Well hello fellow Red Dwarf fic readers/writers. Been a while hasn't it, well I'm back kicking bottom and with some more bonkers RD fic. So hang tight as we go on a little journey into the mind of Howard Rimmer.

Chapter 1

A tall baco suited, confident man strides his way down the corridor to command HQ. Before he enters the door, he sweeps his hair aside and looks at his wrist watch, it read 23:00hrs, oh well better late than never, he thought.

Inside HQ a panel of stern looking men and women sit behind large metal tables, notability the only item on item on these tables was a single small wooden hammer. They waited and watched as the man from the corridor steeped into the hearing.

A small beady-eyed man slowly stood up, resting his palms on the table, his wrists pointing outwards. "Commander Rimmer, do you know why you have been brought before this hearing?"

The Commander nodded. "Yes sir I believe I do?"

Another man sitting on the far left of the group speaks without getting up. A thought crosses the Commanders mind, this mans voice sounds more pompous than even those jump up space jockeys that are found on Jupiter. "Commander you are charged with gross insurrection of duty, you sir if found guilty will be stripped of rank and demoted to the lowest of the low, with." A pause hangs in the air, letting the last statement sink in. The man smiles and continues "Little hope of ever regaining your current stature."

The Commander rocked up onto the balls of his feet and down again, he knew all to well what he had done, what his fate was.

The next five hours ticked by in a flash; cross-questioning, vid analysis and professional opinions all chucked into the melting pot of guilt.

"So", began the woman at the centre of the panel. "Commander Howard Rimmer, it seems we have a decision to make, you do realise that the result of this panel's outcome may affect the rest of your life!"

Two weeks earlier, Jupiter outer rings.

Inside a small demi zipper craft a lone man flicks the last series of flight switches and radios in. "Central this is Commander Rimmer, I'm about to reach the last stages of the test, permission for a GO?"

Radio crackle, then a female voice bursts into life, her voice is urgent. "Commander stand down, I repeat stand down, you do not have a go!"

Howard Rimmer sat alone in the cot pit not believing what he had just heard, he had spent 10 long years getting to this point, this was to be his moment and now they were saying no. well bugger them to Earth and back. "Say again Central, please confirm?" he stalled, while completing the final sequence on his panel.

"Sir, we are showing continued sequence you have been ordered to stand down, please acknowledge!" said the now even more urgent female voice.

Howard smirked, no one told him what to do. This was his ticket to greater things, up the ziggerole as his stupid little brother used to say.

A second voice, male came onto the radio. "Howard mate, what you doing? Turn around and come home, we will give this another go tomorrow."

Howard knew that voice, that was Frank his older brother, he'd out shone him from the start, but not this time this was his moment. "Sorry old chum, this is something I need to do."

Now more pressing, almost annoyed "Now listen little brother! Back down, or the old brass are going to be pretty dam heavy with you using their baby like this."

Howard checked the computer, all systems go, and it was now or never. He flicked the plastic protector cover up that shielded the big metal switch, and held his thumb over it. "Frank", he paused thinking what he should say. "Tell them I'm sorry but I've got to do this. Bye for now." And with that he flicked the switch downwards.

The crafts engines went bonkers and space began to bend around him, and then he blacked out, then everything blacked out.