Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games
For all the people who said 'But what happened to Kayn?'
In Shadows and Moonlight
"Shouldn't you be home?"
"No, sir."
"But won't your parents be worried about you?"
"No, sir. Mom knows I'm here. Dad won't care."
"But it isn't good for you to be here with…"
"We've got it worked out, sir. Calem's coming in a few hours to take over. You know Mr. Arram: he'll spend all of his time in here, not eating or sleeping. It's better we be here, to make sure he goes home if he tries."
The old man surveys her. "And that is the only reason you're here?"
She nods. "Just because she's gone doesn't mean we have to ignore her family. Mr. Arram won't be in a fit state for tomorrow if he's always here. If Pearl's here, he'll get mad and Mrs. Arram … well, she can't be here in her state either. It's not good for them."
"Very well," the head of the Burial building says. "But you go home too, Gleam. Don't stay here all night."
"I will, sir," she promises. He smiles briefly at her before turning to leave. She sits back down.
Gleam only manages to sit still for a few minutes before she finds herself standing up and walking over to the coffin. She knows she shouldn't but she can't help herself. And there it is, lying in the moonlight: the body of her best friend. The last tribute to die in the first ever Hunger Games.
Her skin is so pale. She doesn't know if she likes it. Jewel died with cuts on her cheek, a scar on her arm. A hole in her stomach from the knife which took her life. That was Jewel in the Games. But this is a Jewel who looks perfectly healthy, apart from being dead. This is Jewel before the Games. Gleam doesn't know which version she wants to be lying here.
Her mouth is smiling. That was because of Mrs. Arram. The Capitol asked whether there was anything the family wanted to do with the body. Mrs. Arram asked for a smile because that was the expression Jewel always wore.
She has one eye closed and one eye open. That was Gleam's doing. No one knew whether to have her eyes open or closed. Gleam commented that Jewel would have gone for the middle option because she would have thought it funny.
However, the one, truly striking thing about Jewel's corpse is how dead she looks. Some people say that a dead person can look like they're sleeping but even if Jewel had both eyes closed, you could never think she was anything but dead. Jewel moved in her sleep. She talked, she giggled. It used to infuriate Gleam when she slept over. Now she would give anything for Jewel to be able to do it again.
The flowers surrounding the coffin annoy Gleam. A lot of people gave flowers because they knew Jewel vaguely, or they thought they did from the Games. Anyone who really knew Jewel knows that she wouldn't have liked sombre flowers and discreet cards. She would have wanted colours. Jokes. Laughter. Flowers which make you happy. These people didn't know Jewel at all. They just saw her on the screen and took what she said. Jewel wasn't the person on the screen, Gleam thinks. Even when she watched Jewel kill other children, she refused to believe it. And she will keep on refusing to believe it until the day she dies herself.
Tears begin to well up in Gleam's eyes. Swiftly, she wipes them away and turns to go back to her seat. The Hunger Games are a punishment and the Capitol have done their work well. They took away children who had never hurt a fly from their friends and family. Sometimes, Gleam wonders who is worse off: Jewel or her family. Because Jewel is dead. But it's her family who have been tortured because of it.
As she walks back to her seat, there's only one thing Gleam knows for certain: the children of her district might have been inspired by the Games and the citizens of the Capitol might think it is entertainment but she will never forgive them for taking away her best friend.
-=-=-=-=-
A sudden shift in sound grabs her attention. Quietly, Gleam looks over to the coffin. A tall figure stands there, looking over. She is about to get up to tell them to leave – it's probably Mr. Arram – when the person speaks.
"I got you flowers," he says and it isn't Mr. Arram. "Flowers like velvet. You wanted to see them."
Gleam's throat feels dry and her heart begins to pound. Mr. Arram, she could handle. But this is someone else. Someone who has no right to be here. This is the boy who murdered Jewel and could easily kill her too.
Why is he here?
"I don't know why I'm here," he says, as though he has heard Gleam's thoughts. "I don't know why … anything. I just wanted to say goodbye. Properly. I think." He sighs deeply.
Gleam tries not to make any sound but at the same time, fury rises up in her throat and she clenches her fists. He doesn't have the right to be here, she thinks. Pretending he cares about her, after not saying a word of empathy about her after her death. Pretending he's sorry for what he did when he fully enjoyed it.
"Sometimes I'm glad I won," he says thoughtfully, oblivious to Gleam's anger or, indeed, presence. "I have everything I could ever want. But then I think about it. I think you should have won. You deserved it more.
"It hasn't solved anything, you know," and now his voice is sadder. "I'm not accepted. Everything's wrong. Winning isn't what I thought it would be. But maybe I knew that already." He sighs again. "I guess I just wanted to say sorry, Jewel. For acting like I did. For killing you and Skira. Because I won't get another chance to be sorry."
He places the flowers on the floor then leans over, kissing Jewel's forehead. Gleam moves slightly and her knee catches a nearby seat. It doesn't make much noise but he's used to listening for small sounds and instantly whirls around, on his guard.
"Who's there?" he calls. "Come out!"
Gleam stays still in the shadows. Her heart is pounding so hard that she is sure he can hear it. Panic overwhelms her. What if he gets angry and attacks her?
He shifts his gaze around the room and focuses on the spot she's standing in.
"I know you're there. Why are you spying on me?"
She takes a deep breath before moving into the moonlight. If she's going to die, she'll die with dignity. Maybe this is a good thing – facing Jewel's murderer. She can make him pay for his crimes.
"I'm not spying," she says sourly, facing him in the moonlight. "I'm here to make sure Mr. Arram-" she pauses. "-Jewel's father doesn't come exhausting himself. I have every right to be here. Why are you here?"
"I have the right to be here too," he replies quietly and she's surprised by how broken he sounds.
"No. You murdered her, Kayn Lazuli. You have no right whatsoever to be here. If you were a decent person, you would have come at a respectable time."
His face is carefully bland. "Why? So I could get what I'm getting now? All I wanted was to say goodbye to her. If I came during the day, you'd all be shouting at me."
Fury fills her mind because he's right but he's wrong. Of course they'd tell him to go away. The murderer doesn't just come back to his victim and pretend nothing happened. They have every reason to prohibit him from coming. Without knowing what she's doing, she walks towards him and shoves him in the chest. He stumbles out of the moonlight and for a moment, Gleam loses sight of him.
"Jewel always said you were a nice person," she hisses into the shadows. "And look where that got her. You didn't deserve her friendship."
He moves forwards and shrugs. "She tried to kill me too. You think I would have preferred her dying to both of us being alive?"
Gleam glares at him. "You didn't care at all about her or her family. You laughed at her when she died. You hurt her over and over. You've hurt us too. And you know what else?" She waits for a moment before delivering the punchline. "You've stopped her from ever knowing the child her mother's going to have."
His eyes widen with shock and despite herself, she grins maliciously, pleased that she can stun Kayn.
"You didn't know?" Her voice is merciless as she continues. "Yeah, well, neither did Jewel. She died, not knowing about it. And this child's going to grow up and never know its older sister. But you don't care. You didn't even think about anything like this."
"And did she?" he challenges. "Jakubar Obman had a baby niece at home. Korosh Gardiner had a fiancée. Celia Alder left a brother to the Community Home in District Eight. Did Jewel think about any of them?"
"But she didn't act like you did," Gleam replies furiously. "She didn't laugh or jeer."
"Jewel wasn't a saint, you know. She did things anyone would be ashamed of."
"Yeah, but at least she was sorry."
"How do you know?" he snaps and now he sounds furious.
"I don't," she snaps back. "Because she's dead. But I know what sort of person she was."
"So do I."
They glare at each other. It's strange but Gleam doesn't feel scared of him any more.
"Get out," she hisses. "Get the hell out of here before Calem comes. Hunger Games victor or not, he'll kill you. The only reason I'm not is because the Arrams would hate to find your body by hers."
"Fine," he growls. "I'll go. But before I do…" He fumbles in a pocket for a moment and then holds something out. Gleam takes the item. It's a ring. Her ring. The ring she gave to Jewel. "I swore to give it back."
She saw that on TV. She didn't think he would do it.
"Thank you," she whispers, stunned by his sudden change in personality.
He nods and turns to leave. Then he turns back.
"Just one more thing before I leave, Gleam," he says and there's an edge of menace in his voice. "You say I didn't care about her and that I hurt her and all of you. Well, out of all of us, I think you're all luckier."
"Huh?"
He scowls at her. "I cared about Jewel very much. And while all of you will get over her death, I won't. Every time I close my eyes, I see her and every person I killed. I can't even tell people that I'm sorry for what I did." He pauses, breathing deeply. "You'll get over it and carry on with your lives. I'll always have to live with the fact that I killed her. And you might not believe me but that's something which will haunt me forever."
Gleam stares at him.
"Goodbye, Gleam," he says before turning. For a moment, he steps directly into the moonlight and she can see his face is torn with pain. Then his steps take him back into the shadows.
Gleam realises that she has just seen the boy whom Jewel was friends with. A person neither she nor Calem or Ayla have ever really seen. A person who will never return again for the sake of the cameras and his image.
As Gleam steps back into the shadows to wait for Calem, she can't help but think that she has just seen the death of the twenty-fourth tribute.
Fin