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Fanfiction by: Dark Sadistic Angel
C&C: darksadisticangel at
Mature Audiences.
Warnings/Description: 1+2/2+1, Angst, Sap, Shonen-Ai.
Heero always knew he would die. To protect those around him, he isolates himself. But life and death is not always decided.
2004/09/08.
Title: Terms Of Life
Loneliness hit him along with the unwanted light coming in from the small open bedroom window. It had clawed at his chest, waking him up from his sweaty, soaked sheets. Heero sat up panting, his blankets strewn over the floor as the sharp pain stabbed into him. With a shaky hand, he flipped back his damp fringe from out of his eyes. Catching movement at the edges of his eyes, he turned and glared at the reflection of himself in the full length mirror tilted against the far wall. His body, upright and naked save for the covering of the bed sheets, was filled with tight tension. His face merely looked blankly back. It didn't look like what he thought it should. Before, his rounder face had held tension, arrogance and determination in its set. Now, more adult and firmer, it held nothing. His face bore no markings of any personality. Without expression, it was far more effeminate than he had realised.
It was the face of someone who was not alive.
He bit his lip and looked away.
The unit he was in was largely empty. On his far right was a tiny kitchen. It was divided from rest of the room by white tiles and a small rectangular dip in the floor before the room entrance. A pair of rough boots sat in the dip. In the wall coming directly away from the left of the kitchen was the door to the bathroom unit. The connecting wall, with the mirror, faced him. Next to the mirror in the corner was a short, open clothes rack. The short bar length of it held most of the very few items he had; his Preventer uniform and two changes of clothes, one casual and one formal. Below it rested two wire baskets. One kept two folded up dojo wear, each tied up neatly by a black belt, topped by a dark pair of socks and underused dress shoes. The other held an assortment of guns and ammunition, along with sheathed knives. The grey wall from the clothes rack to where his futon pressed up against was windowless. Cabinets lined the wall, the steel closed doors of the floor to roof cabinet hiding rest of the mass arsenal of weapons he kept.
The sole window in the room was a tiny square cut above his pillow. Sunlight streamed in from the square, the force of it reflecting off the mirror on the opposite wall, back towards the place where he usually made his resting spot. Dimness filled the rest of the room, broken partially only by the lit blue screen of his open laptop.
He had lived in the room over the last three years.
It was depressingly stark.
His laptop beeped.
'Yes?' he spoke huskily, his voice still rough from sleep.
'We have a mission,' came a polite, distant voice, tinged faintly with the accent of the L2 Colonies.
He did not need to look at the new window on the screen to see who the caller was. The distinct, strained voice of the speaker announced the person's identity. It was his partner, Duo. Normally, the other man's voice would be full of vibrant humour and warmth when speaking, but that was with other people. Not him. They had been partners for over the last six years. Initially there had been no difference in the way he had received communication from Duo compared with others. Then Duo's tone became steadily cooler, until the man was addressing him in a cold way that he never used with others around him.
It was his fault. Heero had forced the change in Duo. He had pushed the man deliberately. Along with everyone else around him. The only exception in the group was Trowa. But Trowa knew his secret, along with Une and Sally. They were the only three people he had entrusted with his secret out of necessity.
'Heero?'
He snapped back. With a start, Heero realised he had been drifting.
'Send me the details.'
Heero looked towards the laptop screen. A visual window of his partner looking bored stared back at him. Duo had not changed much throughout the years. His cheeks were less chubbier than his teenage self, but his face was more still boyish than manly underneath the chestnut fringe he kept. Duo's wide bluish violet eyes, surrounded by thick, long lashes, still dominate his features. Along with his trademark braid, his startling mix of purple and Cobalt eyes kept Duo's appearance more on the androgynous side, despite his change from being a skinny short teenager to a medium tall, well built man. It was not a description Duo would like. Duo was sensitive as he had been mistaken a lot for a girl during his teenage years. Heero never had mistaken him to be female though.
Next to the window of Duo, another window opened. Text and images flashed up onto the screen, and automatically scrolled down as Duo began the brief. Heero flung his covers off him, and rolled out of his futon across the floor in a fluid to the laptop motion to read the file onscreen. He was naked but that did not bother him. Heero was not embarrassed about his body. He had grown and filled out just as well as Duo had, if not more so. His body training was inhumanely rigorous. But Heero kept his own visual line closed all the time, so he knew that he was not exposing himself. Not that he expected Duo would have any reaction if he did.
'So we will be both escorting Relena tonight, I see.'
'Heh. Isn't she, lucky?' Duo grinned. The old Duo that he once knew flashed out from Duo's face. 'Not one, but two handsome knights to protect her ex-Majesty, the ex-Queen and serve her every crazy-' Duo stopped.
The grin dropped from his face as if he suddenly recollected that he shouldn't smile. Or rather, that Duo had remembered that the person who he had just about to joke with had no sense of humour.
'Well, anyway, the problem is that's a masked party. Effectively monitoring people coming in and out will be nigh on impossible. Everyone will be masked at the gathering, including staff. The only unmasked people are personnel outside the party area and perimeter security guards. Wufei will be there in the crowd undercover. Quatre's been invited to the gathering, so he also will be keeping an unofficial eye out.'
'Hn.'
'The suits will be supplied, so you don't have to bring your usual.'
'Hn.'
Duo seemed to winch at his repeated response, as if he was in some sort of pain.
'I'll see you at the office later.'
'Hn,' Heero nodded at the unseeing screen.
The long hair man on screen actually did winch in the second before the communication line was cut. Heero was left with the feeling of loneliness once again as silence reclaimed the air. He shrugged it off. He had to get dressed before going to the Preventers branch. Heero closed his eyes and carefully placed back his emotions into the dark vault within himself. Then he got up and prepared himself.
Heero watched from his concealed place as another drunken party reveller staggered past him. He kept to the shadows of the palace. Before him, in the midst of a laughing crowd, stood Relena and Duo. Both had half mask of pink and black respectively. Relena wore hers over her expensive light pink gown. Duo had his off, contrary to the party host's request for attendees to remain masked until the end. Heero's own mask was white. Like Duo, he too held it in loosely in one hand. He did not like visual obstructions.
The two below were chatting and laughing with the large group around them. It was clear that there was a warm tie between the two, as Duo had his arm slung carelessly over Relena's shoulders. Duo had never been one to follow propriety. His partner enjoyed physical contact. He would greet people with enthusiasm and hug the person without thought. Even strangers, or people who disliked contact. Wufei was a prime target of his hugs. He wasn't.
Duo use to hug him before. Then Duo learnt better not to, after he had deliberately placed his partner in hospital. Nobody touched him at all nowadays. He didn't want them to. Even if he did miss the warm contact of another person.
Suddenly the keening loneliness from the morning slammed into him. Heero's gasped out in surprise at the icy pain. It had intensified, the barbed points of it sharp and jagged. Unconsciously, he withdrew his gun before he realised the pain came from within himself, and not from any external source. He staggered under the force, his right hand gripping his pistol tightly. Fool! Fool! Damn fool! Get a hold of yourself. He bit down hard on his lip, tasting blood. With shaking hands, he sheathed his gun and straightened. He struggled for control. Frustratingly, it excluded him.
It was then he met Duo's eyes. The other man was looking up, straight at him. Belatedly, he realised he had stepped out from the shadows, into the light. He was exposed. There was shock and amazement in Duo's eyes. At what, he did not know. It was as if Duo had caught sight of something so unexpected that it had rendered the braided agent speechless. He swallowed as the violet blue eyes burned into him. His fist tightened on his white mask. He had to hide from the gaze. It was too intense. Damnit, Duo was looking into his soul! He couldn't risk Duo finding out.
Heero lifted up his mask and defensively placed it on his face as he backed away. Once back in the shadows, the swirl of panic and fear combined suddenly stopped. His heart returned to normal, the pain no longer there. He looked down at his hands. They were no longer shaking. Calm had returned to him. He carefully tested the solid wall inside of him which held back emotions away from his head. It held against his probing, he noted with relief. His control had not yet deserted him.
'Heero...'
He swung around, his hand drawing his pistol automatically. His gun was knocked away. In the instant he felt the butt of it slid from his palms, he leapt into a kick. His foot arched towards the figure's head before him. His kick was blocked by a firm hand slapping around his ankle.
'You're not normally this nervous. Is there something wrong?' came a soft, inquiring voice.
Trowa. The tall, slender man stood calmly before him, his arm raised in a block. He withdrew his leg from Trowa's grasp.
'No. Nothing is out of the ordinary.'
Trowa arched a sceptical eyebrow above the one green eye visible underneath his long fringe.
'Really?'
Heero nodded curtly.
'Why are you here, Trowa? I thought you were still on an uncover mission in South America.'
'The mission was completed. I came back this afternoon and received a party invite.' Trowa lifted up a green mask in his hand. 'I met up with Relena on the dance floor. She wants to have a small meeting with all of us tonight, after she leaves this gathering.'
'Why?'
'To celebrate everyone else's twenty first birthday, now that we're all here for once.'
'Quatre's birthday's past already. Wufei's at near the end of the year. None of us knows our real birthday, or have ever celebrated it outside of Quatre. It doesn't make sense.'
'It doesn't have to. You know that Relena is very odd.' Trowa nodded to the crowded scene below the balcony they stood on. 'She's exiting now with Duo. Quatre and Wufei are right behind them. They should be heading direct to the Preventers headquarters.' Trowa placed on his mask and looked back to Heero. 'Shall we go?'
'I don't want to.'
'You have to. Relena has requested all of our presence.'
'She's no longer a queen, and I am not in her country. I have a choice.'
'Come for old time's sake. It'll the last gathering we'll have,' Trowa said quietly, 'since you're going to leave the Preventers.'
Heero shook his head.
'I can't, Trowa. Not tonight. I have another mission to complete after this.'
Trowa froze.
'Is it that mission?'
Heero stiffly nodded. Once.
'I thought you had two weeks left.'
'It's going to take me some time to finish it. I have to be sure that I do complete it.'
'Are you coming back?' Trowa caught himself. 'Nevermind. Don't answer that.' He stuck out his hand. 'Best wishes Heero, from all of us.'
Heero took it. They shook in silence.
Then Heero turned and left.
The mission was completed. He had made it back to Earth. Heero almost fell out of the elevator door as it opened. Too tired to even utter a muffled expletive at his clumsiness, Heero dragged himself out of the silver cage. He had to go find Duo. It was selfish, he knew. He had sworn to himself he would not do it. Not when he reached the last condition. Yet he could not help himself. His resolve has disappeared with his ebbing strength. Emotions roared through him, the torrent hurricane confusing and befuddling. The only clear thing he could think of was he had to get to Duo. He needed to see Duo. Time was ticking away from him. Wiping the sweat away from his eyes, he blinked at the painted door numbers, trying to focus his blurry sight. D-6-66... Duo's room number. It reflected his partner's oddly warped humour.
Heero staggered over to the door and wrapped his hand loosely around its handle. Using the metal bar as a stabiliser, he dipped into his back pocket and fished out the key he had long ago copied from Duo's original set. With a click, he was inside. Heero looked around the living quarters from the doorway. It was the first time he had seen Duo's apartment room despite the fact Duo had been living in at the same address for years. Outside of Preventer work, they never saw each other. He was an intruder in Duo's lair. Unwelcome, and no doubt, unwanted too.
Heero swept his eyes around Duo's apartment, barely paying any attention to the Victorian decorated interior, and honed in on a side door. The closed door was almost hidden away by tall, wooden grandfather's clock standing in the living room. It looked to be the bedroom entrance. His breathing became more ragged as he battled his fatigue to move towards it.
It was almost four. Duo would be asleep, he predicted. He pulled all of his strength together and bided his body to follow his commands. If he was clumsy, Duo would wake. He had to be careful, so he could see Duo and then leave without the other knowing about his presence. He wasn't sure if he could do what he came to do if he had to face those blue eyes of Duo's. In some part of him though, he half-hoped Duo would be awake. He stumbled. Heero almost swore aloud but caught himself in time. Not long now... His body was becoming numb; his movements too sluggish. He still had time... He had to fight it, at least until he saw Duo and taken his fill.
He opened the door quietly and held his breath. Heero searched the room's interior. He was right. Duo was asleep. His normally cold blue eyes softened. Heero stepped towards the sleeping man. The strong muscular body of Duo was curled up in a protective pose, with the bare chest man sleeping on a hand resting beneath a pillow. He reached down and touched the long braid trailing down the side of the bed. Giving into an urge he had long suppressed, Heero lifted it up to his cheek and caressed the silky strands against his skin. Heero smiled sadly as he looked down at the unaware man. There was so much he wanted to... He sighed and placed back the thick heavy braid reluctantly. No. There was no time left.
Without his conscious consent, Heero's hand reached out to stroke the skin. It was so soft and warm. So unlike his own coldness. He trailed the tips of his fingers across Duo's cheek, marvelling at the feel of Duo's skin. His fingers roamed ever so close to Duo's pale blush tinted lips. Finally they touched. Duo's lips parted in a sigh. The soft breath of Duo bathed his fingers in warmth. Memorised by the perfect shape of Duo's lips, Heero stared wistfully at them.
Cobalt blue eyes fluttered open at him. Heero froze as Duo looked sleepily up at him.
'Heero...?' Duo gave him a warm smile, his eyes half glazed. 'Whatcha doing?'
He swallowed.
'I just wanted to see you. I don't mean to bother you.'
Duo's smile tilted up even further.
'You're not. I like being with you.'
Looking in the sleepy, open eyes of his partner, he saw that Duo meant it. His heart lifted, then fell. Heero traced Duo's lips with his fingers sadly.
'Go back to sleep Duo,' he ordered softly.
'Nnm. Only if you tell me when are you coming back from the mission...' Duo murmured, his lashes fluttering down. 'Taking too long...'
Heero smiled in pain. He leant down and kissed Duo, his lips brushing Duo's lips in the faintest of kisses. When he pulled back, Duo was back asleep, his breathing deep and even again.
'Never, Duo,' he whispered.
He pulled himself together and left the bedroom. His steps grew heavier and heavier. Heero stumbled out of the apartment. With harsh pants, Heero turned to lock the door. Frustratingly the keys would not enter the keyhole. He was seeing multiple visions and he couldn't make out which image was the right one. A shadow fell over him as he turned.
'Here. Let me help,' came a quiet voice.
Slender hands gently tugged at the keys. He released the keys into the speakers hand and slumped down onto the floor. He looked tiredly up at his helper as the man turned the lock firmly with a click. He blinked as a jumbled blur of light brown, green and pale tan came into his sight.
'Thanks Trowa,' he rasped out weakly. 'You were waiting?'
'Yes. Did you finish the mission?'
He nodded.
'Yes. I've finished everything now. Could you... take me there? I don't think I can make it myself... too much time lost coming here.'
'I will.'
He smiled painfully.
'Thank you. And sorry. I really didn't want to burden you... Sorry...'
His vision blanked out. As did all his other senses.
Duo woke up with a foreboding feeling.
"Never, Duo."
Heero wasn't coming back. Groggily, Duo shook his head. No. It was just a dream. Damnit, he had been having weird dreams ever since the party. Last night was the strangest. It had been bittersweet, painful and a much too realistic experience. Heero was coming back. The mission report he sent came in. He should be back from the shuttle port and no doubt at his desk already. Shuttle lag was something that did not seem to affect the perfect damn agent. He worked like a machine.
But not all the time. There had been that one moment of expression on Heero's face that night. A heartbreaking, soul wrenching expression of feeling. For the briefest of moment, Heero had been, in the first time in the years he had known him, human. Ever since that night, Heero's face had been playing in his mind. Which was probably why he had that strange dream.
He touched his lips. His fingers were cold and unyielding. Unlike the warm softness he dreamt of last night. Longing stirred within him. Shit no. He was not going down that alley again. He had enough of it during his teenage years. Heero was his partner. Nothing more. They weren't even friends because friendship was something not even in Heero's vocabulary, let alone capacity. The fucking human machine had no feelings whatsoever.
Which was why he was looking so lonely and lost that night, as if he wanted to reach out but couldn't.
Duo bit down on his lip. He was going crazy. And it was all Heero's fault.
'Why Heero?' he whispered. 'If you really needed someone, why don't you reach out to me?'
He slapped himself in the forehead.
'Duo, get a hold of yourself. It was probably your imagination anyway. Heero should be back, so take your ass to the Preventers' office, sit it right next to him and try to make conversation with the bastard. After a few hours of silence, it should get into your thick head that Heero does not need you or anyone! Hasn't he made that perfectly clear over the years? Don't. You. Get. It?'
He groaned as he realised he was talking to himself. Duo slapped himself again in the face, twice this time, and then got up. He padded over to the wardrobe and took out his brown Preventer uniform shirt and matching trousers. Dropping the first onto the bed, he then hopped into the trousers, zipping it up over his black boxers.
The communicator phone beeped on the dresser as he reached over for the shirt. He changed direction and picked up the phone.
'Duo here,' he chirped in a false, cheery greeting.
'Duo.'
'Wufei?'
'Are you in yet?'
'It's seven thirty in the morning, Wufei. Not everyone gets in at a quarter past six like you do.'
'Get here quick.'
'Is there an emergency?' his tone sharpened.
Wufei seemed to hesitate.
'Worse. Duo, I think you need to be here in person for us to tell you what.'
'So Heero is back there already? Tell him not to be too cranky with waiting for me if he is. I'm going now.'
He clicked off the communicator. Duo grabbed his shirt, then raced out the bedroom door. Pausing briefly to grab the jacket he kept hanging on a spare chair in the living room too, Duo fished the keys out from it, exited and locked the door behind him. He hurried as fast as he could. Heero would probably be complaining anyway in his sullen, silent way. Heero never liked wasting time waiting. In his haste, he did not see the bloodied scuffled footsteps marking his apartment floor.
"I don't believe it."
"It's true."
"It's a fucking lie."
"Look. What do you see?"
The truth. Heero was dead.
It was on the seventh day after that Duo finally decided to complete Heero's last request. It was also the day of Heero's funeral. All the others had gone. Duo chose not to attend it. He simply couldn't. Instead, he stood alone before his desk. Heero's laptop lay open before him. Beside it, he placed down the note Trowa had gave him. The tall Preventer had wordlessly passed the note to him after Wufei had broken the news of Heero's death to him. It was only last night Duo found the strength to unfold and read it. On the small piece of paper, only one word had been written in the achingly familiar scrawl of Heero's.
Laptop.
And so here he was, obeying Heero's last order to him. The damn bastard had always been fond of bossing him around, to the fucken end. His throat constricted. Duo swallowed painfully and blinked his eyes rapidly. He would not cry. He had his pride. Duo sat down before the computer and placed his hands on its cool surface. It felt strange. Heero had never allowed Duo to touch his computer before, and here he was, sitting before it, with his fingers directly over the same keys that his partner had many times before.
He turned it on.
It made the same familiar noise as it started up. But following the blank blue screen, the usual desktop that usually flooded the monitor was replayed by a completely white screen. A single word flashed on and off in the centre of it.
Death?
It barely took Duo a few seconds to crack the code. The keyword was simple. Scythe. Duo wasn't sure whether it was black humour on Heero's part, or whether Heero had chose it to make sure he could crack a more complex code because Heero thought him an idiot or something.
The text line disappeared and was replaced by a new line. Pilot? it requested. Duo's eyes narrowed briefly.
'If this works, I will personally kill you again.'
He entered his full name in.
Access privileges granted.
'What!? I'm in? Just like that? Shit! That was just child's play. Heero, you're a fucken... asshole! I am not that stupid! I will kill you! I swear! I will kill you! I will...' he banged his fist on the table. 'Kill you! I swear by Shinigami's name that I will have your soul and burn it for all eternity in flames! I'm not an idiot.'
The computer blipped.
Vocal code match confirmed. Secondary security now bypassed. Select desired file.
Beneath the request, a single file name appeared.
OpenThisFile.xxxxx-x.
Duo face reddened.
'Damn you, you arrogant prick of an asshole! I'll get you for this!' Duo howled in rage.
He slammed down the enter key.
'You have some nerve-'
'Shut up Duo and listen.'
Heero face appeared on screen.
'Heero...'
For some reason his image did not look clear. Duo rapidly blinked. Damn, he would not cry. Duo shook his head and looked back at the screen again. His vision had cleared.
'I have made this recording in effort to explain a few things. If you are seeing this, I should be dead. The forecasted date of my death is roughly December twenty seventh. In order to ensure all missions assigned are completed in case of earlier eradication, I have left their details on a secondary file that will open immediately after this recording. They will be erased automatically after reading, so remember them well.' Heero paused. His jaw tightened.
'I understand that you may want to know why I am so certain of my death. It is not because I plan to suicide on this mission, although I will do so if needed. It is because of what I am. I am the last result from a failed series of secret experiments practiced illegally by a former Earth government in coalition with several L-1 colonies. The science which I was made by is imperfect therefore my lifespan is of an exact, limited duration.' Heero's eyes darkened. The young man looked away from the screen. For a long while, he simply stared off at some distant object.
'I've never expected to live long. I'd hadn't really cared much about it actually. But now...' Heero jerked up. He shook his head and turned back to the screen. 'Never mind. I'm sorry Duo. I wish I could...' A wistful look came over Heero's face.
Duo caught his breath. He knew that expression. It was the same one he had seen when Heero had been on that balcony. The haunting, lost look that tore his soul to pieces.
'I am sorry.'
The screen flicked off.
'Heero, don't you dare fucking go!'
Duo grabbed the laptop and shook the machine in violent jerks. The fact that it was an entirely irrational action did not enter his mind. He was too filled up with rage to think straight.
'Don't. You. Dare. Fucking. Go! Asshole! Damnit! I know now it was you were there in the room! You kissed me, didn't you! You have no idea how that fucking makes me feel. What am I suppose to think? How dare you kiss me and run! I love you! For fuck's sake, I love you! Don't you dare go... Don't you dare fucking go!'
From the blank white screen computer, Heero's husky voice spoke again.
'Forgive me Duo.'
The white screen turned black. Then meaningless preliminary data of a mission already completed and filed away began to fill the screen.
'Regeneration process...' came an electronic, feminine voice.
'Complete,' answered a second electronic deeper voice.
'Nerve electrons...'
'Active.'
'Oh please god, let this be a success.' Unlike the first two voice, the speaker sounded emotional. Human.
'Coma status...'
'Awakening...'
Beep.
'Awake.'
'Heero. Can you hear me?' the same, human voice.
Heero surged into shocking awareness. He was in a cold, gel like bed, wearing nothing but a wet layer of spandex. Air brushed against his face, the only area not touched by the uncomfortable sticky gel. His eyes snapped open. Blinding white light flooded his pupils and he squinted in painful reflex. A dark head directly above him gradually came into focus as his eyes adjusted.
'Une...?' his voice rasped.
He remembered a more youthful face. The relieved looked woman above him looked older somehow. There seemed to be a more mature set to her face, as if she had grown older by a few years older night. She looked like she needed some rest. There was dark smudges under her eyes, as if she had not gotten much sleep in days. He blinked suddenly. Why was he seeing her? He was dead. Forever in darkness. Or had been in darkness. Where was it now? No matter. He summed up the situation quickly.
'You died too, I see. Do you know where we are?'
A smile curved Une's lips.
'No, I am not dead. You have returned to life. Welcome back Heero.'
Life? Heero stared in shock at Une. His face, however, did not display it.
'It is two and a half years have pasted since your death. We are in the same labs you had requested Trowa to bring you to. The reason why it still is standing and you are here with me is that we did not follow the last of your written request to destroy the labs after your funeral. You did not, in fact die as you predicted. When we reached the labs, for some reason, your heartbeat became active. You were in what appeared as a comatose state, unresponsive to any stimulation whatsoever, yet you were not in a coma. We became... hopeful because of this, and so we decided to comb through the old files on the site and decode them. We found that you had been the only successful prototype to be created. You were programmed to go into hibernation after a set period, not die like the others. It took an inordinate amount of time for us to find how to trigger your reactivation since we were bounded by our promise to you not to involve any others in your situation.' Une smiled. 'Trowa gave up infiltration work and became a doctor because of you.' She turned her head towards the side. 'You should thank him along with Sally. I didn't really do much.'
Two figures entered the cold room.
'Heero! You're awake!'
Sally rushed towards Heero. The blonde doctor was soon followed by Trowa, who was not as rushed as Sally but close.
'Sally, he's just awaken. It may be prudent to wait until we find out whether he is up to it.'
The woman bumped into the clear plastic tub he lay in as she paused.
'Oh, I do believe you are right.' Sally coloured. 'He probably needs time to recover.'
Heero looked up at Sally and Trowa. They too, had changed. Like Une, they were now older. Sally had not changed that much, but Trowa had a lot. The tall young man had filled out in full. He nodded at Heero as he met Heero's surveying eyes.
'It's been a long time Heero.'
'Hn.'
'Do you need more time to recover?'
Heero took stock of his body. Strength was rapidly flowing back in his body.
'No.'
He rose up easily, his muscles not at all weakened by the long duration of keeping still. They had fully regenerated. He grunted in surprise as Sally hugged him in a hug a lot warmer than the cold gel that surrounded his body. It had been a long time since he had felt human contact. He relaxed into Sally's embrace and sighed. It felt good. He wanted... Heero stiffened then pulled back from Sally. The woman blinked in puzzlement at him.
'Heero...?'
'How long will I be alive this time?' he asked, cautiously. He did not want to feel hope. Ruthlessly, he crushed down the emotion as he waited for one of the three to answer.
'There's no guarantees in life, Heero,' replied Trowa softly. 'But you should have the same life expectancy as everyone else now.'
'I should be dead.'
'But you are alive, Heero,' Sally placed her arms around Heero and hugged him again. She then moved back. Looking Heero fully in his disbelieving face, she smiled. 'Is it so bad?'
Heero looked from Sally to Une then to Trowa.
'I don't know,' he said in a monotone. A hint of vulnerability briefly flashed in his eyes. 'I will have to see.'
Despite the bare imperceptible click, Duo had snapped immediately awake when his bedroom door opened. A constant diet of caffeine at the Preventers office kept his sleep pattern on the hair trigger scale. It was a curse he learnt to live with, along with the grief after Heero's death. Lack of sleep was better than the dreams filled with wants he knew could never be fulfilled. He functioned better from not sleeping much than when after he dreamt too much. And now he was thankful for his sleeping habits.
His hand closed in an instant around a gun underneath his pillow as he prepared to defend himself. An intruder. And a good one at that. He kept his breathing and natural even as he tracked the movements of the person in his room tensely. Who-? A familiar mixed scent of blood and gunpowder drifted towards his nose. Heero!? He breathed the scent in deeply. No doubt about it. It was Heero. He could recognise the fresh from the battlefield scent anywhere. Shit. He felt like crying. The dreams hadn't came for a long while. He wasn't prepared to face another. He was never prepared.
He felt his braid being lifted up and caressed. He felt a familiar ache sweep through him. Unable to stop himself, Duo opened his eyes to see. Heero. The tall figure of the dead man stood before him, unchanged from the years. The perfect image. Duo's eyes glistened with pain and longing.
An odd, hesitant look passed Heero's face.
'Why do you look so sad?'
'Because I missed you, Heero,' he whispered.
Duo swallowed, knowing the next few words he would say would bring down the pain that always accompanied his dreams.
'When are you coming back?'
'I am back, Duo.'
He waited for the fantasy Heero to lean over him. As he expected, Heero did. But Heero did not give him the final kiss as Duo had expected. The dream changed. Heero instead, reached out a shaking hand and touched him. Duo felt Heero's hand still at the contact.
'Aren't you going to kiss me?'
'Do you want me to?' Heero whispered huskily.
His hand stroked his cheek. It was oddly realistic. It was... warm. He hissed slowly out as Heero's touch finally settled on his mouth. His lips parted in anticipation.
'Yes.'
Heero moved forward and replaced his warm fingers with a more warmer mouth. A heated tongue invaded his mouth, but Duo was more than ready for it. He countered the delightful tongue with a flick of his own tongue and a moan. Damnit, this dream was more real and hotter than any other dream he had before. He knew it would hurt him more than any other dream when he woke up alone in his bed and faced reality. But in the instance, he did not care. The fantasy was more real than life to him.
Heero moved onto him. His weight was heavy. He had never thought dreams... Was it a dream?
Duo's eyes flew open..
'Mmpf-!'
He pushed the other man off him. With a grunt, the dark brown hair man rolled.
'Heero!? What the hell!?'
He stared in disbelief as the all too familiar face scowled at him.
'You asked for it and kissed back. Don't you dare say that you didn't want it now.'
With shaking hands, he touched the very real body before him, his hands shaking.
'You're not real... are you?'
Heero's scowl grew darker.
'If I wasn't real idiot, could I do this?'
He reached over and grasped Duo's shoulders. He registered a brief pain as Heero's fingers dug into his muscles before he was pulled back into Heero's arms and kissed senseless. By the time Heero finally allowed him to breathe again, he was dizzy from the stormy passion. Duo looked up with glazed, unfocused eyes at Heero.
'Heero... how...?'
Suddenly he didn't care to think anymore. He would just accept it. Heero was back. Not only that, he was with him. Heero was with him and that was all that mattered. He grabbed Heero and held onto him tightly.
'You fucking bastard! I don't care if you're dead but damnit, just don't fucking, ever, ever leave me!'
Warm, strong hands encircled his waist and pulled him even closer.
'What do I have to do to get it through your thick skull that I am back?' Heero sighed. His warm breath tickled the back of Duo's neck as he huddled against Heero. 'Damn fool. How can I make you happy?'
'Just don't leave me,' he whispered. 'And I'll be the happiest fool there is.'
Heero only answered with an all too familiar grunt.
'Hn.'
Hearing that, Duo finally believed it. It was not a dream. The damn hated indifferent grunt existed in no dream of his, only reality. Questions would come later, but for now he didn't care. Heero was real and alive. The reality was oh such much better than fantasy that he very nearly cried.
Fin.
