I probably should work on one of my multi-chapter fics, but I really wanted to right this. So I did! Sorry to anyone watching my other stuff, I know I am very inconsistent with them. I haven't given up on them, I just haven't felt like writing anything for them.
NOTE: This was un-beta'd, because I am lazy like that. Please forgive any major errors or anything like that.
DISCLAIMER: I do not in anyway own Axis Powers Hetalia, Hetalia World Series, or any of their characters! The only thing I own is this version of New Zealand and the concept behind this fanfic!
Boredom should be against the law! Or at least, there should be a free or at least cheap way for everyone to not be bored. This was how Prussia felt as he lay on his bed down in Germany's basement. He had already counted the dots on the ceiling; 6,582,467,008…the same as always. He wondered vaguely if it would be worth it to get a toothpick from the kitchen and throw it at his ceiling, just to change the number if it struck right.
With a sigh he grabbed an expired credit card he had swiped from Germany a year ago and made his way to his bedroom door. Germany had a way of locking Prussia down in his room (AKA the basement) when he got angry with him. Prussia didn't mind this so much. One picks up many useless skills when they are given as many hours of boredom as he has had. With minimal effort, the lock was picked and Prussia was on his way upstairs.
The house was empty, and Germany had a meeting with several other nations that day. He wasn't due home until midnight, at the earliest. Wandering around Prussia began to think that striping himself naked and then baking a cake and presenting it to his little brother in nothing but a frilly white apron would be as rewarding as it sounded in his own mind. Of course, the last time he had tried this resulted in the kitchen going from shining white to…a strange assortment of colors that vaguely resembled a peacock if you tilted your head 145 degrees to the left. Not to mention that got him locked in his room for a week when Germany found out.
Sighing heavily, Prussia decided to try and be useful for a change. He decided he was going to do some spring cleaning, even though it was late summer. He found his way to an old storage room that he knew hadn't been cleaned out in at least a decade. Rummaging through the piles of junk and throwing out several boxes of magazines with pictures of nature in them, he came across one whose contents caught his interests.
He heaved the box, which weighed almost as much as he did and was thus no small feat, into the main room and set it heavily upon the floor. Wiping his brow of sweat, he opened the flaps on top and peered inside. His eyes grew wide and glowed as a huge grin spread across his face. Toys! And not the kind both he and Germany kept under their beds! These were honest-to-goodness children's playthings!
With the eagerness that could rival America in an all-you-can-eat ice cream shop, Prussia dug into the box. He removed from it many different things, including seventeen action figures, twenty-four stuffed cats, three cup-and-balls, and what appeared to be the majority of a Barbie Dream Castle, he at least figured out what he was going to do with all his new findings.
It took him an hour, but the effort paid off greatly. He had turned the entire main room into an imaginary kingdom, the Dream Castle of course being the centerpiece. He set a stuffed kitten atop this and fashioned it an origami paper crown (yet another useless talent he had picked up). Declaring the main room Awesome New Kingdom of Prussia, he laughed triumphantly and set about giving a speech to the other toys that stood in ranks like soldiers before the castle. He told them of his greatness, and how his cute kitty queen was not to be taken lightly simply because she was still a kitten.
That was, until he heard a strange bleating coming from behind him. He turned around, but saw nothing. Slowing returning his attention to his toy army, he resumed his speech, but was once again interrupted by that strange bleating. This time when he turned around, he noticed that his queen, the little stuffed kitten, was gone! He quickly announced this to his troops and ordered them to spread out and find his missing queen, at which point he began to throw them about the room.
As he was beginning to wear himself out from chucking all the various inanimate objects, his eyes fell upon a little white thing. He approached it cautiously and picked it up from the ground. He turned it over slowly in his hands.
It was the origami crown he had made. And there appeared to be a non-synthetic white hair stuck to it. He stuffed the crown into his pocket after removing this hair. He brought it to his nose and sniffed it. It smelled vaguely like grass. Why would it smell like grass? Nothing in Germany's house should smell like that. Everything was always neat and clean and smelled like it. This was obviously a clue as to who had made off with his queen.
Looking around the house, and checking every room, nook, and cranny resulted in nothing. Where had his queen gone? Prussia was starting to get pissed. That was HIS queen, he found her! And he set up her kingdom and made her crown! How dare somebody who had white hair and smelled like grass and bleated like a sheep sneak in and steal her.
Wait…
Had white hair, smelled like grass, and bleated like a sheep?
In a last ditch effort, Prussia made his way to the entry hall, the only place he had overlooked. The front door was wide open. He exited the house and looked around. In the dirt path before the house that made its way to the street were hoof prints. Prussia closed and locked the house before following these prints to the street. Pausing to think, he discovered that bits of dirt from the walk were sprinkled for about three feet and heading in the direction of a nearby park. This is where Prussia decided he needed to investigate.
Ten minutes of looking over the park was beginning to seem fruitless, until he heard somebody scream. More out of curiosity than concern, he went to check it out. Several people were running about, chasing something, trying to herd it somewhere. Being short, Prussia could see over the people to get a good look at what it was. It darted for a lake and that's when he saw it.
Clutched gently in the mouth of a white sheep was his queen! NOW Prussia was pissed. He darted straight for the sheep, faster than any of the other people in the crowd, and full-on tackled the sheep to the ground.
"Drop my queen!" he shouted.
Te sheep bleated loudly, dropping the stuffed kitten. Prussia wasn't done with the thief, however, as he wrestled the creature to the ground and pinned it into submission.
"Thought you could get away with stealing the Awesome Gilbert's queen, huh? If you were a human, I would drag you back to my room and strap you to the bed and wait a minute do I know you?" he asked, finally getting a good look at the sheep.
The sheep struggled and bleated beneath him.
"Hey, I understood that!" he cried out, letting the sheep up and sitting down beside the stuffed kitten. Once again the sheep bleated, and this time Prussia's eyes widened.
"You don't say? No wonder I can understand you! But aren't you supposed to be with Australia or something? What are you doing way over here, and why did you steal my queen?" he asked.
The sheep lowered her head and shifted uncomfortably.
"…Oh, I get it. Australia's at that meeting that West went to. And you're lonely waiting for his by yourself." The sheep nodded. Prussia's grin returned in full force as he stood and picked up the little kitten. "Then why don't you come and play with me? I've got a whole bunch of these guys you can chew on!" The sheep's eyes widened happily and she bounced around Prussia with joy. He laughed heartily at her and began to lead the way back. "Just don't eat this girl. She's my precious queen." He held up the kitten and the sheep made an awkward bow to it. Prussia laughed again. "I wonder why I've never hung out with you before, New Zealand. You seem like an awesome sheep!"
The stuffed kitten was later named Lady Meowsalot.
So, welcome to my favorite crack!pairing, PrussiaxNew Zealand! I've seen other fics with New Zealand, but he/she was always with Australia and always human. I dunno, I always thought he/she would be a sheep.
At any rate, I imagine these two to be really close buddies, and New Zealand absolutely adores the attention Prussia gives her. Others would pet her, or call her cute, or something of the sort. Prussia sees her like any other nation, and is the only one who will take her out for a night of drinking and trying to pick up random strangers. (Funny thing is, NZ's better at this than he is!)
One a side note: The number of holes in Prussia's ceiling was not as spontaneous as it may appear to be. I actually put a whole minute of thought into that number the first time it came up about three months ago. Don't ask, its a long story.
EDIT:
So I've been told that there IS a canon New Zealand, and that he/she is human. But he/she has only been drawn as a chibi on a world map or something along those lines. I haven't read all of Volume 3, and most of the NZ fics I've seen were from before Volume 3 came out. So while I may have a completely different creature as NZ here, I don't really care. To me NZ will always be a sheep, and even IF the real NZ actually DOES SOMETHING in the manga (which I actually doubt very highly) then I'll just imagine him/her as a sheep and move on.
So those of you who dislike sheepy!New Zealand can get stuffed! XD Jk, jk. *goes off to cuddle her stuffed animal sheep*