AN: Hello all~! Nutty here. :D
Oh god, we had so much fun writing this chapter. It feels nice to be starting a new project, especially one that combines two of our favorite series. We hope that all of you will enjoy this product of our cracked-out minds. Reviews will be extremely appreciated-while we already have a road map for this story, we need to know what you want to see so that we can improve it. :3 Thanks! Enjoy~!

Disclaimer: We don't own Durarara! or Kuroshitsuji. We wish. If we did, Izaya would be named Trollzaya, Shizuo would be Raegzuo, Ciel would be Cielarella, and Sebastian would be Sebby. There would also be a whole lot more trolling. Be glad that we don't own the series. xD

One fine day in Ikebukuro, Shinra decided that Shizuo and Izaya had to get over their differences. So, naturally, he also decided that the way that they would get over these differences, was to have breakfast together. Anticipating making toast for the two, he went to check his toaster. Unfortunately, some lowlife had stolen it while he and Celty finally got together in alllllll the right ways. Oh well. That toaster was getting old anyway. So, he ran off to the store to buy a new one. While browsing through the aisles, he spotted what could have possibly been the best toaster ever. It didn't JUST toast whatever you could fit in the slot; it also had a tiny hat painted onto the side. No matter the price, Shinra had to have that toaster. After digging through his wallet (which was mostly filled with money that he had stolen from Celty when she wasn't looking), he gave the clerk the money and pranced out of the store with his purchase. "Oh, wait until they see this baby!" he thought as he skipped all the way home.

"CELTY~ I'M HOOOOME!" Shinra yelled as he burst through the door. The dullahan peeked around the corner, and Shinra could almost see the irritation in her smoke. He grinned anyway-he had a fancy new toaster, nothing could get him down now. "Now, I have to send out the invitations. I wonder what stationary I'll use. Hm."

Celty whipped out her phone, and typed quickly, and held up the screen for Shinra to see. What are the invitations for?

He smiled. "Why Celty, I'm inviting Shizuo and Izaya to breakfast here. I think it'd help them get over their differences. I also got a new toaster especially for the occasion." He held up his purchase proudly. "Look, it even has a tiny hat painted on it. Isn't that awesome?"

Celty's fingers danced across the phone's keys. You really think that anything you do will get those two to get along? Also, that toaster is ridiculous. Please don't tell me you spent a lot of money on it.

"Of course! I'm sure that a lovely chat over delicious bread cooked by this godly new toaster will definitely strengthen their relationship!" He clutched the toaster, as if he was holding a baby in a room full of dingoes. "It's not ridiculous, it's awesome! As soon as I saw it, I had to have it. The hat is definitely the selling point."

Celty sighed (can she sigh?) and shook her neck stub. She typed some more, and held up the phone once more, feeling defeated somehow. Well, how are you going to get them to stay in the same room as each other without killing and/or breaking everything in sight?

"Mm, that's quite a predicament." He rubbed his chin, trying to think of something. It was futile.

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now, I've got some invitations to fill out!" He said cheerfully while Celty started to choke the air in front of her.

~ A FEW HOURS LATER? ~

"CELTY, I'VE GOT IT!" Shinra yelled, his voice echoing throughout the apartment. He ran over to her, and she turned around in her chair, waiting for him to speak up again. "We'll just make sure that they don't know the other is coming!"

Once again, she whipped out her phone. Egh, are you sure that's a good idea? It sounds like they'll be even angrier once they see each other.

Shinra shook his head, chuckling a bit. "Ah, Celty, Celty, Celty... You worry far too much, m'dear! Everything will work itself out in the end! How can it not, now that we have this fabulous toaster on our side?" He asked without a bit of worry in his voice.

Celty, at a loss for words, took a small book from the coffee table and slammed it into his groin.

Yeah, he was going to feel that in the morning. Or, actually, right then. Shinra moaned, curling into a ball, clutching at the air with his hands in futility. "C-celty... W-why must you hurt me in this way?" He groaned, a single tear escaping his left eye (his right eye was his manry eye).

Celty shook her stump, and again typed a message on her phone. This isn't going to end well, Shinra. It's really not. This entire plan is stupid.

Shinra jumped up from the floor, suddenly completely okay. "DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL HELP ME?" He asked excitedly, hopping from foot to foot like an insane third-grader hyped up on fish crackers.

Fine. Just don't do anything stupider than this, okay? The busty fairy typed while the man in the lab coat nodded with vigor.

"Okay, here's the plan..." Shinra described what he felt was the greatest plan to have ever been planned, ever. There was much hand-gesturing. The gist of the plan was that Celty would give Shizuo his invitation, and that Shinra would tackle Izaya. And then, only then, they would have the greatest heart-to-heart the world had ever seen over some amazingly delicious toast toasted by Shinra's precious and expensive new toaster. Surely, the toast spewed from that specific toaster had magical, friendship-making qualities. Nothing could ever go wrong with this plan. It was absolutely, positively foolproof. Nothing could go wrong.

So, off they went. The letters inviting the two enemies to breakfast were delivered without much trouble. Much. The day arrived, and Shinra was positively glowing with excitement. He couldn't sit or stand still, so he resolved to hopping around the room at insane speeds. This did not go over well with Celty, who found his constant hopping to be slightly irritating after a while. Thankfully, the doorbell rang, saving Shinra from another book to the groin, and Celty a headache.

"THEY'RE HERE, CELTY, THEY'RE HERE!" Shinra yelped, galloping over to the door. He straightened himself out a bit in front of the door, and cleared his throat, squaring his shoulders. He coughed, and then opened the door slowly. On the other side of the door stood a blond man in a bartender's get-up. "Ah, Shizuo. Please, come in." Shinra said professionally, sweeping his hand through the air, bowing gracefully.

Shizuo stared at Shinra for a second before entering the apartment. He turned to Celty. "What's up with him?" Celty simply shrugged, shaking her stump of a neck some more.

The three sat in an awkward silence for a few moments before the doorbell rang again. Shinra hopped up again, and did his little routine in front of the door once more, before opening it to reveal a smirking man. Shizuo's reaction was immediate. His face contorted into an angry scowl, and he narrowed his eyes. He tried to grab a plate to fling at the man, but Celty was quick to stop him.

"Ohonhonhon~ what is this, Shinra? I thought that it would just be Celty, you and me for this little get-together. Shizuo was not on the guest list last time I checked." Izaya said calmly, walking into the apartment as if a man weren't struggling to throw dishes at him.

"And you weren't supposed to be here, either, flea." He spat the last word out as if it was a piece of rotten food. "What are you doing here, anyway? Is this another of your stupid little jokes?"

Izaya started to reply when Shinra spoke up quickly. "Oh, isn't this exciting? Who would have ever thought that this would happen? How wacky! Anyway, who wants some toast?" He asked quickly, trying to change the subject. Shizuo growled, quite agitated to be in the same room as the object of his absolute hate.

"Fine. It's what I came here for, isn't it?" Izaya nodded in agreement, quite amused by the situation at hand.

Shinra rushed off into the kitchen hoping that Celty would be able to contain Shizuo long enough for him to make his delicious toast.

~ MEANWHILE, IN THE DINING ROOM ~

Shizuo glared daggers at Izaya from across the table, hoping that a chunk of drywall would dislodge from the ceiling and hit him on the head. Izaya stared right back at the blond, a gleeful grin on his face. He decided to fill the heavy silence in the room. "So, Shizuo... How have you been lately? I sure hope that whole arrangement with Tom is working out nicely." He said happily.

"Shut up, flea. It's not, by the way. You forgot, I'm not gay, you dumbass. If you say one more word, I will reach across this table and separate your lips from your face."

The smile remained on Izaya's face as he reached over and grabbed Celty's phone from her hands. He typed away on the screen for a second before displaying it to Shizuo. My, my Shizu-chan. Looks like someone has men on the mind... and if you want my lips so badly, I can just give them to you~ 3 Izaya puckered his lips tauntingly.

The scowl on Shizuo's face intensified. "Always a comedian, huh? You're not funny, and you've never been funny at all." Celty was starting to freak out, gesturing wildly with her hands. She wasn't quite sure how to intervene in this situation. Shinra better hurry up with that toast.

Izaya paid no mind to the distressed fairy, his eyes on Shizuo only. "You know Shizu-chan, comedians by definition are funny. So, if I'm a comedian, then I must be funny." He said logically, twirling one finger in the air.

Shizuo growled. "Shut up, you ass." He had had it up to here with Izaya's antics, and was very close to throwing something or punching the brat in the face.

Izaya brought his hand up to his mouth in mock shock. "My ass? Looks like you really ARE gay, Shizuo!" The red-eyed man said with shock coloring his voice heavily, a small blush forming on his cheeks.

Shizuo held up a fist. "Oh yeah? Come over here and I'll give you a kiss you won't soon forget! With my fist, that is."

"Oh, no need for that~" Izaya said as he reached across the table and pulled the blond into a smooch. He separated from Shizuo, grinning widely. "Wasn't that much better than a fist-kiss?"

If Shizuo wasn't angry before, he sure as hell was now. "I did not mean that literally, flea." His voice dripped with hate. At this point, Celty was freaking out. This was one of those times that she really wished she had a mouth so that she could yell at Shinra to hurry the hell up. Luckily, her frantic thoughts seemed to have summoned him from out of the blue, because the happy man came skipping into the room with a plateful of freshly toasted bread. Unfortunately, Izaya was very quick to see that Shinra had neglected to put butter on the toast, and was even quicker to tell him. Shinra apologized profusely, and then skipped back to the kitchen to get the butter from the fridge. In an act of panic, Celty whipped out her scythe, and slammed it down on the table between the two men. In times where she was unable to communicate, she found that the shadowy weapon did a sufficient job communicating for her.

The three sat in the dining room at a complete standstill, all of them glaring at each other. Well, Celty was smoking at them, but same difference. A few minutes later, Shinra waltzed back into the room, happily swinging a large plate of buttered toast. He set it down in between the two, and with a "Bon appétit" and a flourish, he sat down, admiring the fruits of his beautiful new toaster. Shinra, completely oblivious to the tension hovering in the air, passed out a slice to each of the people in the group. He sniffed at his toast, melting under the delicious aroma. He opened his mouth, and slowly edged the bread between his teeth, determined to savor every bite.

The four ate their slices at various speeds (Shinra being the slowest since he seemed to have a weird obsession/fetish for this toast). No matter the speeds at which they ate, Shizuo and Izaya were still glaring at each other from across the table. And, then, suddenly the table was different. It was larger and much more ornate than it had been previously. Shizuo and Izaya were both a bit perplexed over this, and examined their surroundings with curiosity (Shinra was too wrapped up in his toast to notice, and Celty still hadn't noticed because she was watching Shinra incredulously).

Shizuo, noticing that they were in a completely different place, only had one word to say.

"What."

A tall man clad in a dark suit walked into the room, and couldn't hide his confusion over the four people sitting at the table. Izaya and Shizuo both looked up to see this man, and became exceedingly confused themselves. The room was overflowing with confusion. Finally, Shinra seemed to realize that something had changed. He blinked.

And blinked again.

And then popped the last bite of toast into his mouth, and stood up, pushing his chair back far from the table. He walked up to the tall black-haired man, and grinned happily. "Hello! It seems we're not in my apartment anymore. Would you mind telling us where we are?" The tall man smiled.

"Welcome to the Phantomhive mansion."

AN: TROLOLOLOL~ A CLIFFHANGER FOR YOU, GLENN COCO. YOU GO GLEN COCO.
Remember to R&R!
UNTIL NEXT TIME.

~Nummy