Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. I write the characters according to my own views about them. In addition, I write them how I think they will react in the situations I place them in. So please refrain from leaving reviews stating they are OOC, since each person interprets such things differently.
Signs-Chapter One –Itachi's Dilemma!
I cannot believe this, what in the fucking hell is he thinking! I feel bad for the tree I just put my fist through, but it was the tree or my foolish little brother.
I always check up on him every so often, at least twice a month. I truly wish it could have been more frequently. Maybe if it had been, this would not be happening. I could have stopped this insanity.
Going to his team's favorite spot, I masked my chakra and settled into a tall tree, about 50 yards away. Quite a safe distance away, but I could still hear perfectly without revealing my position.
What I heard made my Mangeyo swirl uncontrollably. It took all of my self-possessed calm not to go and beat Sasuke into a coma. Again.
He told his sensei and his team that Konoha was no longer worth his time. Then with all the arrogance of a true Uchiha idiot, he told them there was nothing left he could learn there. His team and Konoha were holding him back from his true potential.
When asked where he was going, I swear I wanted to smack him. Orochimaru's, my little brother, is going to that good for nothing snake!
Of course, his team was as shocked as I was, but they chalked it up to Sasuke being a sore loser. My Outoto and the blond boy had a serious confrontation. Sasuke lost, only because the other boy holds the Kyuubi. Poor Outoto, so may secrets surround him. I, on the other hand, know he is very serious. His eyes spoke of nothing but pure determination; he could care less about the costs. When we were younger, he would practice until he was past exhausted. Just to show me he could accomplish a technique I taught him, my stubborn little brother, always trying to impress.
If I don't reign in my own temper, this poor forest will be lost. However, the very idea of hurting Sasuke again, does leave a sour taste on my palette.
I begin to pace the ground of an open clearing I found after hearing my brother's nonsense. Rubbing a hand across my face; I can't help but shake my head. Doesn't he understand what he is about to do to himself? What?! Does he honestly believe that Orochimaru is just going to train him, then let him go?
Sasuke, don't you get it? He could care less about you! As in you as a person, oh he wants you alright; your body, the Sharingan and all the glorious power that comes with it!
That pale faced decrepit creature fears death so much, that he is willing to sacrifice anything to attain immortality. Well…sacrifice others that is, punk bitch!
Sasuke is just going to walk up to him and give it to him. For what, power? I beat the bastard at 13 without even using a thousandth of my power! Does he even know that?
The worse part about this is that my little brother's soul is even more at stake here. The very thought of Sasuke being trapped within that hell, sends shivers of anguish through me.
What is he thinking? He is no match for the snake master. Orochimaru is only going to teach him enough to make him strong enough for the tasteless process.
A loud sigh eases it's way out, as I look at the facts of the matter. I lean my head against the moss of a large tree, feeling the cool comfort it gives.
If I am honest with myself, part of the blame for Sasuke even being able to go to Orochimaru, lies on my head. I should have been there.
Kisame and I had an important mission around that time. When I look at it now, it was pointless and unnecessary. My brother was marked, marked as a vessel for a mad scientist.
I was nowhere near enough to prevent it, so much for an ideal older brother. I feel I failed him yet again.
Wouldn't he be surprised to know that? To know I feel I failed him. Or will the hate for me festering within him only sneer in disgust?
He wants to go there; he is going on his own accord. I should have killed that bastard Sannin long ago, then I would not have this problem.
Most people's jaw would certainly drop if they knew I don't kill unless I have too. Why waste time and energy that could be used elsewhere?
Sasuke wants this, he feels this is the only way. I know this; I feel it off him. I'm sorry Outoto, I can't let this happen.
The very idea of Orochimaru placing his hands on Sasuke's shoulders, putting his mouth to his ear telling him about some jutsu…my hands are starting to clench.
Orochimaru becoming closer to him, pretending that he understands and Sasuke falling for it…damn it! Another poor tree is nothing more than wood chips after experiencing my chakra-filled fist of rage. I dust the fragments off, still seething. Even thinking of what Orochimaru might do to MY Sasuke, makes a feeling so deep with engulfing fury, it fills me to the brim.
I truly despise anyone touching my little brother. Getting close to him, closer than me, causes chain reactions so full of hatred, I feel relief that I can even reason with it.
That goes for that one-eyed pervert too! He has no idea he almost lost his head that day, the day he had the nerve to wrap his arms around what's mine!
And that moron, the Kyuubi is stuck with, oh he is quite fortunate he did not like that kiss. If he had, I don't think there would have been a Team 7, ever!
I can't help but sigh at my thoughts, because isn't this insane jealousy the very thing that caused so much to happen in the first place?
I mean, I am controlling it better; they are still alive, aren't they? It's just sometimes, I just want to rid the world of everyone. That way Sasuke has no choice but to have me, I loathe competition.
All at once, something wretched slams into my conscience.
He truly hates me.
My feet bring me to standstill in a small grassy clearing. This realization hurts so badly, I feel my heart torn apart, chamber by chamber.
Knowing he is willing to risk so much, just to beat me. I can't help but laugh at my skirting of reality.
He hates me so much he wants me dead.
That is just the plain sad truth, my eyes lifeless is his goal.
Which makes me wonder; did he ever really love me?
A horrid grief sears my soul at that question. Sasuke never loving me after all, is an issue that actually torments me.
Or could it be, he desired fathers' approval more than my endless love for him?
That is an even more intolerable thought!
Sasuke adoring that wretched man! That useless excuse for a father! I feel wrath and resentment begin to grow once again.
My little brother bestowing his wondrous attention on the one who sired him, yet the old man felt him worthless. It makes me want to explode into a burning field of disbelief.
Cold reasoning finally makes an appearance, it knocks me back into a tree, I slide down the rough bark. Landing on a large unearthed root, I shove my hands in to my ink black hair.
I did this, all of this, everything is indeed my fault.
A cursed tear slides out of my usually dry tear duct. Coursing down the side of my pale face, it defiantly lands on my hand.
Mocking me, daring me to deny its presence, seeing if I am strong enough to accept its existence.
I look at the tear; it will become my confidante for this time.
Sasuke hates me because I told him too.
Sasuke wants to kill me because I told him too.
Sasuke seeks power because I told him too.
I made this mess, honestly forgive me Outoto; your brother is a coward.
Yes a coward, if I would have just spoken my feelings to him long ago. If I would have just held him in my young arms and kissed him with all the obsessive love I carry for him. His life and very soul would not be on the line right now.
Losing Sasuke to the abysmal vortex of Orochimaru's design, will only make me, kill the snake and slit my own throat. Anything to be with my little brother, anything to set him free!
Since I created this monstrous situation, it is up to me to clean up my mess.
Sasuke does not deserve this burden. I want him to live his life, even if I am not a part of it.
I have so much hope for his happiness any sacrifice is worth it.
Even my life, if killing me will give him peace…then I will hand him the kunai myself, as long as he promises to leave the snake alone.
I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep my little brother from giving his dear life away.
This is my fault; I will not be like my father and deny fallibility. How can I say I love Sasuke more than I love myself if am not willing to sacrifice myself for him?
I continue on the dirt path before me, allowing my mind to come to more conclusions. No more skirting my responsibilities, if I am to save him, I have to be open to possibilities.
Could it be possible to have him?
I shake my head violently, no false hope allowed either.
Though this time I have him before me, I will tell him how I feel for him. Maybe he will allow me a kiss; I just want to feel those lips just once on mine. I loved the pecks on the cheeks he used to give me, though at times it was so tempting to just turn my head…
I go and sit on a dry stump surrounded by flowers. The aroma from them brings me back from my non-attainable wants.
This is about Sasuke, not me so…I will be sure to get him to stay in Konoha.
I bend down and see a blue wild flower; it reminds me of my little Sasuke. Sweet and pretty, born to be carefree, born to the special boy he is.
At least I will finally relieve myself of carrying this hidden fixation with him.
I laugh aloud at the ignorant thought. Even in death, I will claim him; there is no relief for me.
Ok, all of this is settled, Sasuke will be saved, if he likes or not!
I remove myself from the stump and stretch. Feeling pleased with myself, I go to the stream ahead of me, for a drink.
As I am cupping the cool refreshing liquid into my hands, I let it go with a splash. The question smacks my mind like a boulder.
All right genius, but how in the fuck are you going to get Sasuke before you? Without resorting to violence at that!
Sitting back on my haunches, I stare into the water. One thought pounds in my head for attention.
He does what I tell him too.
This is a fact, is it not?
I can use this to my true advantage.
Sasuke is also impetuous, curious, and determined to face me.
My mind builds a scenario with those attributes.
I got it! First thing, use his curiosity, I have a jutsu that is more of a parlor trick really, that will capture his attention.
Second, use his impetuous nature and his subconscious willingness to obey me. If I let it be known that in order to find me he has to follow the clues, he will without a second thought.
Third, his determination to face me will guarantee he won't back out. He will find every single clue.
Lastly, his curious nature again will aid me. I will make him think with each message. Try to get him to think about his life, his quest, and how stupid he is actually being!
I look up at the sky, the sun is beginning to set, and Sasuke is an early riser like me. I had better get started.