Hey guys. This is my newest fic. It's based off of spoilers from past and future episodes, so if you don't want to be spoiled, don't read it (at least until after Tuesday haha)
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and as much as I would love to take credit for Glee, that belongs to Ryan Murphy. The song is Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse.
Whatever It Takes
"Did you kiss her? Like Santana said?"
"Yeah, yeah but I just needed to get it out of my system."
"So what did it feel like...when you kissed her?
"Fireworks."
"Did you see fireworks when you kissed me?"
"Rachel wait..."
"No...it's good. Thank you, you've given me the strength to move on. I know that there's nothing here for me anymore."
"That's not the truth. I still...I-I'm just...I'm so confused in my head right now."
"That's ok...I understand. Now I'm free to pursue my dreams without anything holding me back. You've actually inspired my song selection for this week's love song assignment. Feel better Finn."
Finn sighed as he laid in his bed replaying the last conversation he had with Rachel two weeks ago in his head. He had been out of school since then with a case of mono. While he loved the fact that he got to miss school, cause lets face it nobody likes to do school work, his time away had also given him time to think...alot. His thinking had actually resulted in an even bigger headache than the one he already had, that was being caused by the mono.
If this is punishment for kissing Quinn, he had definitely learned his lesson. It wasn't worth it. He had spent days going back and fourth between thinking about Quinn and Rachel. The more he thought about Quinn, the more he felt like a total hypocrite. Here he was pissed at Rachel for cheating on him Puck, when he was helping Quinn do the same thing to her boyfriend. Sam, a guy he had considered a friend.
Some friend I am. He thought to himself.
His thoughts drifted back to Rachel and their conversation. He had spent weeks avoiding her, despite her continued attempts at pursuing him. Then one day, he wasn't even sure when it happened, he just started talking to her again. Maybe it was after her and the other Glee girls helped them win the football game and he saw her in her uniform looking adorable. Maybe it was after he saw how beautiful and appreciative she had looked when he gave her the necklace he had meant to give her for Christmas. She had looked at him so adoringly, it took all he had not to kiss her, and to remember why he was even mad at her in the first place.
All that he knew was that now she was constantly on his mind. He could remember the look on her face when she had asked him if he felt fireworks when they kissed, and he didn't give her an answer. Mainly because he was trying to think of the right words to explain what it felt like to kiss her. It was more than fireworks. That much he knew...it was so much more.
"Stupid idiot." He said to himself, smacking himself on the head. "Why couldn't I have given her an answer?"
The last thing he remembered about that conversation, before completely passing out from exhaustion, was the sad smile she had given him as she walked out of the nurses office. It literally tore his heart in two just thinking about that look. He knew she talked about focusing on her career and being grateful to him for giving her the strength to let go...but he could also see the pain and heartbreak in her expression.
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Over the next few days, Finn returned to school and started getting his life back on track. He still thought about Rachel alot, and he knew he had to at least make something right with her.
He spotted her by her locker talking to Mercedes, who it seemed like overnight had become her new best friend. I used to be her best friend. He thought sadly.
"Hey Rach, can we talk? He asked.
Rachel looked at him surprised. Mercedes gave her a look that said she would be willing to kick some butt, if that's what Rachel wanted. Rachel just nodded to her, in a silent attempt to say that it would be ok.
"Sure Finn." She smiled slightly at him as Mercedes walked away.
"I..I wanted to apologize to you for what happened in the nurses office that day." Finn explained.
"Apologize? For what? You didn't do anything except tell me the truth. Deep down it was nothing that I didn't already know." Rachel said.
"No, but it wasn't the truth...not really. You never let me finish what I wanted to say." Finn explained.
"What more was there to say? You said you felt fireworks with Quinn that you never felt with me." Rachel reminded him.
"No...your putting words in my mouth. I never said anything like that."
"No your right, you never said anything. I got my answer from that." Rachel said sounding a little angry.
"Because I was trying to come up with a proper answer for once. I thought you deserved that much." Finn stated.
"Ok, you wanted to give me a proper answer...then go ahead, I'm listening." Rachel said in frustration.
"I...I..." He blanked.
"That's what I thought." Rachel said. "It was good talking to you Finn, but if you don't mind I'm going to pretend like this conversation never happened. I am finally moving on and I don't want anything to mess that up." And with that she walked away.
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
Finn sighed. That conversation had not gone at all like he planned. He knew he was going to have to pull out the bigger guns if he wanted to even have a chance at talking to Rachel.
Three days later, Finn finally felt like things were looking up for him. He had finally had a conversation with Rachel that felt like almost...normal. He had even gotten a smile out of her, not that she'd noticed that he had seen her smile.
"You really believe in me that much?"
"More. You know, I really liked the Rachel that I saw in there today. It reminded me of the old you...focused and take no prisoners. I think she might be making a comeback."
He smiled as he thought about the last words he had said to her and the shy, but bright smile on her face that followed. It was true, the Rachel Berry he had fallen in love with was back, or well on her way...not that she had ever really went away, more like she had been in hiding for the last few months.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he was done with being angry at her. He was ready to bury those feelings and the things that caused them in the past, to be forever locked away. He was finally ready to forgive her. He knew they had things that they needed to talk about, but he was finally ready to hear her out, as much as it may hurt. He knew he had been in the wrong to.
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
He thoughts were halted when he heard the voices of Santana and Puck.
"Did you hear about the party at Berry's?" Santana said into her phone. "It's going to be a train wreck."
"Totally, but at the same time her parents left her alone for the weekend. It's like they were granting her permission to party." Puck said. "Besides, who do you think convinced her to throw it?"
Santana scoffed. "As long as there's alcohol, I'm there."
"Berry said no alcohol." Puck said. "But I'm sure if I bring a kegger and get her drunk enough, she won't care. She could stand to loosen up a little."
Finn gasped and wanted to ram his fist into Puck's face. He was talking about getting Rachel...his Rachel drunk. Finn knew Rachel had her morals, and those morals included being against drinking at their age. Finn decided then and there that he would be attending that party, whether he was invited or not. If nothing else, he would be there to keep an eye on Rachel, make sure she was safe.
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
Santana was right. The party was a train wreck. Rachel's normally immaculate (a Rachel word) was trashed. The couch cushions were thrown all over the floor, beer was spilled on basically every flat surface, the carpet was stained in stuff that Finn didn't even want to know, and garbage was everywhere. It was just the Glee club, plus Kurt and Blaine, but it looked like there had been a 100 people in the house. Everyone was drunk...well except Finn.
Finn had been determined to stay sober, claiming that he was doing so, so that people would have a safe ride home if need be. That part was true, but he was also there to keep an on on Rachel. At first it had seemed like she was going to resist Puck's attempts to get her to drink, but after awhile and after getting tired of chasing after everybody else who was drinking, she had joined in the madness to.
Right now she and Kurt's friend, Blaine, were singing a duet of "Don't You Want Me". Finn could swear he saw Rachel glance at him, when it came to her part, but she looked away as soon as he noticed her. He had to smile at that. She really was adorable when she was drunk.
"Alright, enough of this. Let's play Spin The Bottle." Santana suggested with an evil grin on her face. It looked like she had her eyes on Brittany, who was busy making out in the middle of Rachel's living room with Artie.
"I don't know if that's such a great idea." Finn said.
"Oh come on Frankenteen. Loosen up. Even the munchkin that you called a girlfriend, let go a little." Santana said and pointed over to Rachel, who was now stumbling around with Mercedes, talking to Tina and Mike.
Finn sighed in resignation. "Fine." He agreed.
Twenty minutes later, everyone was in full game mode. So far things had been pretty tame. Brittany had to kiss Artie, Mercedes kissed Sam and Brittany had pecked Finn. The only real issue was Quinn had kissed Puck and it was a little too heated for Sam's liking. Finn had shrugged when Sam had looked at him. Puck and Quinn had a history, it was kind of to be expected.
Finn found himself waiting for Rachel's turn to come around, hoping that the bottle would land on him. At least he wouldn't take advantage of her drunken state, like some of the other guys (**Puck**). Rachel's turn finally came and she spun the bottle. Finn sighed dejectedly when it landed on Blaine. At least he wouldn't have to worry about Blaine taking advantage of her. But as the two kissed, Finn grew worried. Somewhere along the way, Blaine's hand had ended up in Rachel's hair, pulling her closer, and Rachel even looked like she was enjoying it. Finn's eyes landed on Kurts, who looked more than a little peeved. That was not how gay guys were supposed to kiss girls.
"Alright, enough already. Get a room, Manhands. If you are that desperate." Quinn said with a smug grin on her face.
Blaine and Rachel pulled apart, both gasping for breath. Finn took the oppotunity to grab a hold of Rachel and throw her over his shoulder.
"Alright, not exactly what I had in mind, but that works to." Quinn said as Finn walked towards the stairs, to take Rachel to her room. Enough was enough, the party needed to end, before things got too out of hand.
"F-finnnn put me down." Rachel stuttered, while clumsily attempting to hit his back.
"Not a chance. Your going to bed." Finn said, knowing she would argue.
"Not tired...having fun." Rachel said, despite having to yawn in between.
"I know you were, but it is seriously late. I'm getting you to bed, then I'm kicking everyone else out." Finn said.
"Your no fun." She said petuantly. She crossed her arms as he dropped her on her bed and threw the covers over her. She looked like a pouting 5 yr old.
"Sleep." Finn said and placed a kiss on her forehead, the way he would have if he were tucking in a small child.
He took one last look at her before going back downstairs to kick everyone out. After everyone had left, he cleaned up the house (well as much as he could) and then went up to Rachel's room to check on her. She was still in the same position he had left her in before. Her arms flopped out across the bed, her head tossed to the side and her hair fanned out on the pillow. She was also snoring lightly, which Finn thought was cute.
This girl was going to be the death of him, he knew that. Oddly enough, he found himself falling he more in love with her. Seeing her and Blaine kissing had been like a kick in the gut. He never wanted to witness anything like that again. When she woke up in the morning and was sobered up, they were going to talk.
Finn slept on the couch that night and woke the next morning to hear Rachel in the bathroom...very obviously throwing up. He rolled his eyes. He knew she would end up being a lightweight, with her size and everything.
"Rach, are you ok?" He asked as he knocked on the door.
"Go away." She cried in embarassment.
"I don't think so." Finn said stubbornly. "Once your sober, we're going to have a long talk."
"Sorry Dad I didn't realize there was anything to talk about." Rachel exclaimed as she opened the door.
"Go in the kitchen. There's two aspirins on the counter and a glass of water. Grab a banana and meet me on the couch." He said choosing to ignore her sarcasm.
"Fine." Rachel said.
Five minutes later, Rachel finally emerged from the kitchen and took a seat on her couch. "You cleaned up?" She asked as she surveyed the room.
"You didn't think I was going to leave it like that did you? Your Dad's would have grounded you for life if they had seen the state of the house. I know how much pride you take in the fact that your Dad's trust you." Finn stated.
"I wish Noah understood that. I told him I didn't think a party was a good idea, but he swore it would be fun and that there wouldn't be any trouble." Rachel said with a exaggerated sigh. "I guess that went to hell."
Finn chuckled at her use of profane language. Something she only used when she was annoyed or angry. "Rule number one, never trust what Puck says when it comes to partying."
Rachel nodded. "So why are you still here? You said we needed to talk..."
Finn smiled. Leave it to her to get down to business. "We do. I'm here because, despite the fact that we haven't exactly been close lately, I still care about you. I know you have your morals and all and I didn't want to see you get hurt or do something you'd regret."
Rachel smiled slightly at that, but then frowned. "I didn't do anything too stupid, did I?"
"You don't remember?"
Rachel shook her head. "I remember singing that song with Blaine, and then he fell over and that's it."
Finn sighed. She really wasn't going to like the rest. "Well you kind made out with Blaine when we played Spin the Bottle."
"I..what?" Her eyes went wide and she froze with a hand over her mouth. "Oh God, I can't believe I did that. Kurt is never going to trust me again. Just when I finally made a few friends..."
"Rach, it's ok. Kurt knew you had been drinking, he knew it didn't mean anything, I'm sure. Try not to worry. I will talk to him. Besides, it's not like you even remember it." Finn said and he had to admit, he was glad for that fact.
"So you stayed here all night?" Rachel asked. Finn nodded. "But why?"
"Because I care about you. Because I really wanted to get a chance to talk to you about some things." Finn answered.
"Oh? What did you want to talk about?" Rachel asked.
"Us." He replied. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I do mean alot, and I think I'm ready to forgive you."
"Really?" Rachel asked surprised, but she sounded happy. That was a good sign.
Finn nodded. "I miss you Rach, and I'm smart enough to realize we need to talk about some things first, but I think I'm ready to be together again...or at least be friends first."
Rachel nodded. "Friends, I can do that...for now." She smiled slightly. "But Finn, if things are going to work between us, we have to be honest with eachother...always. No more hiding our feelings. We need to share it all. You've gotta tell me everything, even stuff you feel you need to protect me from. Don't keep anything inside and I will do the same for you. Like it or not, that's the way it has to be."
Finn smiled. "I was thinking the same thing." He said with a laugh. "Rach, I gotta tell you, when I saw you kissing Blaine, it sparked something inside of me. I guess I just realized, I am never going to let you go again. It was agony seeing you kiss him. I felt like my heart was being ripped into a million little pieces."
Rachel smiled sympathetically. "I'm so sorry Finn. Now you realize how I felt seeing you kiss Quinn. How come you could forgive her, but not me even though what she did was a hundred times worse?"
"Because I never loved Quinn the way I love you." Finn answered as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "I never have and never will. You are it for me."
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
Rachel hugged Finn and snuggled into his side. "Finn, where do we go from here?"
Finn shrugged. "I don't know about you, but I think we need to be friends first, get to know eachother again, get to trust eachother again. We need to talk everything out, and then maybe..in the near future, we can be together again."
"So start over?" Rachel asked.
"Not start over, cause that would mean we were trying to erase our past, and I don't want to do that. It's more like a fresh start."
"I can do that." Rachel agreed. "I'll do whatever it takes."
"Me too." Finn said. "To keep us together...hopefully forever."
"Forever." Rachel smiled. "I like the sound of that."
Finn laughed and pulled her close, wanting to kiss her, but knowing they had some things to work through first. "I thought you would."
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
There you go. Hope you all liked it. I know it was kinda cheesy, but I thought the song fit well. Thanks for reading and please leave a review :) I always enjoy reading them.