A while back ago I started and finished a fractured fairy tale version of Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs entitled "Snow White And The Seven Elves." I planned on writing another one, on my favorite Disney movie, Sleeping Beauty. And now after all that time, I've finally gotten around to writing the first chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. Please let me know what you think. Also a big thanks to Aquarian Wolf and all her editing skills. I really appreciate it.
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Farflingin, Germany, there lived a king and a queen by the names of Steffie and Vera. The royal couple had longed for a child, and then one magical day their wish was granted. Vera gave birth to a young girl, and they named her Dawning, after the sunrise. In honor of the young princess's birthday, the King and Queen proclaimed a great festival throughout the land, and invited every lord and lady to the castle for a special day of christening the infant princess.
King Steffie spared no expense in this lavish ceremony. A 60 piece orchestra was called upon, while the King also hired a well known minstrel singer and comedian touring the area by the name of Sir William Cosby. In the middle of a dragon pudding pops plug in front of the royal court, the herald announced a special visitor to the proceedings.
A good friend of King Steffie's, a fat gas station attendant named Moobert, had arrived along with his four year-old son Prince Fill-Up. (Fill-Up had gotten his unusual name from when Moobert opened his first gas station in the kingdom. He had met his wife there, and Moobert named his son in honor of the first words she had spoken to him.) Since he constructed his first gas station, chains sprang up around the kingdom, and now next to the King, Moobert had been the wealthiest man in the land. Steffie and Moobert had arranged plans that the young princess would marry Fill-Up upon her eighteenth birthday so the two old cronies could share their fortunes together.
While the two rich tycoons greeted one another, a bright light suddenly shined in the center of the room. The beam glowed a blinding white, almost illuminating the entire chamber. Three hooded little figures floated out of the beam and landed on the floor with a loud crash.
"Ow! Get offa me, ya big ox!" an old woman screeched in a harsh tone. The little old lady pushed a fat woman that was laying on top of her, off to the side.
Brushing off her dress, the old lady looked up and saw that everyone's eyes in the entire room were turned to them: three little old fairies dressed in fuchsia, aqua, and periwinkle.
"Hello everyone!" greeted the short woman in the fuchsia dress. "Sorry to drop in unexpected, but our invitations must have gotten lost in the mail."
"Why do the three moths always have to drop in?" Vera muttered to her husband.
The three old fairies were usually kindly, jolly women...that is when they weren't getting into an argument. There was Baggy, who was always outfitted in a fuchsia dress that was three times too big for her; Naggy, the fairy in aqua who never once shut up or stopped complaining about something; and Maggie, the fat little fairy dressed in periwinkle.
Hovering over to the young Dawning's crib, the three fairies went to work bestowing their own special gifts for the young princess.
"Sweet princess, my gift shall be the gift of beauty," Baggy proclaimed. With a wave of her wand in the air, a make-up kit suddenly materialized beside the cradle.
"Tiny princess, I shall bring the gift of song!" Naggy proclaimed. Waving her wand, fairy dust flew out of it and transformed itself into a large saxophone.
Maggie stepped forward before the cradle and smiled. "Sweet princess, my gift..."
Before Maggie could present her gift, a rush of wind blustered throughout room, as the sounds of thunder crackled overhead. Black smoke swirled about in the center of the room, and out of smog stepped the ugliest creature ever known to man: the grotesque, evil fairy Freakzella.
The fury in the old hag's eyes could not be contained as she glared at the King and Queen. She surveyed the rest of the room with a cruel sneer. "Well! Quite a celebration I see you have here, King Steffie." She glanced over at the three good fairies and grimaced. "I see even the three do-gooding biddies are here!"
"Why you..." Maggie shouted. She was about to fly over and beat the ugly fairy's face to a bloody pulp, but was held back by Baggy. Angrily, the fat woman beat the fuchsia fairy over the head with her wand. "Let me go!"
"You know I was quite furious when I did not see an invitation in my mailbox this morning, Steffie!" Freakzella glowered. "I began to wonder why I wasn't invited."
"It's because your face looks like it was thrown in the garbage disposal and then set on fire!" Maggie shouted.
Freakzella gritted her teeth and glared back at Maggie. The wicked fairy wanted to zap the fat woman right then and there, but held her rage back for later.
"Oh, it's all just a simple misunderstanding!" Naggy interrupted. "The King forgot to send invitations to us as well. It was just a mix up, wasn't it?"
Steffie looked back, and his eyes darted back and forth. "Oh yes...yes, a mix up! That's the ticket!"
"Oh?" Freakzella replied calmly. "Well then, I suppose that changes everything!" Suddenly, the look of joy on her face disappeared and her tone reverted to solemn once again. "But I'm still going to place a curse, just for the hell of being a nasty witch!"
"What?!" the King and Queen shouted in disbelief.
"Hey, I have a reputation to uphold here! I'm not going to turn soft!" Freakzella furrowed her brow as she went into deep thought. "Hmmm, now let me see here...something ironic would be nice...ah, I have it! Before the sun sets on her eighteenth birthday, she shall prick her finger upon a gas pump nozzle and die!"
An audible gasp rose up around the room, as Freakzella laughed wickedly.
"Guards!" Steffie shouted. "Seize that horrid creature!"
Raising her magical staff in the air, Freakzella shouted to the surrounding sentinels. "Stand back you fools!"
The guards immediately halted as they looked backed at Freakzella curiously. An awkward pause permeated the room; the evil fairy hadn't actually counted on them stopping. With a shrug of her shoulders, the witch zapped the guards and transformed them into a group of pigs and sheep. With an evil laugh and a puff of black smoke, Freakzella disappeared out of sight.
The King and Queen looked on with an expression of shock upon their faces.
"Don't fear your majesties," Baggy tried to comfort the royal couple. "Maggie still has her gift to give."
"You mean, she'll be able to stop this curse?!" Vera almost jumped up in happiness.
"No, but she can help."
With a determined look, Maggie stepped forward and waved her magic wand in the air. "Sweet princess, against this wicked curse I oppose, in place of death you'll find slumber repose, and from this sleeping bliss, you shall be awakened by love's first kiss."
King Steffie stared back at Maggie with his mouth agape. "What?!" he finally blurted out. "Fall into a deep sleep?! That's the best magical nonsense you can do?! What kind of magic school drop outs are you?! What sort of ridiculous hocus pocus was that?!"
"Why you ungrateful..." Maggie, riled up, was about to fly over to the King and give him the thrasing of his life, but was held back again by Baggy.
"Come along now," Baggy replied. "We've done our work."
And with a quick wave of their wands, the three fairies disappeared.
Despite the good fairies' plan, King Steffie still feared for his daughter. So that evening, he ordered all his pig and sheep guards to gather every single gas pump in the kingdom. Stacking them all upon one another, the guards proceeded to throw a torch upon the mountain of fuel containers. A fiery explosion similar to an atomic bomb erupted, and a huge black mushroom cloud flooded over the kingdom.
"I think it might have been a better idea if you had emptied them first, dear," Vera commented to her husband.
Moobert looked on at the explosion, and burst into tears. "I'm ruined! My business is ruined!"
"Well, it looks like back to the days of the horse and carriage for us," Steffie commented. "You could always still sell the snacks in your store, plus shoes for the horses and buggy whips too."
The fat tycoon brushed his beard thoughtfully. "Hmm, never thought of that..."
Meanwhile, as the mushroom cloud continued to circle the village, the three fairies were busily thinking of a plan in their shack at the edge of town.
"We have to think of some way to keep Freakzella from fulfilling the curse," Baggy paced about. "But how?"
"We could always turn the princess into a clod of dirt," Naggy suggested.
"No, no! That's too messy!"
"I know!" Maggie piped up. "How about a ladybug?"
"No! She'll get squashed too easily!" Baggy shouted.
"A can of soup?"
"How about a coat hanger?"
"A chair?"
"An apple?"
"An ironing board?"
"A bar of chocolate?"
"I got it! A paper clip!"
"NO! NO! NO!" Baggy erupted. "THESE IDEAS ALL STINK! SHUT YOUR PIE HOLES!"
There was dead silence in the wooden shack as Naggy and Maggie stared blankly.
"Well!" Naggy huffed indignantly. The aqua fairy suddenly went into a tirade that perfectly explained her name. "I don't see you coming up with any ideas here! That's just like you! Always bossing everybody around, yet your pea-sized brain can't function to actually come up with a good idea! If anyone should be in charge, it should be me! How many times have I told you that none of your ideas work either? Remember that time with the bumblebees in the birthday cake for Freakzella? 'Oh it will be a great idea!' you said. 'She loves bees' you said. Yeah, it certainly sweetened our relationship with her when she had welts on her face for a week!"
Tired of listening to the other fairy, Baggy grabbed Maggie's wand and her own, and shoved them into her ears to block out the noise. Concentrating while Naggy continued to babble away, a plan began to formulate in the elder fairy's head.
Yanking the wands out of her ears, Baggy jumped up in the air. "I've got a plan!"
"I hope it's better than your plan to free the dragon from the dungeons last year. I don't think I can stand another idea of pure genius like that!" Naggy sarcastically commented.
"Shut up and listen for a minute!" Baggy shouted back. "There's that huge cave all the way back in Samson's Swamp at the edge of the kingdom. We'll take the princess and we'll raise her up ourselves in that cave."
"That's a great idea!" Maggie exclaimed.
"Oh, pleeeease!" Naggy rolled her eyes heavenward. "You can count me out of your medieval stone age family!"
"Can you think of any better plans?" Baggy asked.
Naggy grumbled at the ground in defeat. "I suppose not."
"Fine, then it's settled. Tonight, we'll go to the King and Queen and persuade them to take Dawning with us. She's sure to be out of harm's way," Baggy instructed.
"Unless you factor in your cooking," Naggy retorted.
"Stuff it!"
With a wave of their wands, the three fairies disappeared from the shack and headed towards the castle. After a long debate with King Steffie and Queen Vera, the fairies were granted their request, and whisked the infant princess off to the swamps.