Chapter One

The first thing I saw and heard when I opened my eyes was crowds screaming my name and lights dancing on the walls. Admittedly, the feeling it rewarded me wasn't that bad, despite my utter confusion. I looked down and found the source of weight around my neck was thanks to my neck strap on my electric guitar, weighing down my body like shackles. I looked back out to the crowd, and taking their cheers as an invitation, I smiled, and waved my hand above my head. I wasn't tired, nor breathless, even though it seems I'd performed for them seconds before. It all seemed so … natural. Like I was supposed to be there, like it was the purpose of my life.

Then, I looked beside me, and that's when I saw her.

She had long, beautiful, turquoise pigtails that stretched all the way to her mid-back. Her smile was just as bright, though her body language wasn't as enthusiastic. The colors danced on her face, lighting up her already-bright blue eyes. She bit her lip, then turned to me before flashing the most breathtaking smile I'd ever seen flash across a girl's lips.

Then, the crowd began to cheer in unison, though not saying anything comprehensible. It grew louder and louder, and more and more excitement and energy pulsed through my veins.

And my eyes opened again, and I was in my bedroom, walls still dark and boring. I sat up, running my hand through my grungy green hair before using the other to silence my alarm. I sat there for a moment, unwilling to move. After a long moment of contemplation, I finally threw my legs over the side of my bed. I then stared into my empty closet, dragging my empty shell of a body close to the doors. I reached in and pulled my uniform from inside, then looked to my mirror. I didn't want to go, but maybe I could find Fukase long enough to tell him to meet at our meeting spot later today. I looked into the mirror, running my fingers through my messy bangs in an attempt to make them look average enough and not like a mop on my head, then smacked my lips before going downstairs and into the kitchen.

Like usual, no one was home but me. Not like I cared, it just meant I had to listen to some teachers bitch about how I was late again. I sighed, grabbing a banana from the counter before observing it. It was bruised and browning, but more yellow than the others. Shrugging it off, I headed to the door and out into the dawning yard, grabbing my bag with me as I left.

I didn't get along with the others at school. Everyone was annoying as hell, or mean as hell, or just hell in general. I got grades just good enough to pass me to the next grade, and that was due to, well, never wanting to show up, honestly. My only friend was a boy named Fukase, who lived a few houses down from me.

I was, what you could consider, an outcast: not anywhere close to fitting in, and no intention to fix that. And no, Fukase isn't my boyfriend. He's barely tolerable enough to be more than an acquaintance.

After about 45 minutes of walking, I finally made it to the campus grounds. You'd think, with me being in college for two years, I would be able to afford to drive, but that's out of the question. Owning cars is furthest from my mind; they're stressful to maintain and expensive to own, and vice versa. Ma and Pa were never home, so that added to the long list of reasons titled "Why Gumi Shouldn't Afford To Drive".

Despite that, walking isn't so bad. It reminds me of how horrid my life is.

I saw a flash of red flicker before my eyes, and my gait quickened. I trotted up to the owner of the flashy, red hair, and pulled on his shirt. "How dare you abandon me yesterday," I hissed playfully, and he turned to me. At first, there was a look of shock on his face. Then, it was melted away and replaced with amusement.

"Sorry, but not sorry. I had a date." He stuck his tongue out at me, grabbing me into a chokehold and ruffling my hair. I snorted, pulling away from his grip and glared up at him.

"I was so alone. What if I got caught?"

"That's your fault. The spot is yours, after all."

I sighed; that was a good point. I shook my head, pulling his arm. "One lecture, then come with me."

"I have three more after, I can't miss them," he retorted, then looked to the clock as we stepped inside. "Maybe after classes." I groaned, toying with my hair with my free hand. I then let my gaze flick to the other students. "My parents spent too much money for me to skip. That's what it's like coming from the other side of the region."

"Yeah, yeah, I get enough bitching and moaning about attendance from admins, I don't need it from you, too." He snickered, though he knew I was right. "Go on to your lectures then, I guess I'll go alone." I flashed him a pout, then moved on to the lecture behind the door beside me.

Normally, when you get to classes, people are quiet when you arrive, not saying a word; however, as I strode in, their anger of my disruption screamed through their glares. I simply nodded, then took a seat near the door. It was a long walk here, may as well make it worth it, I suppose.

After my lecture ended, I was ready to go back, despite not having paid any attention while there.

"So, Gumi," you may be thinking, "why are you in college if you won't take advantage of it?" Easy. I'm a genius, and they couldn't resist me being there. I made my way in with scholarships and student aid, but I never took advantage of what I was being given. I just, to put simply, didn't care.

Now was the part of my day where I take the strenuous walk home, abandoning three other classes I had that day. I pulled my bag lazily over my shoulder as I rose from my seat and slinked out the door. I then stepped to the hall, then outside, then the road that took me home. I sighed, brushing the hair that fell on my face from the wind, tucking green strands behind my ear. I changed roads to the quickest route home, sighing boredly.

After minutes of walking in silence, I dug my phone from my jacket pocket, then my earbuds from my uniform pocket. I plugged them into the device, then the buds in my ears. After selecting some music, I made my way down the trail, just a bit more content than before. Music was my way of life. It made it just a bit more bearable. It makes you forget about everything that could possibly be going wrong and try to make it right again with its beautiful, musical, reassuring arms.

I stepped in rhythm to the song's beat, closing my eyes as I snuck into the woods behind my neighborhood. I began imagining myself on the stage again, crowds around me cheering and crying my name loud enough for cities over to hear. The rush of adrenaline pumped through my veins, and I started to air-guitar to the song playing now. I was bobbing my head, spinning around, and looking like a complete fool, though no one would ever know.

I found my way to the old worn-down shed in the woods. These woods were actually strictly off-limits, but I didn't care about that. I haven't gotten hurt yet, so all's good, I suppose. I used the large, mossy rock beside the shed as a stool to climb on the tin roof, then I let my legs dangle over the side haphazardly. I smiled, looking around at the empty woodland around me. The shrubbery and music were the only company I ever needed. I sighed contently, closing my eyes, and lowered my head.

I wanted to be known. I wanted to make music, make people cry so loud their voices grow sore.

But that was just a dream.