Why does this not have its own section on this site? That's seriously depressing and Code Name Verity really deserves so much more credit then it has gotten. But then again, that could just be my thoughts. Anyway, couldn't let this one be, couldn't get it off my mind! So this is basically a story of what Julie's last thoughts were before... This isn't in letter form though, but ah well. Also this is slightly inspired by A Great Big World, Say something.

I don't own the song or Code Name Verity, but god I wish I could write like that.


I'm so fucked. Even now, staring death in the face. Just moments ago my face had been on the ground in the middle of the night, a man digging his damn heel to the back of my neck as others around me made for an escape I''d so desperately longed for. My own chance being foiled as I had desperately struggled against the man looming above me. Which had just earned me a swift kick in the gut by the guy who just said not to kill me. My empty stomach shrunk inwards and Bile climbed its way up my throat as I heaved for air. God, could I have been any more pathetic?

The noises around me had seemingly dispersed for a moment though, and from what I'd heard there'd been quite a few killed, escaped, and back on the bus... Then the bastards pulled me and two others, men who weren't chained together surprisingly, up. Though I didn't get much of a view for what they looked like, the guards having shoved me into line. Not that, that'd been a bad thing. Pretty sure I' wasn't the most enticing to see. Hell, it feels like I've aged fifty years and I know I must be looking like a pretty bad eye sore. But I'd risked a glance at them, and they both looked at least a head taller then me.

Well that's all I managed to observe before a single bullet pierced the air and landed promptly and horrifically into the lower regions of the smaller looking male... The air turned thick as the young man fell to the ground screeching in utter pain, both hands flying to the bleeding mess. Everyone else was either silent or sobbing. But of course, they cynical bastards weren't through with him as they proceeded to shoot both his elbows. Finishing the poor lad's torture by making him get back up and feebly climb back on the lorry. At this point I could make out the distinct sounds of wheezing and sobbing shaking the bus.

This didn't stop them as they went to the next man beside me and repeated shooting him in the groin. I didn't see this as the blood had drained from my already paper thin skin and I merely stared blankly in front of me. But I heard it as the air returned to ear shattering screams. And now that my mind's caught up, fear is gripping every fiber of my being. I'm waiting for my turn, the man next to me suffering his. They must of missed shattering the man's elbow the first time because I can hear them load up the gun and fire again at the already destroyed joint.

Through the anguished screaming though, I hear something beautiful. The blood and fears and anxiety I've been feeling instantly disappears into nothing. The sound I hear, the voice that I've dreamt of is filling my ears with overwhelming joy! It's Maddie, Maddie! I'm hearing Maddie and I know my face must be glowing at all this bent of relieve bursting forward. I want to call for you. Is the only thing that races through my mind, but I dare not risk your life. But hearing you alive and breathing, even if it's you blubbering, is filling me with such an unexpected warmth. The freezing air has even been forgotten in my bliss filled mind.

In my sudden brightness I shift my eyes to the screaming man beside me and my face instantly falters. Through my excitement in hearing you, I've completely missed the silenced heap being dragged away. Realization is hitting me and my mind racing faster then you'll ever now I let out a laughter, one that sounds crazed even to my own ears, swing my head to the side so you'll not see what happens next, and scream the only thing that only you would understand about me, "KISS ME, HARDY! Kiss me, QUICK!" Before shutting my eyes and smiling. My last thought quickly leaving my head, 'I love you-'


One day, I will rewrite this and it'll be far better. But for now, I hope this is sufficient enough to display the heaviness meant for these words to hold. Especially since this is from Julie to Maddie. Oh and I wanna clarify, I don't know if anyone else has done a fanfic like this one. So if you have read one similar to this, no copying meant.