She lost both Yuri Nakamura and her humanity on that day…
But she looked much the same as before. Long, shining silver hair, soft childish features and her flawlessly neat school uniform; the only difference was in her eyes, which had always before seemed to be brimming, overflowing with emotion. They were blank. Apathic. ...Almost evil. Just empty pits of crimson, orbs filled with a bottomless depth of blood.
She would not respond to anything, didn't turn her head to look at stimuli, did not eat or sleep or speak. She could not any longer. The transformation had been completed, and so every trace of her humanity was gone.
It was exactly as Hinata had said when he found out about Angel Player. She is now only a puppet, a channel for God to enforce order.
A doll.
Nothing else.
There is a angel.
I see her when I close my eyes.
She has green eyes and red hair.
She has a strange look on her face. A look that is "sad".
I want to ask, why is she "sad".
But the words are only in my mind.
And the angel is not there.
I only see her when I close my eyes, and when I close them, tears come out.
She could not feel pain, she could not feel warmth, she could not display emotion.
They simply did not know what to do with her.
The only way they could tell she was alive was when they battled against her. Then, instead of being so seemingly emotionless and unnervingly marionette-like, she would rush onto the front lines and attack ruthlessly, slaughtering all who stood in her way.
Takeyama explained it by saying that as the complete user of Angel Player, she now displayed a ferocious survival instinct. She would kill anything that threatened her, without regard to who or what it was.
It was even more frightening than her periods of blank absence.
They try to kill me.
They try to stop me.
I do not let them.
She lived mechanically, like the magical machinery the Guild adored so much. She just carried out the necessary functions, and otherwise stood or sat at the rooftop mindlessly.
They all despaired at her condition. Even Otonashi, the newcomer despaired. Was there nothing they could do, to try to bring her back?
Their words are words that have no meaning.
Their words are not the words of God.
Their words are strange and garbled.
Unintelligible.
I cannot understand any of it.
She goes to school, attend lessons, paid attention in class and carried out the teachers' requests, while they watch her slightest movement. She is a child again, a child who knows everything and nothing, and they feel responsible for her in such terrible ways that they are unable to express.
She does things absently, as if executing such things with the smallest available part of her mind she can spare. She is like a living doll-a body that moves on its own without any visible thought process behind it.
A doll, and no more.
What hope is there?
After I dried myself and put on my clothes, I went to my table to do my homework.
On the cover of my workbook is a strange writing.
I follow it with a fingertip.
"Kanade Tachibana" it reads.
There is no meaning in it.
There is no purpose in it.
Until there is purpose, I do not do anything.
I do not need to move without a purpose.
Without a spirit.
Without a "me".
The boy with orange hair and orange eyes gives me the same look as the devil I see.
The look that is called "sad".
I do not understand.
Why are they "sad" when they see me?
What is there to be "sad" about?
I am what I am, what I am meant to be.
I await my purpose.
Until then...
Nothing matters...
Nothing to be "sad" about...
She is merely a doll clinging to the very edge of existence.
She of that was the Angel. Just a soul who denied reality.
When Yuri died, Kanade died on that day too.
Both Kanade and Yuri are now cuddled up with each other on a little boat sailing on the river of dreams.
And they never will reach the end… just drifting for life...