"Welcome to the Order of the Sphinx, Harry," Lupin said.
"Wait, I thought it was called the Order of the Phoenix."
"Well it was," Tonks explained, "but some red-headed lady with glowing eyes threatened to kill us all if we didn't change it."
"Ok then…" he trailed off.
They entered the building and a portrait started screaming at them.
"Silence!" Tonks shouted blasting a hole in the portrait. "Ahh, I see your mum taught me to do something useful after all, Sirius."
"I don't even want to know," Harry said as his godfather appeared.
"Most people don't," he muttered.
Several minutes later:
"Shh," George whispered as they all spied on the meeting through use of the Expendable Ears (yes that was a joke).
"What are we going to do about Voldemort?" Tonks asked.
"I've just talked to Dumbledore," the cold, sneering voice of Severus Snape answered.
"Well," Sirius demanded, "what did he say?"
"He suggests that we all start writing our wills (thank you potter puppet pals).
"Oh good, Moody, I get your cane!" Tonks said.
There was silence for a minute.
"Anyway…he thinks we might be able to get a message of surrender to the Dark Lord through Kreacher.
The aforementioned elf passed the eavesdroppers skipping and singing.
"Right," Ron murmured, "that's about the most disturbing thing I've ever seen."
They were distracted by the sound of the door being blasted open.
Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, and several other Death Eaters strode into the front hall.
The Order came out to face them.
"We're taking over your base," Lucius explained.
"Ahh…and, do we get time to pack our things?" Lupin questioned.
Suddenly, James and Lily Potter appeared.
"Wait, I thought they were dead," Malfoy said.
"I guess they were only mostly dead," Bellatrix replied.
The fight that ensued accomplished only the destruction of Sirius's house.
"I hope you have insurance on this place," Bellatrix called as a glass cabinet exploded.
"Nope, I'll just have Dumbledore take it out of Severus's pay."
He was promptly hexed into a wall by our favorite potions master.
"Oohh, look…" Bellatrix cackled, "A locket. This might prove important."
They vanished.
"That...was weird," Harry said slowly.
"Ah, I've seen worse from Bella," Sirius said dismissively.