Harmless
by NihilisticAmbition313
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly
...
Prologue
Sam's view
The sound of my alarm clock broke up the beautiful dream I was having. I dreamed that I was at a free all-you-can-eat meat buffet, and just as I was about to load up my plate, that stupid clock started yapping.
"No...My meat..." I moaned into my pillow
Another dream ruined by Mr. Alarm Cock.
Oh well, it's time to get my ass in gear anyway. Lovely Ridgemont High awaits. Another Monday filled with excitement, fun, and happy times. Yeah, right. More like another day of stupid nubs getting on my nerves.
There is one thing I like about school though, and that's being there with my boyfriend Freddie. He makes it easier to deal.
I quickly showered and put on my outfit for the day, then went down to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast. I grabbed a handfull of ham and shoved it in my mouth and washed my hands afterward. I didn't really have time to make anything because Freddie was coming to pick me up, and if I was late coming out the house he'd cry like a little girl and lecture me about punctuality.
I decided to wait outside on the porch for him so he wouldn't have to blow his horn. After about three minutes of waiting, his new silver Prius pulled up in front of my house. I practically ran to it and got in on the passenger side.
"Hey gorgeous." Freddie greeted
"What up ugly?"
Not really. My Freddie was the hottest dude in school, and that's why I wanted him the day I first laid eyes on him, and whatever Momma wants, Momma gets. He was game, and I was glad he didn't make it hard (not like he had a choice anyway).
"Nothing. Ready for another fun Monday?"
"No."
"Wanna skip and go to the arcade?"
"Hell yeah, but I know you're bullshittin'."
"Ha ha."
I really didn't feel like going to school, but as long as my man was there I'd be okay.
Freddie whipped into the space in the student parking lot that was closest to the building. We got out and took each other by the hand (Momma let's the world know he belongs to her), and walked through the doors...
Carly's view
Day one, new school.
My dad shipped me off to live with my grown-up brother because I didn't want to go with him to Tokyo, where he's stationed in the Navy. Sorry, but sushi and anime wasn't my idea of a good time. Besides, I don't even speak Japanese. How would I have gotten along?
I wandered the halls of this new school, searching for the first class of the shiny new schedule in my hand. I must have looked like a little lost nub, because this girl called out to me...
"Yo, you lost?"
She stood about my height, and had big curly blonde hair atop her head.
"Actually, yeah. I'm new here."
"Figured that. Where you need to be?"
I showed the girl my schedule, and she nodded.
"Unfortunately, that Miss Briggs's class. I can take you there, it's on my way."
"Really? Gee, thanks."
"No big."
" Oh, my name's Carly. Carly Shay."
"Me be Sam Puckett."
"Duly noted."
Okay, this is good. I suppose I've made my first friend.
"What is it like here?" I asked Sam Puckett as she led me through the hallway
"Eh, it's not so bad. Some teachers are cool, some are jerks like Briggs. But the principal's real cool."
"Oh, yes he's very nice." I said, recalling how friendly Principal Franklin was to me
"Everybody pretty much stays out of each other's way." Sam continued
"Um, there aren't any bullies around are there?"
"Not really, and that's 'cause of me. I'm sorta the sheriff around here. I don't let bullshit pass."
Oh my, such language.
"So everyone respects you?"
"Damn straight. These are Momma's hallways and everybody knows it."
"Momma?"
"Me."
Why on earth would someone call their self Momma, and in third person no less?
Momma, err, Sam Puckett stopped at the door of a classroom and nodded toward it.
"This be your stop. Enjoy the Briggs experience."
"Oh. Thank you very much."
"Yup." Sam uttered as she turned to walk away
"Hey, Sam?"
"What up?"
"Um, could I sorta hang around you, just 'till I learn my way around?"
Sam looked ill-at-ease with my request, and that made me feel like an idiot for asking.
"Eh, I don't really do the friend thing. Besides my boyfriend, I walk alone."
Sam's view
"Oh, I see." Carly peeped, looking like she was about to cry
Sam, why did you have to go hurt the girl's feelings? She's new and she just wants somebody to cling to. Get over yourself.
"Ah, what the hell. You can ride with me." I told Carly
Carly's brown eyes lit up.
"Thank you."
"Yeah. Now get your ass in class."
"Okay. I'll be looking for you."
"Mmm-hmm."