Title: If You're Reading This
Disclaimer: I own nothing! This beautiful song was written/sung by Tim McGraw and the characters I use are owned solely by JK Rowling and Company.
Summary: If you've heard the song, you'll know what this is about. ) The idea has been almost haunting me since I heard the song for about the fifth time. I love this song and its meaning. I almost shudder to think I've teared up plenty of times of hearing it. Enjoy!
989
It'd been several tense days. No word from either side as the war raged on outside their doors. She had to constantly remind herself that while she was safe for the moment, she would never be truly safe until the dark forces were destroyed. Her brown hair hung down her back in loose curls, the length and weight of her hair had finally pulled some of the frizziness out.
She was Hermione Granger; friend to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. The brains of the operation, which is why they demanded that she stay in hiding. While angered, she understood why – of course that was several weeks after they left – but they didn't have to know that.
Her dark amber colored eyes gazed out the window for any sign of what was happening or what was to come. She'd been in this safe house for four and a half months. The safe house was outside of England, Fleur's family was kind enough to loan one of their houses to the Order of the Phoenix, though they did ask to be kept out of the war. Well except Fleur. If the part veela wasn't already several months pregnant she'd be out in the war next to her husband, Bill Weasley.
If you're reading this
My mommas sitting there
"Hermione?"
Amber eyes gazed into the reflection to see concerned gray eyes peering back at her. Those eyes reminded her so much of the young man that was lucky enough to survive the killing curse – the second in known history. "Mrs. Diggory." She greeted lowly. The younger woman didn't talk much these days. With no word from the outside she became more and more introverted bordering on laconic not saying much more than she had to.
"Please call me Caryn." She started. "Would you like to join me for tea?"
Hermione nodded, moving slowly away from the window. As she sat across the older witch she noticed truly how beautiful she was. Not just in looks, she inwardly shook her head. But overall. Hermione remembered back in fourth year, seems like so long ago she mused, when Amos Diggory was so overcome with emotion upon finding out how close he came to losing his son, she was the voice of reason. Not that she wasn't concerned about Cedric's health, but knowing how strong and loyal her son really was gave her a sense of pride.
She held herself up and calmly spoke with the Minister of Magic. Defending the terrifying memories of her son and Harry's – Lord Voldemort was back. The argument was heating up on the side of the minister before she spoke quietly to her son before following the unbelieving minister out the door. They're voices could be heard down the hallway until it faded into nothing.
Physically the woman had golden brown colored hair that when in the light showed streaks of blond and cooper and gray eyes that changed due to her mood – just like her son's. She was medium height, her son stood a couple heads taller than her, and she was curvy due to age and lifestyle. She was down to earth loving the simple life and yet in the company of other purebloods she could show them a thing or two about snobbery.
"How are you feeling?" The soft voice broke the silence causing the younger witch to glance up, her amber colored eyes wide with surprise. "I know you insist on hiding it, Hermione, but I am a mother." Deciding to be frank about it would probably be better than waiting for the girl to come to her in pain – physical or mental.
Caryn had noticed that the younger witch began to wear larger clothing, as magic had to be used sparingly due to the circumstances, and that she'd gotten paler. She'd hoped that the witch would come to her even though she wasn't the girl's mother, but naturally she hadn't.
Her suspicions said that the girl was holding more than the war on her petite frame. It was strange just how much this one young woman had captured so many hearts around her. Even her own husband, Amos, was captivated by the woman. She knew that her son liked the witch, though it was unclear how deeply his emotions were.
Cedric after the near hap on his life became a new man. He wanted to live life to the fullest, not that he hadn't before but now there was a knowledge that life could end at any moment. Something he'd placed on the backburner of his mind, like every mortal on the planet. Those who think of death often die before their time and her son was a bright star in the heavens. She firmly believed he asked her to show him her world.
The muggle-born was intelligent, there was no disputing that, but she needed someone who could teach her things she couldn't learn within the musty pages of books. Someone to teach her how to live life. She'd noticed Cedric and Hermione on the back lawn during one summer – Hermione had been placed with the Diggory's due to her parents untimely death – and while it was hard for the girl, Cedric seemed to be there in a way that no one else could be.
Harry and Ron didn't understand it, nor did Arthur or Molly Weasley. They took the news the hardest when Albus had called the two families together. The hidden undertone was that Cedric had dealt very closely with death, his own, and Albus had hoped that he could pull the witch out of her self-imposed shell.
Caryn knew very little, as she'd never asked for details from her son – who undoubtedly knew the whole story. She wanted to know, but it wasn't worth pushing the girl who had come out of her shell after a few weeks of just Cedric for company. The girl slowly started to come to meals with the family, not really saying much but willing to help clean up the dishes. Cedric once told her it helped her think to wash the dishes the muggle way – as she was an underage witch – and he more often helped dry and put them away.
A few times, Caryn herself helped dry the dishes and by doing that opened a door of communication between the pair. Slowly, Hermione began to talk. Adding her two-cents into conversations that were happening at the table, although the first time she spoke more than a handful of words it surprised the family.
Cedric had taught Hermione how to fly a broom; Caryn smiled remembering the many afternoons they spent talking about flying. Her trying to get out of learning and he trying to convince her to just try it. Finally, Cedric's patience won and he began to fly with her in front of him, letting her control the broom before letting her have her own and him flying next to her. Smiling she remembered the first time Hermione had flown by herself and how bright her smile had been. It lit up her whole face and even made it to her dark amber colored eyes.
It's been a few years since then, of course. Hermione had snuck out one night the summer before her seventh and went gallivanting around with Harry and Ron on a secret mission. This frightened the Diggory's not to mention the Weasley's, and yet it angered them. Cedric was beside himself, having become close to the young witch only to have her leave him with no note and no word to let him know she was okay.
It was a tense night between the Diggory's when the doorbell rang. The Order had been out tracking the teens looking for magical signatures but finding very little, then they began tracking the death eaters and came close several times to finding the teens but they had escaped from under the death eaters' fingers.
Cedric slowly put down his Quidditch magazine, glancing at the time before standing. "I'll get it." He said tonelessly. His footfalls were light on the carpet as his traveled his way from the parlor to the door. He carefully unlocked the door, turning the knob swinging it effortlessly open only to have his heart drop.
There stood a bruised bushy hair seventeen year old girl with amber colored eyes. Her skin was burned and her normally petite frame was replaced with an extremely small one that caused her sweater and jeans to hang as they no longer fit. "Hi." She said in a small voice, as if afraid to speak.
Cedric launching himself at her, hugging her close to him whispering words about how he missed her so much. He felt her tears on the front of his shirt, as she muttered back how sorry she was that she had to leave like that and how she missed him so much. From a distance, Caryn and Amos watched the scene with tears in their eyes.
Presently, Hermione gazed down at her hands that were now lying on her lap. "I'm not sure –"
"Hermione, it's okay." Caryn cut in, her voice soft and understanding causing the younger woman to look up at her. Her eyes were wide and moist with tears. Caryn opened her arms, allowing the younger woman to fall into her motherly hug with no judgment holding her back.
"I'm sorry, I didn't tell you earlier." Hermione sobbed. "I didn't know what to say. I'm scared."
Caryn ran her fingers soothingly through the witch's hair. "Scared?" She questioned softly. "Of what's going to happen?"
Hermione nodded. "I'm scared that he won't return to find out." She paused. "I didn't know."
Caryn's heart hurt knowing that the girl meant that the father – presumably Cedric – didn't know about the child. If the man in question didn't come back, Hermione would be a single mother. It would be had at best for her to support the child alone, even if the war hadn't been going on. "I'm here, Hermione." She decided. "No matter what happens, I will be here to help you during this time."
989
Hermione woke gasping for air. The dream and reality of the war still present in her mind and weighed heavily down on her heart. The dream had been about the time she'd spent with Ron and Harry looking for the Horcruxes. Harry had told her and Ron about his and Dumbledore's conversation about the Gaunt Ring and how it was destroyed Horcrux. The trio had decided that they needed to find the others, if in deed they did hold a piece of Voldemort's soul.
She'd made up her list and it looked a bit like this:
Horcrux Possibilities
1. Tom Riddle's Diary - Harry said Riddle preserved a memory within the diary
2. Gaunt's Ring – From what Dumbledore told Harry it had a bit of Riddle's soul but Dumbledore lifted the curse
3. Slytherin Locket – not sure where it's located, pretty sure it's a Horcrux, but probably somewhere close to Riddle
4. Hufflepuff's cup?
5. Ravenclaw's diadem?
6. Nagini?
7. Harry?
She remembered what Ron had said about Harry being a possible Horcrux, so she had crossed it out, but it made some kind of sense. He could have inadvertently transferred a piece of his soul into Harry the night his parents were murdered, but she lost that argument – Harry pointed out the prophesy had said, "…neither could live while the other survives". This brought about another argument but was settled quickly.
The dream had flashed to the moment when she'd come to destroy Hufflepuff's cup – it had been nearly impossible to get the cup but somehow they managed to get they're hands on it – she'd been banged up pretty badly but the cup no longer had a bit of Voldemort's soul. It had been then that the death eaters had begun actively fighting them. Trying to preserve what little Horcruxes that continued in their tasks.
She still felt the residual effects of the Cruciatus Curse, though she knew it wasn't the effects but rather the memory of it. She shuddered wishing away the memories as she got up from the bed.
The room that she had back at the Diggory home had been simple with a queen sized bed near the window, armoire, a simple book shelf and a desk. The bedding had been done in blues and greens with a hint of gold. The walls were painted a soft beige color and the carpet was a soft tan color. She and Cedric shared a bathroom, which was decorated in similar colors to her room as well as his own.
Unlike the one she had at the Diggory home, the room she lived in these days had several windows throughout the room lighting it up with natural light. It was nice, in a way – but lately she just wanted it to be a bit darker in her room. Everything in this room was done in pale colors. The walls were painted white; the bedding was done in both a pale pink and pale blue. It was done with a mix of sheets, one pink, and one blue with the fitted sheet being blue and the comforter being a quilt including several soft pinks and blues within the pattern. The carpet was a pale blue and the window treatment was a mix of pale pink and pale blue.
Dressing in a loose pair of blue jeans and a green shirt she'd stolen from Cedric she carefully exited her room traveling down the single flight of stairs and into the kitchen. Caryn was already there fixing eggs and bacon for herself and those who lived in the house – which weren't many – a pot of tea was sitting on the other part of the stove heating up slowly.
"Good morning, Hermione." Caryn greeted.
"G'morning, Caryn." She echoed back taking out the plates and setting the table without being asked.
The day passed quietly, Fleur joining them in the library after breakfast, only to leave a while later to take a nap. Andromeda also walked in at a certain point, though neither Caryn or Hermione could say exactly when, carrying a tiny boy in her arms sitting down next to Hermione.
This routine continued for another month or so, making it roughly five months since they left to fight. Five months with no word, no owls, no nothing. Hermione cried herself to sleep nightly because it seemed her fears were slowly becoming reality as the more time went by.
It was a raining night when Fleur gave birth to a beautiful little girl she named Abriella Jadean and a beautiful boy she named Adrien Faolán (FEH lahn) Weasley and was slowly recovering. Andromeda and Caryn were the ones that helped with the birthing process and over the next couple of days were also helping Fleur learn how to take care of her newborn twins.
Hermione also tried to help, by watching Teddy and adhering to the requests of Andromeda, Caryn and Fleur. It was several weeks later – just days after the anniversary of the Potter's death – that a low booming sound happened outside, Hermione, was the first to the window not listening to Caryn's concerned voice telling her not to. She saw several members of the Order, bloody and bruised; some were being carried along with magic others were limping as they made their way to the safe house.
With a large smile on her face, Hermione raced out of the house and into a two very tired friends' arms. Once she released the boys she began fixing them up with simple healing spells she'd been learning since before they left in search for Horcruxes. She then moved on to the next Order member, and continued until most were stable enough to be moved to the hospital in the French district of the wizarding world.
As she went soldier to soldier she didn't find the one she was looking for. She'd seen most of the Weasley's – Bill was included -, Oliver Wood, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, and lots more – Tonks and Remus were among the happy and tired survivors. Amos Diggory stayed a few feet away from her, always close by, but never close enough for her to reach him.
"Hermione." A quiet voice said behind her.
"Professor Lupin." She greeted, her amber color eyes losing the light that had been present at the soft call of her name.
Remus tiredly smiled. "Here." He handed her a folded bit of parchment, disappearing before her gaze returned to his, questions dying on her lips.
Later that night, she sat down with Caryn and Amos – it was so very silent between the trio that it was almost as though the occupants of the room were dead. Slowly she opened the letter and read the words written in Cedric's handwriting.
"Dearest Hermione,
So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul
Is where my momma always prayed it would go
And if you're reading this, I'm already home
If you're reading this
Half way around the world
I won't be there to see the birth of our little girl
I hope she looks like you
I hope she fights like me
Stand up for the innocent and the weak
If you're reading this, there's gonna come a day
You move on and find someone else and that's okay
Just remember this
I'm in a better place
Where soldiers live in peace and angels sing Amazing Grace
If you're reading this,
I'm already home.
I love you,
Cedric Diggory"
Cedriana Evelien (eh VUH leen) Diggory – with a lot of thought she decided to give her daughter Cedric's last name – was born on the cold winter day of February 5th. It seemed to Hermione that the sun shone just a bit brighter through the snow storm that was raging on outside.
Amos and Caryn Diggory smiled through their tears knowing that their son's name would always have a special place within Hermione's heart. Cedriana had Hermione's chestnut colored hair, though it showed that it was going to be wavy rather than curly and Cedric's gray eyes. Cedriana would grow up to be a strong, loyal, beautiful and intelligent woman – just like her father would have wanted.
The End
Dear Readers: (hopefully I'm not hearing crickets chirping)
Well, that was my first attempt to write anything remotely Hermione centric – without some how bringing other genres into the story – but it was also my first attempt to write anything that followed the books pretty closely. Okay, so I couldn't kill of Dumbledore, or anyone else that I've noticed to have died – not naming any characters although I apologize if you didn't know that Dumbledore died in the sixth book.
I hope that if anyone read this and liked it that you'll click on that little gray box next to "REVIEW" and leave me a note.
FYI, I – like most author's – don't tolerate flames, but I do however enjoy getting constructive criticism as it'll improve my writing skills.
I did change one word in the song – i.e. changed the word 'gun' to 'wand' as gun wouldn't have works – but also I took out the repeating chorus as I felt we wouldn't need it for the 'letter'.
Hope you liked it!
Faith16