He doesn't feel it anymore. At least he thinks he doesn't. When they tease and taunt him, use the same old words and hit him with the same violent hands.
Nothing has changed.
When Kurt joined the cheerios the small optimistic part of him thought that the days of being bullied had ended. But he had been naïve.
As much as he could change his social standing he could never change his sexuality. And McKinley would always be a school filled with homophobes.
Maybe he is doomed to be bullied forever.
She desperately wants to feel. Continuing to sleep with the same jocks, using the same ploys to get them to bed with her- it no longer means anything.
But when did it ever mean anything to her?
Santana wishes that she had something constant in her life, something to keep her grounded and sane. But she doesn't.
Her entire life has been filled with flimsy promises and romances that were everything but meaningful.
Maybe she is doomed to be the school slut forever.
Kurt Hummel is sick and tired of Quinn Fabray. Times were a whole lot better when she was pregnant and not on the cheerios. Now all she does is abuse her power, pushing Kurt to the back of the routines and giving herself a spot in the limelight. He understands that he can't always be the centre of attention but then neither can Quinn.
It's all a popularity thing. Quinn is so desperate to get back everything that she lost that she's become blind to everything else. It makes Kurt sick to think of it. He and Quinn had actually started bonding when she was forced to live in his social class. But now that she was on her way back he was just another loser.
Something had to be done.
Quinn was head cheerio, a position formerly occupied by Santana (who had been doing a much better job Kurt surprisingly realizes). Kurt was fine with her staying in the cheerios but she had to be knocked out of the top spot.
But that was never going to happen. The only two people Kurt could think of as being capable enough to take her place where Santana and him. Santana had disgraced Sue Sylvester and the idea of a male head cheerio was ludicrous at best.
But what about an alliance? There was no rule against co-captains was there? If he and Santana could find a way to team up then replacing Quinn would be just that much easier.
The idea didn't really appeal to Kurt that much. Santana was a bitch and had never really been that nice to him. On top of that, her promiscuity and her constant stream of "boyfriends" disgusted Kurt. But the thought of no longer having to put up with Quinn outweighed Kurt's abhorrence. Now all he had to do was find a way to propose the idea to Santana that wouldn't end up in humiliation.
Santana was busy vomiting into the toilet when she heard someone else enter and was forced to stop and be quiet.
She couldn't help eavesdropping; it was a natural reaction to her. The opportunity to hear something embarrassing and then blackmail someone about it was just too appealing to ignore.
But she soon realized that it was Quinn and Becky in the bathroom, and their discussion made her even sicker.
"Yeah, I think we can take the leads in the next number Becky" that was Quinn, abusing her power as head cheerio to get another front position and giving the other one to Becky as an obvious ploy to win Miss. Sylvester's favour.
"Thanks Quinn" Becky giggles.
Santana flushes the toilet after wiping her mouth with a tissue and acts surprised to see the two cheerios.
"Quinn, what a coincidence! I was just reading an article about how teen pregnancies often result in permanent stretch marks and weight gain" She flips her ponytail and exits the bathroom proudly, not even caring to look at Quinn's reaction.
Cheerios practice is that afternoon and both Kurt and Santana arrive on time. When Quinn announces that she and Becky will be taking the leads in the next number Kurt loses it.
"Surprise, surprise" he says, loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Kurt! Four laps around the auditorium for insubordination" Quinn announces "Santana can join you".
"Me!" Santana shouts "What the hell did I do?"
"That'll be five for both of you".
Kurt is pissed, Santana can see it. But, to her surprise, he doesn't make any sarcastic, demeaning comments to her. He actually doesn't say anything until halfway through the second lap.
"That girl does not deserve that position"
Santana is surprised. She thought that Kurt and Quinn were sort-of friends.
"Tell me about it" she adds.
They're quiet for two more laps.
"I can't believe I got demoted for getting a boob-job"
Kurt laughs through his panting. "Yeah, you were ten times better than Quinn as head cheerio"
Santana is left speechless. Kurt is actually complimenting her. There must be an ulterior motive.
"I think I know how to dethrone her" Kurt admits.
"How?" Now she's interested. "You know that Sue will never put me back there".
"Yeah, not alone. But if we both tried to be co-heads there may be a chance".
The idea actually gets Santana thinking.
"Co-heads? You think that could happen?"
"Sure, if we impressed Sue enough. We just need to show her that we deserve it and that we, like work well together and stuff".
Santana grins. The idea is perfect. She and Kurt would become co-heads and then, after a week or two, she would find a way to get Kurt out of the position so she would have the role solely to herself.
"Let's do it"
Getting the other cheerios on their side is actually pretty easy. Kurt and Santana realize that their dissatisfaction with Quinn is shared by most of the other squad members and that they don't mind having the two as their new captains if it means not having to listen to Quinn.
"Okay, listen up" Santana says to the cheerios, minus Quinn, Becky and Sue. "There's an assembly for the entire school on Friday. We weren't going to perform so Quinn and Miss Sylvester know nothing. We'll get Kurt here to distract Figgins while we all assemble and then we'll do our number for the entire school. I don't care if you have problems, we're doing this"
"That triple jump idea was inspired" Kurt says to Santana after the secret practice on Wednesday "it really adds depth to the second movement"
Santana smiles. She's used to receiving compliments but they're usually delivered in fear. It's nice to get an honest one every once in a while.
"Thanks" she mumbles, feeling awkward "your vocals in the bridge are great too".
"I know" Kurt replies tying his shoelace and strutting out the change room.
Friday comes and Kurt has never felt so prepared for a number in his life.
He's sitting with the rest of the cheerios in their seats (the best in the auditorium) and watches as Figgins finishes talking to their librarian. The students of McKinley are still streaming into the auditorium, chatting and laughing amongst themselves so it's not time just yet.
Kurt waits until the students are all inside and almost seated and nods to Santana as he walks over to Figgins.
"Sorry to disturb you sir, but I was wondering whether you could give me permission to extend my locker. I'm running out of space for my frequent wardrobe changes".
He can see the cheerios assembling into their positions but Figgins isn't facing them and is too oblivious to notice the school's surprise at the unexpected event.
Everything is so well rehearsed that Kurt doesn't even need to wait for the reply until everyone is in their right place.
"Actually" he says, interrupting Figgins's mumbling "I think it'll be fine"
Kurt twirls around and takes his position next to Santana at the front of the formation. His place offers him a prime view of Sue and Quinn who, at the moment look very confused.
The notes of the song start and he gets lost in the performance.
They're doing Lady Gaga's "Boys, boys, boys" which fits comfortably in both his range and Santana's. Behind them the cheerios dance and jump, providing background vocals.
By the time they're halfway through Santana can see that they've won over Sue. Where Quinn looks like she's ready to murder someone Sue is smiling like she knows a secret.
This fuels Santana even more and she puts her all into the performance. Near the end of the song she is thrown into the air by the cheerios and performs a perfect forward flip in the air landing unflawed in the human net below.
The song ends with Kurt and Santana next to each other, held in the air by the rest of the squad.
Kurt couldn't feel more fabulous
"But they went against your orders!" Quinn is shouting.
"And were amazing! It's exactly that sort of forward thinking that we need more of in the cheerios. That one number gave us more positive press than we've had since Aretha sang Christina at the pep rally"
"But you made me head cheerio! You can't just take that away from me!"
"You want the position back? Show me you deserve it like lady face and Santana over here did".
Kurt and Santana are in Sue's office with Quinn, called there for a special meeting after the assembly. And, just like they had planned, Sue has handed the head cheerio position to them.
As much as Quinn tries to protest Sue is adamant and the blonde cheerio ends up storming out the office.
"Okay, now onto business" Sue says, turning to the two new cheerio captains. "You two may have just pulled off a kick-ass number and been given Prego's position but that doesn't mean you start slacking. I want another number like that ready by Tuesday. You understand?"
Kurt and Santana nod.
"Now get out of my office"
Kurt doesn't say anything to Santana after they leave Sue's office. They just nod to each other and go their separate ways.
He starts walking towards his locker but is taken by surprise when Karofsky and Azimio shove him against the wall.
"Hey Fag" Azimio taunts "that was a really gay number you just did back there"
"Yeah" Karofsky adds "you think it's alright to do something like that?"
Kurt's high is ruined. He looks around for someone to help him but everyone is just ignoring the situation.
"Huh? You stupid or something?" Azimio punches Kurt in the face and he sinks to the ground.
He braces himself for the next punch or kick but is surprised when nothing comes.
"Hey! Dumb and dumber!" It's Santana's voice.
Kurt opens his eyes and looks up at the unfolding situation.
Karofsky and Azimio have ignored him for a moment to look at the new head cheerio. She looks out of place to Kurt. She's never really had much involvement in his bullying before. He wonders whether she's going to join in.
"Leave Kurt alone or everyone will find out about your little…problem" she eyes Karofsky's crotch sneakily.
Kurt wonders whether he's dreaming, but not because he just found out that Karofsky has erectile dysfunction. Santana is standing up for him? Something is very wrong….
He feels himself being helped up by her and led to the girl's bathroom. Turning around he can see that Karofsky and Azimio are just as surprised as he is.
Santana sits him down next to a sink and starts to wipe the blood off his face with a tissue.
"Listen Alexander McQueen. The only reason I helped you out was because you helped me get my position back. And if anyone asks me, I will deny it. But now that we're even you can't expect anything else from me okay?"
"Uh…okay" Kurt manages to say "and…..thank you".
"Don't mention it" Santana finishes her wiping and gets up to leave "Seriously, don't mention it". The last part is both kind and yet hostile at the same time.
She leaves Kurt sitting there with the bloody tissue in his hand.