he got under your skin with the very first glance -
only you saw him in the compound,
only he saw you in the restaurant.
(as if you've always been meant for each other's eyes alone;
a living secret)
and for days after,
the feeling of his shadow presses behind you,
flashes of green eyes in the busy roads,
the familiar curl of Hindi suddenly roughening into German,
is he there, or are you searching for him?
a shared moment of music, a disrupted wedding, an unfinished prayer, a hospital conversation -
it becomes easier and easier to end up around him,
harder and harder to understand what this is
but when you know what he sees in the mirror every day, without knowing his face;
know the exact rhythm of his heart without knowing his voice,
how long can you stop yourself?
With questions, with doubts, with prayers?
When each shared glance means sharing feelings, how long will you stop yourself from looking?
When someone speaks directly to your spirit, how long will you stop yourself from understanding?
When the only way to be you is also to be someone else, how long will you stop yourself from living?
he got under your skin -
because it was the only way to your heart.