Author's Note: Garcia drags Emily speed dating . . . again. If you've been following me for at least a few months, you probably saw that I already posted a variation on this idea in the fall. And at the time I said that originally I started writing the story with H/P already involved, and then I shifted it to just a Girl'verse offshoot before they got together. Well, here's the version where they're already involved. It is a totally different story, I promise :)

And this is Universe C! I know a lot of people have indicated a special fondness for Universe C, so hopefully those people will like this addition to it :) Place this one just after "Drop a House on Her Aaron." And if you've never read this 'verse, I'd suggest reading them in order. They're all relatively short one/two shots.


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So Here's The Thing

Speed dating!

Emily rolled her eyes. Of all the frigging crap things she'd ever agreed to do for a friend who was trying to get back at her boyfriend . . . Garcia and Kevin had had a fight earlier, and this was apparently Garcia's 'payback' . . . this seriously took the cake. Especially given that she already HAD a date for that night! And pretty much every damn night for the last two months . . . and the rest of her life really.

Hotch.

But unfortunately nobody could know that they were seeing each other. And if Emily had suddenly announced to Garcia that she couldn't attend her relatively harmless little one night speed dating event because she was in fact in a "committed" relationship with a man heretofore NEVER mentioned, well, that would obviously have created a whole volley of follow up questions for which Emily had absolutely no answers.

Or at least no answers that she was willing to give.

So she had been planning/hoping to just get through the hour or so of this crappy social event with a polite smile and minimal chitchat before shaking that off to go out with Penelope for a couple of cold beers and maybe some live music down at the Nine-Thirty Club. But now that they were actually about to enter the bar in Georgetown . . . the place where she was going to have to say "hey, how you doing? My name's Emily," to a half dozen strange men . . . she was having major third, fourth and FIFTH thoughts about the whole God damn thing!

Because now it felt like she was cheating on Hotch.

And given that she hadn't actually mentioned the whole 'temporarily dating other men' portion of the evening when she told him that she was going out with Garcia, she totally kind of was. And thinking about that point, Emily's teeth began to dig into her lower lip.

Ah, shit.

Seeing that Emily's enthusiasm was . . . again . . . beginning to fade for this guaranteed to be fun excursion, Garcia quickly grabbed her arm before Em turned tail and ran.

"Come on," she started tugging her forward, "it'll be fun! And it's only like an hour, maybe ninety minutes tops if they do any prelim stuff, and then we'll go to the club." She shot her a saucy grin, "and maybe we'll get lucky and be going there with some phone numbers of hot guys!"

It would totally serve Kevin right if she DID leave with a bucket full of hot guy phone numbers!

Big stupid jerk!

Feeling a wave of absolute panic at the thought of going home to Hotch with a stack of strange men's business cards in her pocket . . . she'd be the worst girlfriend EVER(!) . . . Emily started to violently shake her head as she yanked her arm away.

"No, wait, I can't," she stepped back, "I can't do this. I . . ."

She was just about to say that she was going home, when she saw that Garcia's face had completely fallen. And Emily realized that she couldn't disappoint her this way. It wasn't right to agree to plans for the evening . . . and unfortunately she HAD agreed . . . and then completely bail at the VERY last second.

That would be an incredibly shitty thing to do.

But of course on the OTHER hand . . . she reminded herself . . . she also couldn't 'cheat' on her sweet and loving boyfriend. A man who was at present most likely settled in on her/their couch with a freshly poured cold Guinness and a half dozen nightmarish case files.

Yeah, that wasn't happening either.

But then suddenly a compromise popped into Emily's brain. Or . . . she started digging into her pocket . . . if not really a "compromise," at least a more honest and forthright approach to the evening. And once she'd yanked her phone out of her jacket, she jerked her thumb over her shoulder.

"I just remembered that I have to call my mother about some plans we made for the weekend. So," she tipped her head towards the door, "you go on in, and I'll be along in a minute."

For a second Garcia just stared back at her . . . there was a very confused look on her face. And then she nodded slowly.

"Okay," she half shrugged, "uh, I guess I'll see you inside."

Though she'd just indicated that she was leaving, Penelope continued to stand there for a few seconds. And Emily knew that the other woman wanted to ask why the hell it was so important that she call her mother RIGHT that second, over plans happening forty eight hours later. And that would have been an excellent question to ask!

And Emily wasn't quite sure what she would have said if she did. Given that she was already feeling really badly about her earlier lie of omission to Hotch, she didn't want to stack a COMPLETE fabrication to Garcia onto the existing guilt saturation for the night.

But fortunately she caught a break there.

Because after another few seconds of perplexed staring . . . Emily was just pretending like that was totally normal behavior . . . Garcia finally turned on the heel of her black polka dot pump, pushed her matching bag back on her shoulder, and walked up to the front door of The Dragon Wheel.

A second later, she'd disappeared inside the bar.

That's when Emily . . . with a slight jog in her step . . . turned and hurried back down the sidewalk, to her car parked on the adjacent block.

Though the one person that she knew in the vicinity was now gone, this was still a conversation that she preferred to have in complete privacy.

So she quickly unlocked the doors of her sedan and hopped into the driver's seat. And as she was hitting the locks, she was also doing a voice dial for, "Hotch," on her cell phone.

Ten second seconds later she heard a click, and then her man's faintly amused voice on the other end of the line.

"Drunk already? Where am I picking you up?"

Despite her nervousness about what she needed to tell him, Emily couldn't stop her eyes from crinkling.

"That's not why I'm calling hon," she responded with a soft smile, "in fact, at the moment I'm stone cold sober, which is why I'm calling you now before I go into the bar and have a drink. See," she took a deep breath, "the thing is, I have to tell you something that I should have told you before I left but it seemed too silly to mention and now I'm feeling guilty about it and I just don't want you to think I'm keeping any secrets from you."

Okay . . . she rolled her eyes . . . that basically just came out as one big run on sentence. But again, she was kind of nervous, so that was to be expected.

"Hmm," Hotch's brow quirked up, "I'm intrigued. Now what is it that you're feeling guilty about?"

Knowing Emily and her latent, though permanently ingrained, Catholicism, the guilt wave could be coming from literally anywhere.

"Okay," Emily bit her lip, "um, well don't get mad but I'm uh," she cleared her throat, "at this dating . . . thing."

"I'm sorry," Hotch blinked and shook his head, "did you just say that you're out on a DATE?!"

How was his girlfriend out on a DATE?! How does THAT happen?!

"Actually," Emily winced, "I'm going to be on like ten of them. It's speed dating. Garcia decided just today that she wanted to go to it, you know after that big fight she had with Kevin, and we were already going out for a beer anyway and I just couldn't think of any legitimate excuse for backing out of the whole night at the last minute. I mean, she thinks I'm single and available, and it's not like I could tell her the truth about us," Emily's gaze shifted, looking out the windshield at the busy neighborhood, "and I figured it's such a silly little thing, like sixty seconds listening to some strange guy talk to me before he goes away forever, that it seemed totally harmless. But then I got here and I realized that I still should have told you about it before I left. So," she pouted slightly, "are you upset?"

For a moment Hotch was quiet . . . he was trying to process everything that Emily had just said, it was a lot to digest . . . and then he bit his lip.

"No," he shook his head as he responded slowly, "no, I'm not upset. I mean, I'm not," he rolled his eyes, "happy about it obviously, but I'm not upset. I am glad you told me though and," he gave a resigned sigh, "I guess I can see how it would have been awkward trying to come up with a last minute excuse for Penelope."

Then he paused for a second as the whole thing started to really sink in.

"So wait," he made a face, "so you're actually out at this dating thing, right now?"

It was definitely not the same pondering this course of theoretical events in his head . . . and he'd been none too pleased about it in there . . . versus actually PROCESSING that this horrible thing was actually happening. At that MOMENT! His girl, the woman who shared his bed no less than six days a week, who was slowly shifting into the role of stepmother to his son, and definitive mother to any future children he might have . . . was out on a date.

With somebody else.

The thought was beginning to leave a very bitter taste in his mouth.

"Okay," Emily straightened up, "I'm coming home. I can hear it in your voice, it's starting to freak you out. And you know," her brow scrunched up, "thinking about it, if our positions were reversed and Dave dragged you to something like this, I would not at ALL be cool with you out pseudo dating a bunch of bimbos while I sat at home working."

"You do realize that you just called yourself a bimbo, right?" Hotch responded drily.

"Well," Emily shook her head, "whatever, you know what I mean. It's not right. And I know that I'd be very UNcomfortable if you were the one calling me right now."

God, Uncomfortable wouldn't even cover it! Of course she trusted Hotch without question, but . . . she scowled to herself . . . single women over thirty were like JACKALS! And with that pretty face of his, they'd be all over him like a zebra carcass on the plains!

She would have actually had to nail spray tanned hides to her wall.

"No, no," Hotch sighed, "it's fine. You're already there, and like you said, you can't just ditch Garcia. That would be rude. So just go on your," he rolled his eyes, "dates, and I'll see you when you get home."

Though he was still pretty non-plussed about the whole situation, he wasn't going to be THAT guy. The one who was so insecure in his relationship, that he didn't trust his girl out alone for an evening. Because he wasn't insecure.

Not a bit.

He was actually VERY secure in his relationship . . . Emily loved him, no question . . . and he trusted her completely. So he could suck up this . . . his nose scrunched distastefully . . . indignity, for one evening.

If he had to.

Though Emily knew that Hotch was trying to be the bigger person here . . . and she loved him for that . . . she also hated that she was making him uncomfortable. Especially given how supportive he was being about the whole stupid thing.

It made her feel like she was taking advantage of his good nature.

So she was quiet for a second, trying to think of some graceful way to get out of this mess. And then her eyebrows shot up as an idea occurred to her.

"Oh!" she smacked her hand down on the steering wheel, "wait, I know! I'll just tell them the truth! When these guys sit down, I'll just say sorry, I have a boyfriend, I'm just there keeping my friend company. And then we can sit there in awkward silence for the remaining fifty-six seconds of our acquaintance." She pouted slightly, "is that better?"

Hopefully it seemed better to him, because it kind of seemed better to her.

Hotch's lips twitched.

"Yes," he tipped his head, "that is actually MUCH better. Thank you."

The distinction was a big one. This way she no longer would appear to be 'available,' to these jackasses. Now if only she had a RING on her finger, that would have been perfect. But . . . he bit his lip . . . that was a thought for another day.

"Okay," Emily's eyes crinkled as she sighed in relief, "then, that's what I'll do. And we're still planning on going to the club after, so I'll probably be home around ten-thirty'ish."

"All right," Hotch's gaze flicked over to the wall clock, "see you then. And sweetheart," he added with a touch of worry, "be careful with your drink."

Though Emily had spent a few decades maneuvering around the planet prior to his involvement in her life, he couldn't stop how he worried now when she was out without him. But given the things that he had seen, the women who had been abducted time and again after going out for a 'routine' night with friends, his concerns were somewhat understandable.

At least that's what he told himself when he woke up in a cold sweat.

"Oh, trust me hon," Emily hit the locks on the door, "my drink won't be leaving my lap," then she moved to step out of the car, "okay sweetie, have to run now or Garcia's going to think that I really did ditch her. Love you."

Hotch's lip quirked.

"Love you too."

And then he heard the line click and he pulled the phone away from his ear. He stared down at it for a moment. Then he simultaneously rolled his eyes as he shook his head.

Only Emily.

And then he put down his phone, and picked up his laptop . . . and went back to work.


A/N 2: See, as promised, totally different story but you can see shimmers of how the universes are connected. And I'd planned to put the whole thing up at once because it's not super long. But, I've had migraines all week, so I'm kind of tired, and kind of nauseous, and kind of want to go to bed :) So rather than dragging out the posting, I'just put up what I'd finished reading over. The latter half is already done too, I just need to read it for final. Maybe up for Sunday.

Thanks everyone! And FYI, another update coming along this weekend will be Lonely Hearts.