Reno grumbled irritably as Tseng finally left his office, head aching and throbbing from the force of Tseng's yells. Tseng had been furious with him for almost a week now and had been letting him know through hours and hours of near incessant yelling. Tseng only seemed to stop when his voice couldn't carry his scorn any longer and cracked like a bassoon with a broken reed. Tseng was listing off every wrong thing Reno had done wrong since joining the Turks in such a precise, chronological order that Reno was surprised there was no powerpoint presentation behind him entitled, "Everything Reno Has Ever Done Wrong, Ever". One botched mission didn't seem horrible enough to merit this kind of treatment, but then again, it had been a fairly important mission and because of him Rude had been shot. Rude didn't seem to care though, he had actually seemed rather excited about the new scar he would receive, but since Rude expressed his feelings rarely and poorly it was hard for Reno to know if he was happy or angry. Reno would bet money Rude wasn't angry, however.
Reno was sick and tired of being yelled at; after hour number two the urge to grab his gun was overwhelming, but he wasn't sure if he'd use it on himself or Tseng so he left it where it was. Now that today's bout of yelling was over, Reno felt the need to get some kind of payback for the unjust treatment.
As soon as Tseng had slammed his office door shut, Reno had started searching through the contents of his desk with a wicked smile. He kept the powder in the same drawer where he kept his gun, and Tseng would most definitely leave him alone once he had finished using it. He grabbed the small red-capped bottle and stuffed it into his pocket, pulling the corners of his lips down before leaving the office; if Tseng saw him grin his wicked grin he would probably start yelling again about professionalism and how his actions affected others. Reno knew how his next actions would affect others, and he hoped that he would have time to enjoy the aftermath before he was killed.
Reno walked to the lobby sullenly, head down and hands stuffed into his pockets; one clutched the bottle and the other clutched lint. Rude had Tseng distracted; the bald man wasn't letting Tseng inspect the dressings on his wound and their Wutain boss was obviously cross about it. Reno nodded at Rude, pointing to the coffee maker and then back to his pocket, letting a wicked grin fill in the rest of the blanks. Rude nodded back slightly, obviously holding back a smile with difficulty, and relented to Tseng's steely gaze.
As Rude let Tseng prod and poke at his bandages, Reno made his way silently to the coffee maker. The brew in the pot was cold, giving Reno the excuse to start making more; the powder dissolved best in heat. Reno quietly discarded the old coffee and filter and rinsed the pot, looking over his shoulder to make sure Rude still had Tseng distracted; if Tseng turned around too soon then Reno's entire plan would be bust.
Thankfully Rude had Tseng's attention and didn't look keen to give it up anytime soon; he had acquiesced to letting the man unwrap his bandages to inspect the wound himself. Reno grinned and pulled the bottle from his pocket, dumping half of its contents into the bottom of the filter and covering the loose, smelly powder with pungent coffee grounds before the scent could reach Tseng's nose. He screwed the cap back onto the bottle and filled the back reservoir of the maker with water before pushing brew and waiting impatiently.
Tseng rewrapped Rude's arm with a satisfied nod, glad that it was healing properly. He sniffed eagerly and turned, the black coffee in the pot beckoning him with a scent similar to a sirens call. There was something off about the odor, but he didn't care. Reno was near the pot, sipping a mug of the coffee and avoiding Tseng's gaze irritably; Tseng supposed that he was being too harsh on the unreliable red-head, but he felt he had to be; Reno simply didn't learn his lessons on his own.
Tseng ignored Reno's attitude and grabbed a mug, making sure it was clean before he tipped the contents of the pot into it. There was something about the odor that had him confused, but he simply supposed it had been brewed with a different kind of coffee bean. He gently blew steam from the top of the mug, not catching the rather eager glance Reno shot his way that would have made him think twice about the cup in his hands. He took a sip.
Reno nearly gagged on his coffee as Tseng sputtered and coughed, face contorted in disgust. Tseng dumped the coffee mug into the sink and wiped at his tongue, not seeming to care that two of his employees were watching him act like a fool. He stuck his head under the faucet, letting cool, tasteless water run over his tongue and wash the foul flavor away. It wasn't enough, however; the taste was simply too strong to be washed off. Tseng rushed back to his office where he knew a container of mints sat, waiting for him to suck them down as fast as he could stuff them into his mouth.
Reno laughed, careful not to spill his coffee as Tseng stalked off, utterly disgusted. Rude smiled and sniffed at the coffee, "What did you put in it?"
Reno grinned his wicked grin, "Cumin powder."
Rude raised an eyebrow, "Why cumin?"
Reno shrugged and sipped at his coffee, finding the flavor delicious. "It makes it taste like taco coffee."
"That sounds disgusting." Rude wrinkled his nose and decided to leave the contents of the pot for Reno to enjoy. He looked at his arm and sighed, shaking his head. "I'll see you later, Reno. I need to go back to the infirmary and get this rewrapped. Tseng messed it up and now it's loose."
Reno nodded and watched Rude leave, sipping his coffee happily. He pulled out the remainder of his cumin container, humming softly as he tried to think of other mischievous uses for the tasty spice.
Author's Note: For those of you who have never made nor had cumin coffee, I don't suggest it. I have made it, but I've never tasted it. I've only ever made it twice and both times were to try and curtail my mom's yelling. When you mess with the coffee, you mess with life!
When I made cumin coffee the last time, I didn't mix the grounds and powder well enough and the pot overflowed because most of the cumin was at the bottom of the filter and since it's not actually meant to be brewed, the powder kept a lot of the water from pouring through right. Also, my brother, like Reno, truly enjoys cumin coffee. He drank all of it last time and my mom never got a drop so my prank was invalid. Oh well, I'll try again some other time.
NOTE: If you're going to pull this prank make sure the person you prank isn't allergic to cumin; it could have disastrous results if they are.
Oh, for anyone who thought by cumin I meant something naughty; SHAME SHAME SHAME! You dirty peoples!