A.N. My Christmas present to Blooper Queen.
Disclaimer: I don't own HP and Blooper Queen owns Celeste, Gen, and Marci.
It was a cold Christmas at Hogwarts and the snow was thickly laid on the ground. Nobody realized just how deep the snow was until the Marauders and friends decided to go outside for a little festive snowball fight.
Sirius stepped out first, and disappeared down into the white depths where the stairs usually were. "Ho-ho-ho-ly shit!" he shouted. "This is some deeeep snow." And he was absolutely right. A blizzard had occurred the night before and the snow was unstable and unpacked, for no one had walked on it yet. Or through it rather.
Gen got down on hands and knees in the doorway and began shoving snow down the Sirius-sized hole. "Look out below!" she called.
Sirius, who saw this coming, preformed a Bubble-Head charm on himself . "Come on in you guys!" came his muffled voice.
"Uh-uh." Celeste insisted. Behind her, Lily was counting down from three on her fingers. 3,2,-- Lily put a Bubble-Head charm on Celeste at the same time that Gen and Marci grabbed her arms and threw her in Her screaming could be heard even from under the snow.
James shrugged, preformed the charm, and cannon-balled in. "Geronimo!!" Peter timidly followed, as did Lily.
Gen looked from Remus to Marci and shook her head." No way. Not a snowball's chance in Hell." she said. Remus and Marci grinned. Gen saw the shove coming and grabbed Remus's arm, using her downward momentum to pull him in after her.
Marci laughed. "I win."
There was an evil chuckled behind her. A water balloon hit her square in the back at full force, causing her to lose her balance and fall in. "No," said Peeves malevolently. "I win."
"What do we do now?" came a whiny voice. It was Celeste.
"MARCO!" Peter called.
"Polo!" chorused the girls.
"Pollo!" responded Remus.
"Polio!" shouted James.
"AIDS!" called Sirius.
Peter waded blindly through the snow until he hit a rock. "owwwww. Ketchup!!"
"Mustard!" said Gen.
"Mayo!" Marci replied.
"Onions!" called either James or Sirius.
"LET MY PICKLES GO!!!" Nevermind. That was Sirius.
"I got somebody!" Peter shouted.
An irritated reply came from the person he had caught. It was James. "I swear Wormtail. If you do not get your hand off my arse right now, I will curse you to Hell and back." The hand moved. The girls giggled.
"1" James counted. "2, 5, 38, 27, 10! Marco!"
"Pool table!" Gen called.
"Don't hurt me!" (Guess who.)
"Ouch! Shit!" Sirius cursed. "Who is that?"
"Me." Celeste answered. "Now get offa me, or else"
"You mean us." Remus corrected.
"Us??" asked Celeste and Sirius in unison.
"You're sitting on my leg." Remus answered impatiently.
"So that's why my arse hurts." muttered Celeste.
"I can't get up." Sirius whined.
"Just peachy."
"Where are you?" Marci called. "I'll help you u-"
"You found us." Remus said dryly. "Or, rather, you found me. That's my chest you're laying across."
"I--oww!" James shouted. "'S that you Padfoot?"
"Yes." Sirius replied. "Now get offa me and help me up."
"Can't." James answered.
"My leg is now asleep." Remus announced. "I can no longer feel it."
"I, unfortunately, can." Celeste muttered.
"Where are you guys?" Gen called. "I can't--ow! Tree!!"
"Stay away!" Remus called. "I don't want any more women sitting on me."
"Or laying, in my case." Marci added.
"That sounds sooo wrong." James murmured.
"I heard that!" Marci and Remus shouted.
"You guys aren't molesting Remus are you, Celeste, Marci?" Gen asked.
"His foot is violating my arse." Celeste volunteered.
"Nighty, night." Remus passed out due to the weight.
"Gotcha!" Peter shouted as he pulled James off of the top of the dog pile. He pulled a wee bit too hard and he and James fell down through the powdery snow. Peter was squished. Gen stumbled over a rock and landed face first in Sirius's lap.
"Orgy!" Sirius shouted.
"Ewwww!" Gen shrieked and pushed herself out of Sirius's lap and landed on James.
"Owwmyarse." James said. His voice was muffled because his face was buried in Peter's chest.
"OFF!!" Celeste screeched and shoved Sirius as hard as she could, who fell off her and onto Gen.
"Eww!!!" Gen screamed. "He kissed me!!!!"
"Mmm-mmm-good." Sirius said. He was rewarded with a slap in the face.
Celeste, with great difficulty, stood up and helped Marci off of poor unconscious Remus, who was beginning to come around.
"Did they win?" he murmured.
"Who??" everyone asked in unison.
"I-I don't know." Remus answered groggily. "Now, help me up."
While Marci helped Remus get up, Celeste pulled Sirius off of poor violated Gen, who, once situated punched Sirius (with some difficulty due to snow resistance) in the gut, then pulled James off of Peter while Marci and Remus helped Peter. (A.N. They did this all semi-blindly, so it took a while.)
"That was interesting." Celeste commented.
"Interesting my foot." Gen grumbled.
"At least your foot didn't get sat on." Remus reminded her.
"Sirius kissed me!!" Gen shouted.
"Peter groped me." James added.
"Where are you guys?!!?" came a desperate voice. "I am sooo lost!!"
"LILY!!!" the group shouted.
"Finally," Lily said, sounding terribly relived. "I've been lost for the past half hour or more!"
"Let's just go back inside." Remus suggested.
"Amen to that." Gen said.
"But where are the stairs????"
-fin-