She'd almost forgotten about the seasons.

The sky was grim, the trees were a fiery orange, and a chill wind blew through the little glen in the New Beijing Palace gardens. Cinder walked the secluded path with her hands in her pockets, hardly feeling the cold.

She was starved for birdsong, starved for the sight of trees, starved for the feel of tamped-down soil under her boots. So many little things had escaped her notice while she'd lived in New Beijing – and then she'd gone to Luna. It had come as something of a surprise that the moon was, in fact, a rock. One with a dizzying view of the stars and a fantastical sparkling skyline, but a rock all the same.

Now Cinder turned her cheek into the crisp breeze, filled her lungs with the rich smell of rain, and wondered how she could possibly spend her life up there. On a rock. Because –

Rain. Autumn.

She was lucky to only be the ambassador; Queen Winter Hayle-Blackburn was the one with a life sentence to the throne. Yes, Princess Selene was technically a co-ruler of Luna, but in all honesty, she felt as though she'd dodged a bullet.

Cinder sighed. She was growing into a sap. Feeling nostalgic, and maybe a little foolish, she bent down and plucked a leaf from the stone path, and turned it over in her fingers. Such a bright shade of yellow – the likes of which were never seen on Luna. Not like this.

"You can have that one, if you like," said a bemused voice behind her.

Cinder dropped to her knees in surprise and stifled the immediate instinct to load her tranq gun, but her heart jumped anyway as she turned to see Kai walking toward her down the path.

"I'd bring this whole garden to Artemisia Palace if I could," she admitted, watching him approach. "Except it would put your gardeners out of work."

Kai crouched down beside her with a wry smile. "I thought your palace garden was renowned for … I don't know …" He twirled his hands through the air. "… tranquility?"

"Not really," Cinder mumbled. "The trees don't change colour, and I actually got used to it. Now I feel kind of off-balance."

He chuckled. "I would have thought that the gravity would be a bigger balance issue." When she did not reply, he tried again. "I hear the stars are a wonder from up there."

Cinder shrugged, rolling the leaf stem between her fingers. "It's not the same."

"Hey." Kai clasped a hand around hers, trapping the leaf between them. When she looked up at him, she found that the natural laughter in his eyes had dimmed.

He knew her too well.

"I guess I'm homesick," she said quietly. Unable to hold his gaze, she looked down at their joined hands; warmth blossomed in her chest at the sight. "Ironic, isn't it?"

Kai's voice was steady. "Why would it be ironic? You grew up here."

"I grew up with Adri," she said, because that was all there was to say about it. "I just – I don't know. New Beijing felt like home, but Earth hates Lunars. And there really isn't a place for me on Luna, either … it grew around the space I left …"

Cinder trailed off. She knew the true reason for her melancholy.

It was nostalgia for what she'd never had.

A place, a belonging. A home to go back to when her burdens became too great.

But she wasn't sure anymore that the burden of her title and responsibility to Luna – to the entire world, considering the extent of Luna's power – would ever be lifted.

When Kai said nothing, she looked up and found him gazing at her in a thoughtful sort of way. A small mercy, Cinder thought, that he did not look at her with the pity and awe she could expect from everyone else.

"I can't speak for Luna, but you have a home here," he murmured. "Maybe not yet, but I think someday you will wake up and smell the coffee and know your place beyond a shadow of doubt, so much so that you won't realize you know." A pause. "If that makes any sense."

Cinder's drew back slightly, her mind pulling through his words to the insinuation beneath, but he was already standing, pulling her with him. They stood surrounded by the flaming brink of winter, leaves twirling to ancient music none had ever heard, nostalgia for what had once been and what was to come; and a little of Cinder's heartache seemed to ease.

"Well," she said, as they started down the path together, "it seems I'm in dire need of a poker face."

"What?"

"Never mind. Can you tell Nainsi to brew some black coffee?"