Despite her lamenting, Ahiru doesn't really remember much about being a duck.
To her limited memory, it's almost as if she's been a girl all her life—except for the fact that her memories are only of ballet school and only go back a few short months, and then after that they're blank. To her limited memory, she could have been normal, almost. But if not for the day she first became Tutu and came across Drosselmeyer and learned about her duty to restore the prince's heart, she wouldn't have had a clue that she wasn't really human.
It frustrates her sometimes, the way she only remembers part of herself. She isn't happy with the fact that she's really a duck, of course, but if it's who she has to be, her mind could at least do her the courtesy of providing her with some piece of her former self. Anything besides a blanket of holes.
The only thing she can really remember clearly is one day, sometime in the past. A day when she watched the prince dance and thought that she would do anything to be with him.
It's funny, she thinks, how even the section of her life she can't remember has always been about the prince.
i love poor little ahiru.