Title: Dark Car On Rainy Streets
Disclaimers: NCIS, the rights to the show and its characters do not belong to me. No money was made by this.
A/N: English is not my native language. So please forgive me my grammar and spelling mistakes.
Spoilers: minor one for Kill Ari
Pairing: Tiva, main focus is on Ziva, though
A/N2: catch the movie reference. sorry if it's confusing.
There's a ringing in her ears and she opens her eyes, blinking against the sun, reducing the sound to a background noise. Her sister is laughing, tugging on her hand.
"Come on, Zivi, dance with me." she smiles, giving another tug, and she stumbles after her into the soft trickling of rain that is falling down. Tali throws her head back in laughter, her dress getting soaked quickly. She stands and watches her, watches her sister move her body like the exuberant child she is. Something is off, something seems different, and she cannot make out if it's the fact that she is wearing a purple dress when she never liked purple to begin with, or if it's the fact that she herself is not wearing any shoes and her feet are wet, or if it's that Tali seems to slow down gradually, her jumps and twirls in mid-air almost coming to a stop.
_.:._
They're sitting in a cafe, and she has no idea how they have gotten here. Tali is sitting across from her, smiling, watching her while taking a sip of her juice. Red. Cranberry juice with pomegranates. She always loved this stuff. Again with the purple dress, but it has cherry blossoms on it this time. Tali is allergic to cherries, why would she wear- "Eat, Zivi." her sister says, her tone soft, and she simply reaches for the croissant. Strawberry marmalade. She never liked that, it was always Tali who wanted-
The wipers of the car are going fast. A horn blares and headlights flash in the dark of the night, and she quickly grabs the wheel, pushing her foot down on the pedal as the light before them switches to yellow. Tali is sitting next to her, watching the scenery fly by, the rain hitting the window panes. "I think I love the spring." - "Where are we going?" she asks her, glancing at her before turning her attention back to the road. Tali turns in her seat and watches her. "Don't you know?"
_.:._
Orchids. Hundreds of them. Tali bends down and carefully smells one. Her purple dress is shorter than before, her hair still in damp curls from the rain. What rain, it's bright sunshine and the earth is dry. "I like this place." she comments. How can Tali like it? She has never seen it, it was Tony who showed her-
Again with the car. Again with the rain. Again with the purple dress, but it now has an irregular red flowerprint on it. Tali's hair is longer. There's something on her cheek, but as she looks, it disappears, and the light turns green and she has to concentrate on the road. "When are you going to stop running, Ziva?"
_.:._
Gold. Never-ending fields of gold before them. They stand next to each other. Ziva turns around slowly, absorbing the scene. Tali reaches out and takes her hand, looking at her with some sort of sad smile. Ari took her to stand in these fields after-
Her hands slam against the wheel, drawing a startled honk from the car. She puts it into reverse and turns on the street, setting off into the direction they came from. Tali is in the passenger seat, watching her intently. "You cannot change the past, Ziva."
_.:._
She watches two girls run past them on the street, the younger trying to catch up with the older one. There is something in her hands, something that looks like a doll. They burst onto the street, in front of a car. Screeching tires, a crash as metal hits a solid brick wall, a child crying. She runs towards them, her bare feet pounding on the pavement. As she kneels down, she sees Tali stand next to the younger child, in that purple dress again. Gently, she coaxes the older girl to show her her bloody hands. There is a cut on her palm, and her eyes travel to her own hand, catch the scar on her palm, and pain shoots through it up her arm-
This time, she opens the car door and gets out, looking around frantically. She knows this place, she has seen these streets, walked them before- "You will not remember until you can accept the truth, Ziva." Tali has exited the vehicle on the passenger side. She is watching her, rain running down her face, soaking her hair. There's a cut above her eyebrow, a trickle of blood flowing down her face slowly, mixing with the rain.
_.:._
Her bedroom. She would always recognize this room. The floor is littered with sheet music. There is yelling from downstairs, her sister is having a fight with someone. The door to her closet is open. On it is a simple, purple dress. The one Tali wanted to-
She tries to take deep breaths. Her lungs are hurting and she pulls the car over. Rain is still hitting the windowpane, her heart racing. Tali is shifting in her seat. There is a coppery scent in the air, and she slowly turns her head to look at her sister. Lets her eyes travel over her, coming to rest on the nonsense patterns on the purple dress. Red on purple, who got that idea? It almost looks like blood.
_.:._
The sun is scorching, and she has to shield her eyes against the brightness. Tali lets go of her hand slowly, walking towards a shop on the market. She calls her back, tells her to stop, to turn around and come back right now. But Tali keeps going, and she cannot move to get to her. And then the blast knocks her back, heat enveloping her-
Her hands grip the handle and open the door of the car right when she starts retching. Rain is still pouring down, soaking her as she loses her stomach's contents. It takes a while, but once she is finished, she slowly pulls the door closed, brushing her hair out of her face. She is in the passenger seat, and turns to see Tali at the steering wheel. Her long curls are falling over her shoulders. She has exchanged the purple dress for a white one, and she merely turns to give her a short smile before putting the car into drive and pulling into the traffic.
_.:._
An empty warehouse. Her steps echo on the concrete floor. There is no one here but them. Her, and the ghost of her sister. But she knows this place, somehow, she has seen it before. Someone pulls the door open, and she whirls around, reaching for her gun. But there is none at her hip, and she is staring into her own face, full of terror-
They're on the highway. It's her behind the wheel again, and the car swerves shortly before she gets it under control. The streets are slick with rain, and she can hardly see. Her heart is pounding in her chest, she feels as if it's going to explode. They go for miles, exits coming, cars leaving, but there are no names on the signs. She has no idea where they are. "Does it really matter?"
_.:._
The air is filled with dust particles, disturbed from their rest on the furniture and carpet. The stairs gives a soft creak as someone steps on them. She lets go of Tali's hand and walks from the kitchen, her sister in tow. Tony is on the stairs, his gun drawn. She hears someone call his name, and turns to see McGee coming in through the back door. A sound from upstairs, and gunshots being fired-
_.:._
It's starting to clear up. At least she thinks it is. She can't really be sure, because they're not in the car any more. Instead, they're at a lake. Tali is sitting on the landing stage, her feet dangling, looking out onto the murky dark water. She slowly walks to her. There's boat out on the lake, someone is screaming. "I wish I had known how to swim." Tali softly says as the screams of her younger self fill the air, and Ziva has already taken her jacket off and is diving headfirst into the water-
They're back at the café. Tali is wearing the purple dress again, red blood glistening in the sun, bloodsplatter all over her skin. There's scratch near her throat, and Ziva remember wondering if her sister felt it when the bomb went off. Wonders if she hurt at all before she died. Tali pushes the paper to her, and she slowly grabs it, staring at the title page.
"It's your choice, now."
_.:._
She watches, mesmerized, as the paramedic pushes down on her chest again, and again, before leaning back as his colleague presses on the bag attached to the mask that is pressed on her mouth. Her blouse is cut open, blood stains all over her chest and favorite blue bra. Gibbs is standing, leaning against the ambulance, his eyes closed. Another paramedic is cleaning up McGee, wrapping his head wound with thick bandages. Tony sits next to him, and oxygen mask on his mouth, dirt and ashes all over them, blood trickling from a cut of his cheek and spilling onto his OSU shirt. And they both stare at the frantic struggle the two paramedics have over her life. A third one sprints over to them, slapping pads to her chest before charging the mobile defibrillator and placing it on her chest-
Small bundles are wiggling in the clear bassinets. Blue and pink blankets and hats on tiny head. Huge yawns from little mouths. Big round eyes and little fingers reaching upwards. The presence next to her is not her sister any more, hence why she is not looking. He simply stands, silent, dark, until she glances at him out of the corner of her eye. He is dressed completely in black, his hands in the pockets of his cargo pants, his eyes fixed on one of the babies. "How many of them will turn out like us?" She slowly turns her head and watches as he places his hand against the glass. "How many will become monsters, how many will be disappointed by their fathers and mothers and feel the anger of the world? How many will be forced to decided between what is right and what is easy?" She does not answer but follows his gaze. The baby in the bassinet below the window is watching him intently. It's a boy, with huge blue eyes and tiny freckles on his soft skin.
_.:._
The stage is lit, the rest of the auditorium plunged into darkness. She watches the girl on the stage, watches her dance and spin. Her eyes follow her movements, until the girl bends down, and her face turns to search the front row shortly, her small steps faltering slightly before she picks up her pace again. Her own eyes wander to the seats in the first row. A young man, a woman bending her head, holding a squirming toddler, the seat next to her empty-
She turns on the radio while trying to see the signs on the highway exits. Only static fills the car. Tali is sitting with her back against the door, her foot up on th seat, watching her. "Did you ever miss me?"
_.:._
Her feet are bare on the cold tiles of the kitchen. An empty bottle of vodka is standing on the counter, two half-filled glasses next to it. A foot is ticking out behind the corner, in a combat boot like the one Tali gave her for-
The sets the blinker and lets the car roll out on the emergency lane of the highway, taking deep breaths. She can hear Tali breathing, the sound and that of the rain and passing cars the only thing that cuts through the silence. "We can be here for all eternity. The question is: Do you want to?"
_.:._
As far as churches go, this one is really beautiful. Small, private. Familiar. She slowly walks down the aisle, Tali skipping to the altar, turning around before facing the huge mosaic window, gazing up into the eyes of Jesus. She spreads her arms, and the light catches her white dress. For a second, she looks like a bride, and the Wedding March is sounding-
Something is wrong with her. Her heart is racing again, it hurts, hurts so much that she can barely draw breaths. It seems like with every time they get back into the car, the pain increases. "Only because the memories are becoming more painful."
_.:._
This time, she doesn't pay attention to what is going on, instead she turns and stares at her sister, grabs her hands and pulls her around to face her. Tali's face is startled as the voices around them rise in anger. "Why am I here?" she yells at her, searching the girls face, frantically looking for a way to get out of... whatever this is. Tali blinks and tries to pull her arms free, squirming in her grasp. "Let go of me. Ziva, stop it, you're hurting me. Ziva!" - "Why. Am I. Here?" she insists and shakes the girl, her brown eyes widening. A door slamms and glass shatters.
When she turns her head, Tali is cowering in her seat, rubbing her wrists gingerly, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I am sorry. But I want to know what is going on." she tells her, and she really is. She would have never hurt Tali, could have never done anything like this to her. Slowly, the girl turns her head, looking at her from big, dark eyes. "You never said you were."
_.:._
Two girls are facing each other, the smaller one trying to extract her wrist from the older one's grasp, gasping in pain, tears forming in her eyes. "Where is it?" the older girl hisses, seething with anger, the hand that is not inflicting pain balled into a fist. "I didn-didn't take i-it, I sw-swear." the young one whimpers. The older one lets go before slapping her younger sister in the face, causing her face to fly to her side. Her freckles look exactly like the ones on Tali's-
She's in the passenger seat again. Quickly, she turns and a gasp escapes her. Her brother is driving, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles have turned white. "You shouldn't have done that." His voice is cold, and he suddenly turns the wheel, causing the car to skid on the wet asphalt. They turn, and then Ari hits the gas, driving into the oncoming traffic, and she can hear her own terrified screams-
_.:._
Tali is panting, her hands pulling the steering wheel and getting them off the highway. "Sorry. I promise he won't come back." she tells her, shifting gears swiftly, her dark eyes still on the road. "At least I hope not." she mumbles. Her white dress is soaked and has turned see-through, her hair is clinging to her neck and back in wet strands. She reaches up to wipe away the moisture on her face, and Ziva isn't sure if it's rain or if Tali is sweating so much. She is getting tired and all she wants to do is sleep.
The camera in her hands feels heavy, and she lifts her head, watching as Tali bends down next to McGee, looking into his eyes as he lifts up a piece of evidence. Gibbs yells for her, and she turns, her breath catching in her throat when she sees Tony smile at her, wearing his OSU shirt-
She is still in the passenger seat. The car is going smoothly. Slow, steady, despite the rain and darkness. She chances a glance to her left, and finds her sister there, brushing hair from her face as she turns to look into the mirror before changing lanes. "Where are we going?" she tries again. But Tali remains silent, and the rain continues on, as does the night.
_.:._
The grip on her gun is steady. She is kneeling, her eyes closed, listening hard to every word, and wishing she didn't have to at the same time. Wishing that she could be spared the reality of this. She feels softer hands on hers, and her finger touches the trigger. "You have to." Tali's voice whispers into her ear as her eyes fly open and a gunshot rings out-
She is driving, her heart trying to set a new record. The car swerves, and she realizes someone is pushing against her seat. Turning around shortly, she freezes at the scene. Ari is wrapping his hands around Tali's slender neck, pushing her into the backseat, the girl struggling vehemently against their brother.
"HEY!" Ziva screams, turning back around and narrowly avoiding hitting the oncoming traffic with another swerve. She looks into the rear view mirror and finds that Tali has struck up, hitting Ari's nose and is now trying to knock him out.
"Get off road!" Tali yells at her, her voice panicky. They're on a bridge, there is no way.
"Do it, Ziva! I can't protect you here!" Tali screams, and she turns the steering wheel sharply, hitting the barrier and shielding her face as they go through it, the front window cracking. Ari, who has managed to get Tali under him again, hits his head on the roof of the car.
"We hit the water, you get out. You swim, get out of the water, on the shore, and you wave down another car." Tali hurries to instruct her, the car turning in the air, causing them to scream.
"No!" - "You tell the driver you want back. When they ask, to tell them the blue pill." the teenager insists, somehow managing to secure a seatbelt around their brother.
"I will not go without you!" - "You are saving us both this way, Ziva." her sister shakes her head, flying through the car as it impacts on the murky water.
"I love you." she softly says as the car sinks, water filling up the passenger room. Tali crawls over to the front row, opening the glove compartment as Ziva takes off the seatbelt, turning slowly to watch her brother, who is starting to blink sluggishly. Tali's head flies around and she curses, handing a flashlight to Ziva and capturing her hand, her dark eyes pleading.
"Promise me you'll go back." - "Back where? Tali, what is going on?" - "There's no time to explain. Remember, blue pill." the teenager shakes her head, grabbing the other flashlight and motioning to the window on Ziva's side of the car before climbing back and starting to hit their brother over the head with it.
"Tali, stop it!" she hears herself scream. "You're going to kill him!" - "Get the freaking window, Ziva!" Tali yells as Ari opens his eyes, his hands zeroing in on her throat as if there weren't a gash on his head with blood flowing from it. The water is ice cold and reaches their hips now as Ziva starts frantically beating on the window of the car, watching as cracks spread along on the glass like a spider net. A tiny stream of water trickles into the car before the flashlight impacts again and breaks the window, sending icy water rushing into the car. She gasps and draws a deep breath, turning her head and watching in horror as Ari grabs the flashlight from their sister's hands, hitting her on the temple with it, once, twice, a third time, blood mixing with the water-
She reaches for the door handle and pushes it open, kicking her legs and propelling herself up to the surface, her lungs tight, feeling as if they're going to explode, just another second, you're almost there, now come on, you can do it, G-d, this hurts, I need to-
She opens her mouth and feels relief before the water rushes into it and she doubles her efforts, her head finally breaking through the surface of the water, her coughing up the water and gasping air. She starts swimming for the shore, her limps heavy, kicking off her shoes in the process, tears running down her cheeks. She should turn, she should dive and try to get Tali, but Ari is there, and the way he is acting, she doesn't doubt that he'll try to kill her next. Finally, her feet hit solid ground, and she stumbles onto the shore, her knees hitting the sand, falling her, her hands coming out to steady her in time. She coughs and tries to get her breathing under control, at least so much she can try to stand and walk. Slowly, she straightens, and looks over her shoulder, a scream falling from her lips when she sees her brother swimming in her direction. She scrambles up, turning on the flashlight and running into the direction of the cars, waving at them, pleading over the noise of the traffic for one of them to stop. One finally does, and she quickly gets in, slamming the door shut, turning and facing her mother. "Where to?" she asks her with a soft smile on her lips.
"I- I wa- what the hell is going on here?" Ziva asks, jumping when something hits the door of the car, she snaps on her seatbelt just as it's pulled open. "I want back, I want back, GO!" she screams, kicking at Ari as he reaches for her. Her mother puts the car into drive and she manages to pull free somehow, slamming the door shut just as they reach the highway again. She is panting, brushing over her wet hair, shivering in her cold clothes. "Glove compartment." her mother says, and she casts a look at her, slowly opening it, finding two slender boxes; one blue, the other red.
"Chose now." Rivka tells her, the car suddenly braking to a stop in the middle of the three lane highway. Tali's frantic voice is calling, screaming 'Blue!' at her, and she reaches out, taking the blue box, opening it. A single blue pill is lying in it, and she looks at her mother in confusion. "Last chance. You want back, you take this. Swallow it." she informs her. Car horns are blaring around them, and something hits their car, the seatbelt cutting into her skin painfully. She turns to look at her mother again, opening her mouth before another impact shakes the car. When she whirls around, she can see another car backing up before shifting into gear again, going straight at the one they're in. Without thinking, she puts the pill in her mouth and swallows, her throat working painfully to force it down without liquid. Her mother looks at her, a soft smile on her lips. "I am proud of you, Ziva. I love you, never forget that." Fog is blurring her vision, and she rubs at her eyes, suddenly becoming tired, her eyelids drooping, forcing themselves closed as the car jumps forward again-
Her eyes snap open and she tries to catch her breath as pain explodes throughout her entire body, but for some reason she can't. People are yelling, someone is holding down her head, talking to her. She blinks, panicked, until the face slowly comes into focus and she finds herself gazing into Gibbs' blue eyes and feels safer, safe enough to pay attention to what he is actually saying. Doctors and nurses swarm the room and try to push him aside, but he doesn't leave her side, stroking her forehead gently until she has finally lost the breathing tube and is slowly sinking back into the cushions, her whole body feeling like it was set on fire and she didn't just swim her way back to dry land...
She must have fallen asleep, because when she opens her eyes again, Gibbs is gone, and Tony is sitting in his chair, holding her hand, caressing it with his thumb and giving her a smile when she turns to look at him. There's something in his eyes, something that almost looks like relief. "Hey. Welcome back." he softly whispers to her and stands, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before sitting again, watching her intently. "You gave us quite a scare, you know. Promise me you'll never try to disarm a bomb again?" His voice catches, and she sees him swallow thickly, a moisture in his eyes that is so unlike him. She reaches up to stroke his cheek, because that seems like the most natural thing to do, and the light catches on the golden wedding band on the fourth finger of her hand.
"How long?" she asks him, and he turns his head and kisses her palm, closing his eyes briefly.
"Three days, give or take a couple of hours. I don't really know what time it is now, when Gibbs called and said you were awake, I just rushed here. Sorry I wasn't here in the first place, but he had sent me home to shower and eat. I promise I was hurrying-" he rambles, his eyes pleading with her, and she shakes her head.
"It's okay, really, I understand." she reassures him. She doesn't even mention that she wasn't asking how long she had been out, but since when they were married. The second the question left her, though, she knew the answer. Just like she suddenly remembers that the purple dress had been Ari's birthday present to her and Tali had borrowed it the day she died. She remembers walking down the aisle in that small Church, dressed in a white wedding gown, Tony waiting for her patiently in front of the Chaplain and Rabbi. She remembers stealing that doll from Tali and making a run for it, through Jerusalem's crowded streets. She remembers the fear of thinking that Tony had been taking the bullets in that house, remembers their first real kiss on the dusty stairs when she found him unharmed. She remembers it all.
"I saw my sister." she whispers, closing her eyes. The hold on her hand tightens, and when she opens them again, he has a look of fear in his eyes that is sending goosebumps down her spine. There is no denying how close she cut it this time. But she does not want to think about that now. She wants to sleep, sleep until she isn't tired any more. Sleep with the knowledge that when she wakes up, she will be safe and warm.
THE END
Review? Pretty Please? I'm not too sure about this, I hope it was not too confusing to read. Hint: Italics are memories.