Shayne stood outside the door of the single family beach house, the breeze hitting her face and the sound of waves crashing. She had contemplated being in this situation a thousand and one times. After all these years would Carmen speak? Would she slap her face and slam the door?
Shayne mustered her nerve and knocked on the door, " Coming" ; She heard Carmen's voice coming closer. The door opened and there stood a frozen Carmen, mouth agape and the color of her golden skin faint. " What are you doing here?" she whispered.
Shayne swallowed the lump in her throat and stuttered out the words, " I needed to see you just once more". She looked at Carmen with tear filled eyes and waited for her response. Carmen stood to the side and motioned Shayne in.
" Jenny is dead, I am so confused about how I am supposed to feel", " I was so angry with her, we all were, But that is not why I came her. Her death made me realize that I needed to make peace with everyone I have ever wronged. You were at the top of that priority list Carmen".
Carmen went over to the counter and poured two drinks. She looked at Shayne and said, " I appreciate your concern and offer, But we have not spoken since the night you left me at the altar all those years ago". " I have moved forward and there is really nothing left to say".
" Carmen please, I need to explain my actions. I loved you more than anything or anyone in my life, you are the only woman I have ever wanted to marry, But all I could think is that I was going to hurt you and ruin your life, I got wasted and drove down to the coast and jumped in, I just wanted to die, And instead of reaching out to you I ran. I was a coward and have to carry the guilt and regret every day. No one can kick my ass like I can. But you…you are perfect, you deserved someone perfect that could give you the world you envisioned fir marriage and a future. I let the past of my family and hurt stop me from making the best choice of my life a reality with the one woman I could see myself grow old with. And I am so deeply sorry for the way I behaved and how much pain I caused you and your family."
Carmen had her hand over her mouth and her heart in her throat as she listened to Shayne pour out her heart and soul, all the pain, all the mistakes and relationships failed. All the success and failure she had gone through since that night Carmen's brother knocked her to the ground. Shayne was sobbing by this time, there were no more words coming out, just a faint sorry and then it was all tears. Carmen was not sure how to react to this situation. She wanted to take Shayne in her arms and hold the pain away, but in the same instant she was happy to see all the pain and suffering coming from the person who almost destroyed her to the very soul.
"Shayne, look at me, Please?; Shayne lifted her head with red swollen eyes and tear stained cheeks. Carmen had only seen this a few times from Shayne. "I forgive you", the words just slipped off her lips like drops of water in the rain. She was a bit shocked to hear herself saying this. But she had no other choice. She could never truly hate Shayne.. especially standing in front her like she was now. "Where are you staying?" Carmen asks hesitantly. "I'm a staying with Tasha and Alice, they moved out here when Bette and Tina did". I have a hotel room secured for the end of the week". "You can stay here, in my guest room.. we can spend some time working through all this tomorrow. I am really spent ".
Carmen showed Shayne to the spare room and said goodnight. In the next few hours.. they both lye awake thinking with minds racing a million miles a minute. They were both still full of things to release but neither had the strength to say them. After what seemed like n eternity Shayne hears her door open, Carmen comes in the room in a robe, the moon light is shining in through all the stained glass windows of the room casting colors lightly on Carmen as if she were a painting come to life. Shayne felt fear and insecurity coming up in her throat. She was still in love with Carmen even after all this time. " No words Shayne, just lye still please and let me have my moment '. Shayne did as asked, she laid still as Carmen let the robe fall to the floor, revealing all her golden beauty. Carmen climbed on top of Shayne and kissed her with all her passion. She removed Shayne's tank top and underwear. Carmen kissed and teased Shayne's most sensitive places , she made her surrender over and over to the feeling of her warmth and things she was doing to her body. And finally when Shayne had succumbed to the pleasure of it all, Carmen got up and walked out of the room. Shayne lay there in shock, what just happened? Why did she not allow me to touch her? WTF!
The next morning they talked and walked on the beach, they went over every detail of life for each one following the break up and they had a great day reacquainting. That night the same thing happened again. This time more intense than the last, and Shayne could not quite make sense of what was going on. In the day time they were nothing but 2 friends. This went on for the full 10 days Shayne stayed. On that last night when Carmen went out of the room after their passionate love making , Shayne lost her control of emotion. Her heart was overwhelmed with all that had been happening. She tried to reel it back in, her heart could not take the cold any longer, she needed to let it all go and she needed Carmen. she pulled the pillow over her face and sobbed silently into it. Carmen stood outside the door for a moment feeling the need to go back in but did not go to her and try to comfort her?
The next morning Shayne showered and dressed and packed her things to leave. She went out into the dining area , sat drinking coffee and reading the paper. She had breakfast out on the table for two and looked up at Shayne as if nothing ever occurred between them. She offered to pour Shayne some Oj and Shayne nodded. But then the words started, " So are you going to go " Carmen looking very serious and strong asks . Shayne looked into her eyes and replied " I do not want to ". Carmen began, tearful , do you know how long I wanted to make you feel the hurt and pain you left me with?.. I wanted you to remember my touch, my scent, my love. And I was going to throw you away today, like you did me!. I wanted you to feel used and less than human. But here Iam.. I want you to stay, I do not want you leave again…ever!
Shayne came out of the chair and had Carmen in her arms so fast she did not see the coffee turn over. She held Carmen and felt her sobs and shaking. Release had finally come, all the anger and pain was flooding out of Carmen.. She cried out into Shayne's shoulder and slid to the floor in Shayne's arms. Shayne held her and let her weep as the dam broke.
After a little while the two were on the sofa cuddled up . Carmen looks up into Shayne's perfect face and says " Will you marry me this time?" With no hesitation, no fear and without doubts, Shayne smiles from one ear to the other, " Let's go..right now"….
Carmen looked at Shayne in amazement. " DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?" .. Shayne's smiled that million dollar grin and said " Of course I do or I would not have said it". They got ready and went to the courthouse to purchase the license, after the documents were signed they went directly down stairs and were married by the magistrate, they asked a couple in the hall outside the small office to witness for them and in just under 2 hours Carmen was now a Mccutcheon.
They called Bette and Tina, Tasha and Alice, Kit, Max, Shay, and everyone else they could think of to come celebrate at a make shift reception that they threw together in a matter of 3 hours. Everyone that could showed up and they could not the 2 finally reunited and married.
Carmen was no longer the one who got away, Shayne was no longer the desperado of the group, She had finally let down her walls and let somebody love her. She looked forward to the possibilities ahead and to maybe even having a family of their own. This was not the future she had wanted and dreamed for herself. It was so much more.
Carmen was still scared and doubtful of how long this bliss would last. She worried Shayne's soul would tire of the committed life and that one day she would come in and there would be an empty house with a dear john note. But she was willing to take the chance if it meant having Shane by her side once more even if it did not last forever...
It had been six months since they said "I DO" and Carmen was 6 weeks into her pregnancy after 3 attempts of egg retrieval on Shayne. She now carried 2 embryos one fertilized egg from Shayne who used Carmen's cousin Valentino as her donor so the child would have biological ties to Carmen, and one from Carmen that Shayne's friend Dino donated for. He looked very similar to Shane and could have even passed for her relative if no one knew the difference.
Twins but not, Carmen prayed this pregnancy would go well and that the babies would be healthy. She was so worried about every little thing.. Shayne was not making things easy either with all her whining and complaints about the treatment side effects that she had to take to do the egg retrieval. But otherwise their lives were on track and doing do well. Shayne had her own salon to some very high end clientele,, and Carmen had her own DJ business, She had just done a world wide tour for a year and the money was still rolling in from the recording studio she owned. The McCutheon household was a place full life and love and beyond anything either of the newly weds had dreamed.
Carmen had already picked out names for the babies even though she did not know what they were yet. Shayden-Cane and Sharla-Mayne were her two favorites right now. she had tried to combine her and Shayne's names, Sharmen and Shaymen just sounded like toilet paper and a witch doctor to her. So she played around and came up with the two she like best. These will do for boy /girl set of babies but she was at a loss for further ideas at this minute. Carmen thought Shayden could also go for a girl, why not But she also thought Shaymen was something cool in sense because her father was some kind of tribal dr ? Since she never knew him could this be a way of carrying him on?
With all this thought of the babies and what will be , Carmen noticed that Shayne was throwing up in the bathroom. She took off in the bathroom to see if she could help her wife...