it was fear of abandonment and fear that you had destroyed the relationship you had built with your best friend. Sitting up in bed you looked around and noticed his phone still sitting on the bedside table – meaning, somewhere Bucky was around this house. Fearing that your anxiety would take over, you took comfort in knowing his essential items were right next to you and rolled over to close your eyes and get a grip back on reality.

Your breathing was labored as you tried to regain your composure; you focused on breathing in five counts.

In…1…2..3..4..5

Out…1..2..3..4..5

Over and over until the feeling of an elephant on your chest was subsiding. What seemed like just a few minutes after your breathing was under control you heard the door handle click as it shut. Turning your head, you smiled as you were greeted by Bucky and two cups of coffee.

He smiled as he walked towards you; your favorite coffee cup stretched out towards you.

Sitting up, you took the cup from him. "Bucky, you are a woman's hero." You said taking a sip of the hot coffee.

He laughed, "Not quiet; more like antihero."

You rolled your eyes with a smile. "Idiot."

"Ah, yes- but that is why I am you're best friend."

"One of the many reasons, yes." You laughed.

Bucky set his coffee cup on the bedside table and crawled back into bed, as if this was the most normal thing ever. After he situated himself in an upright position you curled up against his side, legs stretched over his with coffee cup in hand. The blankets were pulled up around us, with the excess piled in your lap. You looked down at the coffee with a heavy heart; Bucky and you had only been friends for about a year– but it was the kind of effortless friendship that most people dream of. We joked and laughed from the moment we met as if we had known each other all our lives.

Bucky held his coffee cup in his right hand as his left came to settle on your wrist, bringing you back to reality and focusing your attention back on him. He looked at you knowingly and lovingly. Bucky was aware of what kind of past and that your usual night didn't include much sleep.

"You looked so peaceful, I couldn't wake you."

"I woke up and you were gone." You took a deep breath. "You scared me." You closed your eyes to let the rest of your thought out. "At first it was the fear, like I was back there," You opened your eyes to look at him. "I saw your phone sitting on my night stand and knew you weren't far. But then that fear turned into worry that I ruined this." You pointed between the two of you. "I can't lose this."

He smiled, "(Y/N), you could never lose this. You are a part of my life and I'm glad that you trust me enough to let me see this part of you."

You shook your head with a laugh, "Buck, I don't really remember leaving the bar last night, or really anything after our first round of shots."

"Well, after the second round of shots Steve and I were standing at the bar talking and you appeared. You clung to my side and just stayed there." He said with a smile. "We stayed for another round of shots, but then you looked sleepy, so I put you in a cab and made sure you got home." He paused to take a sip of his coffee. "When I went to leave you begged me to stay."

Smiling and shaking my head, you looked up at him. "That sounds like me."

Bucky smiled, "I didn't mind." He put his coffee cup on the bedside table. "(Y/N), you said something last night that we should talk about."

Your eyes widened in shock, a hundred and one topics flashed through your head.

"Last night, when you insisted on me staying, I tried to sleep on your couch- but you insisted on me staying in bed with you." Bucky looked at you trying to measure your response. "While you were cuddled into my side you told me that you loved me."

You sighed heavily, "Oh, I," you stammered, "Bucky I can't really explain that." You froze, there was no way to answer this without ruining everything.

"(Y/N), was it drunken babble?" He asked pointedly.

"No." You said looking down at the pile of blankets.

"Hey," Bucky said softly lifting your chin with his hand. "I love you, (Y/N). I've been in love with you since the day Nat brought you into the Avengers Tower."

You smiled at him; thinking back to those first introductions. "I'm kind of surprised Steve never told you."

He looked puzzled but smirked. "Steve knew?"

"When Steve and Nat walked me to my room that first day after meeting everyone, Steve asked me if there was anyone I felt comfortable being partnered with right off the bat."

"Oh." Bucky said as he began to put the pieces together.

"Before Steve and Nat made it very far from my door that day they made a bet that it would be less than 6 months before we were in love with each other." You paused turning to put the coffee in your hands on the table. "I can't tell you for certain that I love you, because I have never known love. I've only known the faked actions and portrayals of 'love' that I was taught in the Red Room." You looked back at Bucky to ensure he was hearing what you meant and not just the words coming out. "Bucky the only thing I know for certain is that you are the one I want to call when something happens – good or bad, you're the first person I think to tell. On bad days, the only thing that seems to sooth the pain, calm my tears or suppress my fears is you – your voice, your touch or even just your presence." Your eyes started to well up as you felt all the emotions you had been holding back for months. "Bucky you feel like home."

Bucky's eyes searched your own looking for the right words. Words failed even yourself as you realized you had just poured your heart out to Bucky in your bed. You weren't sure if it was your hang over or the immense amount of sleep you'd gotten that acted like a truth serum; but you were relieved that it was all out in the open.

"Buck," You said questioningly, the silence was deafening, "say something."

It was apparent that he had no words to express as his lips came crashing into your own. It was effortless passion as your arms wrapped around his neck. You were no stranger to were this was heading, but it was the first time you could recall it being your own choice and not part of a mission. You pushed that anxiety to the side and focused on what was there in front of you -the contrasting heat of Buckys right hand versus the cold vibranium in the other; the way his soft lips fit perfectly with yours and the way your bodies naturally molded together.

It was moments of passionate kissing that led to the rapid removal of what little clothing was there. Bucky deepened the kiss as you wrapped you leg around and dug your heel gentle into his lower back, almost as if you spurred him on. The vibranium plates whirled as his grip on your hip tighten, just enough pressure to drive you nuts, but not enough to hurt you – bruises would be noticeable tomorrow. Hands, tongues, and lips were all fighting for dominance. He pulled away taking a deep breath, his mouth moving to the crook of your neck and quickly found a sensitive spot; you couldn't help the moan that escaped. Pure ecstasy coursed through your body, Bucky continued his journey as his lips continued down your chest seemingly wasting no time at finding your sensitive nipple, his flesh hand softly kneading the other breast. You were on the edge of breaking; grinding against Bucky looking for any kind of friction to help ease your frustration.

You felt him smirk against your chest; you could tell from the hard length you ground against that he was just as ready as you were.

"Bucky," You moaned getting his attention, he looked up at you with hooded eyes filled with lust and desire.

"Doll,"

"I need you," You said in a breathy tone trying to keep your need and desire from dripping to heavily in your voice.

"I thought you'd never ask." He smirked.

You felt his large head at your entrance, one last look at each other – each looking for any kind of hesitate or regret in the other and with a kiss you felt filled to the brim, holding still for a moment, allowing your slick walls to adjust to his size he continued to kiss you deeply.

It was a brief moment before he began to rock – sliding in and out; each deep thrust back in hitting you in just the right spot. Desire pooled deep in your core as your walls began to tighten; the knot of passion, need and lust coiling tightly as your climax approached.

The feeling of your tightening walls seemed to egg Bucky on more; breaking the kiss his thrusts became harder and quicker each time still hitting that sweet spot driving you closer and closer – your hand tightened on his flesh bicep as you gripped harder at his left hip. All too quickly your walls began to flutter around his thick member.

"Doll, I can't hold it back." He warned as his lips grazed your jaw.

"Cum for me, Sergeant." You whispered in his ear.

As if your permission was all he needed with another deep thrust you felt his pulsating seed begin to fill you. Both of you moaned deeply before an almost primal glutted sound escape Bucky as he continued to rock into you; it only took a few more thrust as his mouth fell back to your neck before your walls tightened releasing your own climax with a deep moan of your own. His lips found yours once again as you both rode out your orgasmic bliss with slow rock that became motionless. He held you, placing soft, loving kisses along your jaw as he waited for your labored breath to settle.

You found yourself smiling as you slid your fingers through his hair – this was what you dreamed of -pure bliss, untainted by mission or guilt – nothing but love and passion. Bucky laid his head on your chest as you continued to ruin your fingers through his hair; it had always soothed him especially after a bad dream or tense mission. He slowly slid out of you as he settled between your hips both of you content in your positions. You hummed in content hoping to cling to this moment of peace for as long as possible.

"Y/N," Bucky said softly.

"Hmm," was all you could muster out.

"I love you." He said looking up at you.

A grin spread across your face, "I love you too, Buck."

He gripped your hand in his own flesh one; holding it firmly and pressing the warmth of your palm to his cheek.

A soft rap on of a knock on the door brought you both back to reality.

"Y/N," Nat called through the door, "I wanted to check on you, are you doing okay?" She continued as she opened the door.

Thankfully both of you were mostly covered either by blankets or in your case, by Bucky's body.

"Oh." She said with a surprise. "Good job, Barnes." She said with a wink and a smirk. "Check on you later, babes." She said turning on her heels to leave. "Rogers!" She yelled as she closed the door. "You lost, pay up!" You heard her yell as she padded down the hallway.

"It'll probably be better for everybody if we get up now." Bucky smiled, reluctant pull away from you.

You leaned forward to kiss him one last time as if it was the last time you'd hold him as your own secret. The moment the two of you stepped out of that bedroom door it would be jokes and laughs for everybody on the team for a solid two days. Part of you was upset by this, but you accepted that this was part of being in a crazy filled family.