I Lied
"Bella, there's something that I must tell you." Edward began, grabbing Bella's hands.
"Can it wait, honey? Renesmee and I were going to go hit the mall." Bella said, shaking out her hair. He blinked at her, desperately trying to catch a stray thought slip past her shields, but to no avail.
"Bella, I lied to you." That stopped Bella in her tracks. She put down her make-up and started at Edward.
"How could you, Edward?" She hissed.
"Why are you attacking me, woman! I haven't even told you what I lied to you about!" Edward defended himself.
"Fine." She snapped. "What did you lie to me about?"
"You know how I told you that entire 'I'm a virgin!' thing?" Bella stared blankly at her vampire husband, trying desperately to add two and two but kept coming up with one. "I lied." Edward went on.
"How could you, Edward?" Bella hissed, stamping her foot- the house shook on its foundation.
"Don't be stupid, Bella. What sort of idiot, immortal guy doesn't have sex? That's completely absurd!"
"Who was she?" Bella hissed, her arms crossed over her chest. "Well! Tell me about the little hussy!"
Hollywood, 1920
"Oh, come on, Eddy-poo! You stay the night, but then you never offer to buy me breakfast! What gives, honey-bear?" Edward, who was dressing, simply looked over his shoulder at the blond harlot laying in a bed. "Oh my god. You have a wife. And kids. Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Ohmigod."
Present
"And then she passed out from lack of oxygen." Edward finished lamely. "Being such a new vampire, I had forgotten that my lungs no longer worked, so I tried to give her CPR. Snapped her neck. I panicked, then just... Ate her."
"Okay. You drained her. Then what did you do with the-"
"No, Bella. I didn't just drain her... I literally ate her, skin, muscle... I even gnawed through her bones." Bella looked like she was going to be sick- if she were still human, she probably would have thrown up. "I didn't even think such sinful thoughts for several more years because of Betty."
"Oh god, Edward..."
"Then, there was Faye."
Oklahoma City, 1946
"You just gettin' back from war, sugah?" She asked, unbuttoning Edward's jacket.
"Mm, yeah, baby. I fought really good just for you to-"
Present
"OH GOD!" Bella yelled, slapping Edward so hard across the cheek, he flew into the wall. "I don't want to hear about your trysts in detail, you man-whore! You disgust me, Edward Cullen!" Bella spat on Edward's limp form before stomping to the front door. She wrenched it open, only to come face-to-face with a pale, red-headed woman, who's skin was faintly sparkling in the late afternoon sun filtering through the trees.
"Eve'n, sugah." She greeted Bella with a feral smile. "You wouldn't happen to know where Edward, is, would ya? I asked up at the main house, and theys said that he was livin' out here."
"You wouldn't happen to be Faye, would you?"
"Un, no. Faye's my late mama. She died when I was born. Ya see, I'm one of them fancy vampire-human hybrids. The name's Vicky." The next thing Vicky knew, she was flying through the forest, crashing through several trees before she came to a painful stop near the baseball fields. "Aw, shiiiiit, woman!" Vicky cursed as she stood, brushing herself off. "And all Is wanted ta do was ta find my daddy, Edward Cullen."