As soon as Castiel gets rejected by heaven, he chooses to go on his own, away from the brothers. For a short while. At least this is what he thinks. He needs to clear his head and have some time alone.
Days are replaced by weeks, but his depression only gets worse. He has made terrible mistakes, heaven does not want him back, and he thinks he has become a burden for the brothers. Because of all of this, guilt eats him from the inside.
It's a cold, rainy day and the angel stands at a river bank. He is alone. All normal people are locked up inside their houses in the warmth, in front of the TV. Small, white air puffs come out of his slightly parted lips as he looks down at the water's surface. Rain drops dance and form circles on it.
Castiel's trench coat is wet and dark from the rain, but the angel does not pay attention to it. He slightly moves his hand alongside his body and something slips out of the sleeve. An angel blade.
"Forgive me father, for I am about to sin. This is the only way," he rasps as he holds the blade with his numb fingers.
Castiel raises the blade to stab himself in the heart, but someone's strong hand grabs his wrist and the angel startles. He loses control only for a few seconds, but it is enough for the attacker to snatch the blade from him and throw it away.
"You, stupid son of a bitch!" a painfully familiar voice yells at him and someone turns the angel around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Dean grabs Castiel's shoulders and shakes him hard.
"Dean… I…" Castiel doesn't know how the older Winchester found him, and he doesn't know how to answer Dean's question either. He just opens and closes his mouth. He licks his dry lips and tries to swallow. "I… I am not needed. I do not know what to do." The last words are barely above a whisper.
Green eyes burn with anger and stare at him so intently that the angel feels uncomfortable and averts his gaze.
"Look at me, Cas…"
Castiel lifts his gaze and looks at the hunter.
"I'll tell you what to do."
The angel slightly frowns. How come Dean knows and he doesn't? "And what would tha…"
His question gets cut off by the press of the hunter's lips against his mouth. Castiel gasps and tenses in surprise, but when the kiss gets more demanding, insistent, and passionate, the angel finds himself responding enthusiastically.
"Good start," Dean murmurs against his lips and wraps his arm around Castiel's waist, tugging him closer. "You're not going anywhere," he adds after breaking a kiss.
"Dean…"
"Shut up, Cas." The hunter slides his hand through Castiel's hair and presses their foreheads together. "And if you try to run away again… Then…" Dean grins wolfishly.
"Then what?" Castiel arches his eyebrow.
"I still have holy oil left. I know how you love that stuff." The hunter laughs when the angel gives him a 'bitchface'. "Let's go." Dean gives the angel a fond smile. Castiel nods and picks up his blade.
As they walk towards the Impala, Castiel feels that a mountain has fallen off his chest. Maybe this is what he had needed all this time.
The End