Am I the only one who finds Jerk shipping adorable? Only me? Oh, okay then...

I do not own Dan Vs.

*yells at the sky* COPY RIGHT! *dramatic music plays*

"Dan..." a voice sang. "Oh, Dan..."

Dan grumbled and turned over in his sleep. "Stupid wake up calls..."

Wait! Wake up calls?!

Dan shot up with wide green eyes and came face to face with a someone he thought he'd never see again in his life.

"What are you doing in my bed?!" he yelled.

The blue-eyed impostor simply smiled. He was literally sprawled on top of Dan.

"I just wanted to visit my favorite little person."

"What do you mean little?!" Dan exclaimed, pushing *Dan off of him and onto the floor with a soft thud.

*Dan giggled as he got up and dusted himself off. "Angry as ever."

"How long have you been here anyway?" Dan asked, almost afraid of the answer.

The impostor stroked his chin and smirked. "Since one in the morning."

Yep, Dan was terrified. A man who once stole his identity and almost drove him insane broke into his apartment at one in the morning. He was screwed.

"W-Why are you here? What do you want?" Dan asked, trying to mask his nervousness with anger.

"I already told you." *Dan smiled. "I wanted to see you."

Dan went red. Like, beet red. This reaction only made *Dan smile in victory.

"Aw! Is little Danny blushing?"

SMACK!

A pillow met the impostor's face. "Well, that wasn't very nice."

"I know. That's why I did it." Dan smirked. "Now, shoo! And put some pants on!"

*Dan looked down at his boxers and smiled. "I wonder how that happened..."

Dan bursted into Chris' house.

"CHRIS!"

"Oh, hello Dan." Chris sighed, sitting on the couch with Elise curled up in his arms. "What is it this time? Think the kids down the street are zombies? Got attacked by a pizza and want revenge on Italy?"

"Shut up, monkey!" Dan yelled. "And it wasn't any of those things! It was that identity thief! And this time, he broke into my house at one in the morning!"

"Oh..." Elise sighed. "I thought it was something serious."

"It is too serious!" Dan stomped like a child. "When I woke up, he was pantsless! What if he did something to me?!"

Chris scrunched up his face. "Okay, that does sound serious..."

Elise shook her head. "Oh, come on you guys. I'm pretty sure that the impostor isn't twisted enough to do those things to Dan of all people."

"I don't know whether to feel better or insulted." Dan stated. "But I do know that you guys have to let me stay here tonight."

"What?!" the couple cried.

"Yeah, I don't feel safe with that wacko breaking into my house. Now if you excuse me, I have to get Mr. Mumbles." Dan said as he left the house.

"Are you sure you want to have a baby?" Chris asked Elise.