I chose to love!
This day has been one crazy dream after another. I mean come on! Why do I have to have "happy family + sex dreams" about Stephen, of all people.
I know if this was about 3 years ago I would be jumping for joy. But back then we were together. And even though I love him still, I don't love him like that. I just don't! Because even though we are bad together I am in love with Damon.
I am and that's why even though these dreams are super hot and appealing, I just can't enjoy them. I can't enjoy having a family, a husband and a normal life, because it with the wrong man.
So here I am sitting in the Salvatore boarding house with Enzo and the man that should be in my dreams. I look at his face and I know this is bothering him, and it hurts me to known that him knowing I'm having these dreams is hurting him so much. I don't want to hurt Damon. I would really rather rip my own heart out myself before I hurt him.
I can vaguely hear Damon yell at Enzo for his comment after I'd broken my glass of bourbon from one of my most erotic daydreams.
It's hurting him. I can see it even if he tries to put it off with sarcasm. But it still does and because it hurts him it hurts me to. And I know I can't let this dictate my life anymore. I've been a sitting lamb for far too long I will not let the universe or some other doppelganger nonsense dictate my life any more.
"Damon enough! It's not Enzo's fault! It's not anyone's fault that I'm dreaming this but if I will be able to stop this I need you two to stop fighting and help me!" I yelled, the days events finally getting the best of me.
"Ok well how do you suppose we do that?" Damon asked sarcastically. "Last time you had dreams about my brothers they didn't stop until he was out and home safe. This time you'll probably have to sleep with him to make it stop. "
Everything went silent at that. And then I feel darkness consume me.
I knew this feeling. It was the same feeling I'd been havering all day with those daydreams. And sure enough I'm in my old family home, the sun is shining in at sunset and while our 2 kids are watching tv Stefan is looking at me like he wants to eat me.
And I get it, he thinks I'm his wife, but I'm not, nor will I ever be Stefan's wife.
But unlike other time I was sure that I wasn't his wife this time. I guess my resolve earlier payed off, I thought. So as Stefan can closer to me I held up my hand and stopped him. Ok this is good Elena now end it, I encouraged myself.
"Stefan stop, this isn't you. This isn't right." I told the dream Stefan. But he acted like he didn't understand me. So he kept coming closer and closer but I couldn't let him continue. So with all my strength and determination I pushed him away.
"Stop it Stefan! This isn't right! I don't love you and I'm sorry but I never will that way again. I love someone else and he is my one and only for the rest of time, which is good since he's a vampire.
"But my point Stefan is, as much as I love all this family dreaming. As much as I wish I could have these wonderful children. I know that I am not, ever, supposed to have them with you. Because in reality Stefan, I love Damon and I would give anything if those kids were his. I'm sorry but it will always be... Damon"
And that's when I came back to reality. I watched as my semi-fantasy slipped from my view and I was once again in the Salvatore boarding house. I look around and Damon has a shocked face and Enzo is grinning like the cat that caught the cannery. Than I look down and I find my hand had ripped 2 large holes in the soft leather sofa. "I'm sorry" I whisper as I will my hands to release the sofa pieces.
"Sorry for what? Ripping the sofa or turning the doppelganger dow?. " Enzo asked in his annoying ascent.
That's when I realized something had changed.
" What did I do?" I asked in a small voice.
"Is it true?"Damon asks. "Do you really rather have children and a life with me than Stefan, especially when you know he would be a better father?"
That's when I realized they had heard what I said to dream Stefan. At first I start to freak out but then I see that this is not a problem. It's a blessing. So I smile and nod my head yes. And then the most wonderful thing happens. Damon looks at me like we never even broke up and we are kissing like our first night in senior year.
In that moment I know with my entire being that everything will be ok, because no matter what life will throw at us, I know we will face if together.
...Elsewhere a shocked Stefan is pushed out of his daydream because his dream Elena didn't want him...