One Step Up
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. Just mine. I took the flashbacks from the script so they're accurate. Everything that isn't a flashback is my original writing. Sorry if Dean is a little OOC. I'm still working on getting him just right...
I am very Jo/Dean, and this scene just came to me when rewatching "Abandon All Hope"
Spoilers up to 6x11, so if you haven't seen it, don't read!
The knock at the motel room door was unexpected. Sam and Dean had been in New York for a couple of days, obtaining a few items from their father's storage unit before wrapping up a hunt outside of Saratoga Springs. Sam had gone out for coffee before they were due to hit the road for South Dakota to check in on Bobby, who'd called the night before. Of course, it was hard to answer your cell phone when a nasty poltergeist was passing time by throwing you around the house. No one ever knocked on their door, aside from housekeeping, and she'd already showed up, flirted, changed the linens, and left.
Making sure he tucked his gun into his belt, Dean got up, walking over to the door and pulling it open. To his surprise, there was a young woman with long brown hair standing outside, a backpack slung over her shoulder.
" Please tell me you're Dean Winchester," she said. " Bobby wasn't clear on what room you were in, and the last couple of people were pretty mad."
" Who are you?" Dean asked.
" Bobby didn't tell you?" she asked, her green eyes showing confusion. " He said he'd call and let you know I was coming. If you're Dean, that is. I'm Amy."
" You got a last name or is it like a Madonna thing?"
" Cute," Amy said." It's Harvelle."
" Harvelle..."
" As in Bill, Ellen, and Jo, yes," Amy said. " So...are you gonna let me in? Long drive from Manhattan."
Dean stepped aside, letting her in. Amy walked in, setting her backpack on the floor.
" Before you say anything, I'm not a demon," she said. " You can test me."
" Who are you exactly?" Dean asked. " The prodigal daughter or something?"
" Hardly," Amy said. " Jo's my cousin. My dad and Bill were brothers."
" Are you a hunter?"
" Not anymore," Amy said. " I was, but now I'm just a broke grad student. I know my way around the hunting world though."
" So then what do you want with me?" Dean asked. Amy looked at him, her expression serious.
" I've been trying to find out what happened to Jo and Ellen," she said. " Dad said that she and Bobby Singer were in contact, and when I called him, he told me you could help. Lucky for me, you were in New York."
" Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but Jo and Ellen are-."
" I know they're dead," Amy said. " I...wanna know what happened."
Dean instantly froze up, looking at her. The memory wasn't something he particularly wanted to revisit, a part of his life he'd been more than happy to say goodbye to once upon a time.
" Amy..." he trailed off.
" I'm sorry to bring it up after all this time, but...my side of the family doesn't really keep too much with Jo's as of late. My mom hates this whole hunting life. But, you know, it's family. Jo and I were close once."
" Mm," Dean said. Amy looked at him for a moment, studying his expression.
" Listen," she said. " I'll be here in town for the weekend, but on Sunday, I've gotta drive back. I'm not gonna force it out of you, but..."
She trailed off, looking out the window.
" I've got an art project to finish," she said. " So I'll be out in Saratoga Park for the rest of the day."
With that, she opened the door to the motel room, putting her sunglasses back on.
" See you, Dean," she said. As she closed the door behind her, cutting off the sunlight that had streamed in, Dean just stood there, looking at the place where she'd stood. He wasn't sure why such a simple request had hit him so hard, or why he found it so difficult to look her in the eye. He was sure he'd put that particular moment into his past, but found that Meg's reappearance six months ago had made Jo and Ellen's death come flying back into his mind.
With a sigh, Dean grabbed the bottle of Jack he kept on hand, pouring himself a glass. Why was he so stressed? Amy hadn't tied him and tortured him for information, threatening his life if she didn't get what she wanted. He could easily get in the car and just drive off, leaving the memory behind forever.
Dean took a swig from his glass before sitting down on the bed to think.
Upstate New York was nice in the spring, especially when it started to get warm. Locals were taking full advantage of the nicer weather in Saratoga Park, running around and spending the day out in the sun. Dean walked past little kids playing innocent games in the grass as their parents chatted about whatever was going on in their quiet existences. He wandered past a young couple sitting together on a blanket, enjoying a picnic together, oblivious to anything else. All of these people, so normal, so carefree in their day off. He found himself envying them more than ever, thinking of his shattered chance at a normal life. Now was not the time to feel sorry for himself. He had something to do.
Off in the distance, where revelry became less prominent and foliage more, Dean could see a figure stretched out on the grass, looking up at the sky. He stopped for a moment, debating whether or not to turn back. He was still far enough away that she'd never even know he'd been there.
His hands in his pockets, Dean walked over to where Amy was laying. She had her eyes closed, her art supplies abandoned in the grass. The girl opened her eyes as he sat down on the grass beside her. He looked at her for a moment before turning his gaze to the expanse of field. She didn't turn to him, just kept her eyes up towards the clouds.
" You know, Jo used to tell me that she could see faces," she said. Dean looked over. " The people who've crossed over from this world to the next. She would say they're always there, watching us. Waiting for us to join them. Just like Uncle Bill."
She looked over at him, a wry chuckle escaping her lips.
" I actually wondered if there really is a Heaven," she said. " Never seen anything to convince me either way."
" You really want the answer to that?" Dean asked quietly. Amy looked over, studying his expression.
" I guess not," she said. Dean nodded. " But you know what I do want."
" Amy..."
" Why else would you be out here right now?" Amy asked, propping herself up on her elbows. " Bird-watching?"
Dean just looked down at the ground, his shoulders heavy. He could still remember that day, clearer than ever despite passing time. Though it had been over two years since it had happened, it still felt fresh. Because on the worst nights, the nights when he had felt most overwhelmed with loss and pain over Sam, he found his thoughts drifting back to her. It was almost as though the days just didn't matter anymore, an endless loop of robotic motion through his life. When Sam had sacrificed himself, it had only added to the searing pain he already felt.
Now, time had finally been on his side. Sam had had his soul back for six months, and so far, everything had gone as smoothly as he'd dared to believe. The brothers were back on the same page, but Dean was still haunted by the memory of a small girl with pained brown eyes. It only made sense that now, when he'd had nothing else to grieve for, that this living reminder had showed up in his life with questions he'd tried so hard to bury the answers to. He wanted to blame her for drudging up the memories, but he couldn't. She deserved to know what had happened to her family.
" Dean," the voice said, breaking him from his thoughts. He hadn't realized it at first, but Amy and Jo sounded a lot alike, especially when they were persistent. He looked over at her, seeing a waiting, pleading expression on the girl's face. She'd been right. He had come to this field for a reason. Only he could carry out her wish.
" Carthage, Missouri," he finally said.
Carthage, Missouri- Two Years Ago
" Well this is great," Dean said as he, Sam, Jo, and Ellen walked through the deserted town, shotguns in hand, " been in town twenty minutes and we've already lost the angel up our sleeve."
" Think Lucifer got him?" Sam asked.
" I don't know what else to think," Dean said.
" There you are," a voice said, cutting through the eerie quiet. The hunters turned, aiming their guns, to see their new acquaintance, a face that Sam and Dean could recognize at the drop of a hat.
" Meg," Sam answered, filling any and all questions anyone might have had.
" Shouldn't have come here, boys," Meg said, her smug expression lighting a fire within Dean.
" Hell, I could say the same thing for you," he said, stepping forward and aiming the Colt at her.
" Didn't come here alone, Deano," Meg said. Before anyone could question what she meant, something splashed splashed in a puddle near her feet, and the sound of barking and growling filled the air. Sam, Jo, and Ellen looked for the source of the noise, but Dean didn't need to. End up on the wrong side of a Hellhound's claws and you'll know them forever.
" Hellhounds," he said.
" Yeah, Dean," Meg said with a smile. " Your favorite!"
Dean just kept his glare at Meg, trying not to look afraid.
" Come on boys," Meg said. " My father wants to see you."
" Think we'll pass, thanks," Sam said.
" Your call," Meg said. " You can make this easy or you can make it really, really hard."
Scowling at her condescending tone, Dean turned back to Ellen, who nodded. Now or never.
" When have you known us to ever make anything easy?" he said, looking back at Meg. The demon shook her head, and Dean took advantage of the moment, aiming the shotgun in the direction of the Hellhound at her feet and firing. Blood spurted up as the dog's yelp filled the air.
" Run!" Sam said. The hunters took off as the remaining hounds chased after them. Dean suddenly pitched forward, tackled by a Hellhound, and Jo turned back, seeing him fall.
" Dean!" she said.
" Jo, stay back!" Dean yelled. Better him than her. Jo fired her shotgun in his direction, towards the Hellhound that had tackled him. Ellen and Sam stopped running, turning back to the others. Determined to save them, Jo kept firing, knocking the Hellhound further and further back. Before she could take aim, another got her from the side, knocking her to the ground.
" No!" Ellen cried out. The hound tore at Jo's stomach, shredding her, and she cried out in pain. Sam and Ellen started firing at the dog as Dean ran over to Jo, scooping her up and running off with her as they headed for one of the nearest stores. Sam continued to fire into the hounds, keeping them at bay.
New York-Present
" We called Bobby," Dean said. " He told us where we had to go to find the devil, but Jo...it was really bad. We didn't know how we were gonna get her and Ellen safe..."
He broke off, looking down at the grass again.
Carthage, Missouri- Two Years Ago
Jo sat slumped against the counter in the hardware store, weak. Her mother was reassuring her that she was doing fine, that she'd be okay, but Jo just stared off into space, thinking carefully. A few feet away, Sam and Dean were in conversation.
" Now we know where the devil's gonna be, we know when, and we have the Colt," Dean was saying.
" Yeah. We just have to get past eight or so hellhounds and get to the farm by midnight," Sam said.
" Yeah, and that's after we get Jo and Ellen the hell out of town."
" Won't be easy," Sam said, stating the obvious.
" Stretcher?" Dean suggested.
" I'll see what we've got," Sam said, turning to go search.
" Guys, stop," a weak voice said. The boys turned to see that Jo had broken her silence. Ellen looked at her daughter, confused.
" Can we, uh, be realistic about this, please?" Jo said as the boys walked over. " I can't move my legs. I can't be moved. My guts are being held in by an ace bandage. We gotta get our priorities straight here."
Sam and Dean looked at each other before turning their gaze back to Jo. Whatever she had in mind, it wasn't going to be good.
" Number one, I'm not going anywhere."
" Joanna Beth, you stop talking like that," Ellen said. Jo looked at her mother.
" Mom. I can't fight. I can't walk. But I can do something. We got propane, wiring, rock salt, iron nails, everything we need."
" Everything we need?" Sam questioned.
" To build a bomb, Sam," Jo said. Dean looked up, surprised.
" No," he affirmed. " Jo, no."
" You got another plan? You got any other plan?" the girl asked. " Those are hellhounds out there, Dean."
She looked at him pointedly, her eyes saying "You understand, Dean. Better than anyone."
" They've got all of our scents. Those bitches will never stop coming after you. We let the dogs in, you guys hit the roof, make a break for the building next over. I can wait here with my finger on the button, rip those mutts a new one. Or at least get you a few minutes' head start, anyway."
Jo chuckled painfully, obviously producing a mental just desserts for the hounds that tore her up.
" No, I won't let you," Ellen said, tears in her eyes.
" This is why we're here, right?" Jo said. Ellen shook her head, crying. " If I can get us a shot on the Devil...Dean, we have to take it."
" No!" Ellen said, looking desperately at Dean. " That's not-."
" Mom," Jo said, her voice firm but assuring. " This might literally be your last chance to treat me like an adult. Might wanna take it?"
Through her pain, Jo was smiling, looking at her mother with tears in her eyes. Ellen started to cry.
" You heard her," she said over her shoulder to the boys. " Get to work."
On Ellen's command, the boys worked to gather the materials for the bombs, setting them up for detonation. When they'd finished, night had fallen, and Sam knelt by Jo, holding her hand for comfort. He'd never had much interaction with Jo, save for when the demon they'd faced earlier that day had taken over his body and forced him to attack her, but that didn't make it hurt any less. In a perfect world, they could've been close. Of course, now they wouldn't have the chance.
Dean walked over, stringing together the wires to the button that Jo would use to detonate the bombs. Sam got to his feet, knowing full well that this moment wasn't for him. Dean took his place kneeling by Jo, and put the device in her small hand, holding it with his own for a beat.
" Okay, this is it," he said. " I'll see you on the other side. Probably sooner than later."
Jo just looked at him, putting on a brave smile as she handed him her gun.
" Make it later," she said. Her was ice cold, and Dean let go, putting his hands on either side of her face and bringing his lips to her forehead. Thank you.
Dean looked at her, just taking in everything he would soon miss. Far from the disillusioned bartender in Nebraska, Jo had changed, grown into a hunter her father would've been proud of. Suddenly, in a matter of seconds, Dean found himself thinking of what might have been, if only he had time. He then kissed her, this time on the lips, conveying a different message this time. I'm sorry was first. Goodbye was next. What was left...only his heart could tell, as his words would always fail him. But somehow, he knew that Jo got the message. Just like Ellen said, she wasn't stupid. He leaned their heads together for a moment, finding the strength to let go, before getting to his feet. The space left by him was soon filled by Ellen, as she sat beside her. Mother and daughter just looked at each other, and Ellen smiled.
" Mom, no," Jo said, realizing what Ellen was getting at.
" Somebody's gotta let them in," Ellen said. " Like you said, you're not moving. You got me, Jo. And you're right, this is important."
Jo nodded, and Ellen put a hand to her daughter's cheek, reassuring her in the eleventh hour.
"But I will not leave you here alone."
" Dean-."
" Get going now, boys," Ellen said, cutting Sam off.
" Ellen-."
" I said go," Ellen said before Dean could finish. At a loss, the boys looked at each other before turning away. Ellen looked over her shoulder at them. " And Dean?"
The elder Winchester turned to look at her.
" Kick it in the ass," she said, determined to the end. " Don't miss."
New York-Present
Dean was lying beside Amy now, looking up at the afternoon sky as well. After he'd finished telling her the story of her family, both had fallen into silence. He dared to look at her to see if he could read what she was thinking. Her silence was a bit unnerving, as he had expected her to go the route a hasty Jo had once gone in regards to her father's death, and lash out at him, yelling that it was his fault. He admitted to himself that had Jo not gone back to save him in Carthage, she might've still been alive. There were nights he replayed the memory in his head, trying to see otherwise, but only came to the conclusion that it was his fault. Even if rationalization kept him from blaming the single event on himself, he was at fault for what led up to it: the apocalypse.
" You gotta say something here," he finally said, breaking the silence as he sat up. Amy looked over at him.
" Like what?" she asked. " I wanted to know what happened. Now I do."
" And...that's it?"
" I just thought you'd be more...I don't know," Dean said. " What is this, comforting or something?"
" In an odd way, yes," Amy said. " Still think it's your fault?"
" Who said I think that?" Dean asked, caught slightly off guard.
" I could see it in your face when you told the story," Amy said. " Among other things."
" Don't psychoanalyze me," Dean said.
" It's not psych stuff," Amy said, sitting up as well, hugging her knees. " Jo spoke highly of you, and I get why. But Dean, she wouldn't want you to still be eating yourself up about it. Jo and I knew the occupational hazards of our family's business. That's why I chose NYU and a normal life. Jo chose to hunt. And from what you told me...it looks like she chose right. Even though she's gone...it's what she really was. A hunter."
Dean looked over at her. Amy just smiled at him, understanding in her expression. His own sad smile was haunted, still marked with pain. It was just the years of taking the world's weight upon his shoulders that garnered such a response, but with one less person's anger, he couldn't help but feel a slight bit of hope.
Inside the motel room, Sam and Amy were talking together as she put her things back into her backpack, laughing, while Dean stood by the dresser, deep in thought. Once again, his thoughts lingered on Jo, differently than they had before. He pushed away thoughts of a sad, broken girl in her final moments and the pain of a stolen future, instead focusing on what he had that was good, as scarce as those moments were. Her smile, reflected in the sunny afternoon in the field. Her determination to carry on her father's work, something she'd accomplished in such little time, only to be cut down in her prime. Her innocent eyes that had carried such an important message as he'd kissed her goodbye, instilling in him a clear-cut mission to stop the Devil. Everything about her was clearer than usual, the fog beginning to dissipate now that he'd realized exactly how much Jo's death had hurt him and why it did. Someday, he would forgive himself. Someday, he'd see her again.
" Well, I'd better get going," Amy's voice said, bringing Dean from his thoughts. He looked up to see her sling her backpack over her shoulder, putting her hands in her jacket pockets. " Keep in touch, 'kay?"
" No problem," Sam said. Amy smiled at him before looking over at Dean.
" I'll, uh...walk you out," he said. Sam sat down at his laptop as Dean followed Amy out of the motel room, closing the door behind him. She turned to him, a smile on her face.
" Pretty cool to finally put a face to the name," she said. " I wondered if I'd get to meet you and Sam."
They shared a smile for a moment before Amy reached out, taking his hand and squeezing it.
" See you around?"
" Yeah," Dean said with a smile. " See you around. Maybe sooner than you think."
" Liar," Amy teased. Dean chuckled. He held up the piece of paper with Amy's phone number, tucking it into his shirt pocket.
" Bye Amy," he said.
" Bye Dean," the girl said. She let her gaze linger on him for a beat before walking over to her car and getting inside. She looked out from the driver's seat and waved goodbye before putting the car in drive. Dean just watched the car leave the motel parking lot and waved. Something caught his attention off in the countryside to his left and he looked to see a lone figure standing there. He stared at Jo as she stood there, watching him with a peaceful smile on her face, her hands in her jeans pockets. They held each other's gazes for a moment before Dean smiled as well. Jo turned, walking off down the road, fading away as she did so.
END: I left it ambiguous, just in case I write more stories :)
Review please!