Curtains open and Sasuke is standing on the stage, waiting for Orochimaru. Kakashi enters stage left, wearing an ANBU mask in place of his regular one.

"Sasuke! I love you and have come to rescue you from the evil Orochimaru!" Sasuke stares at him,

"who are you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and taking a step back,

"It is I! Kakashi! Your beloved tutor!" Kakashi says removing his mask with a flourish, Sasuke looks at him, disbelievingly,

"Orochimaru, is this some kind of twisted joke?" Sasuke questions, taking yet another step back,

"Never! I killed him on my quest to ensure your safety!" Kakashi said, pointing off stage at the unseen body,

"Master! Nooooooo!" Sasuke screeched, falling to his knees "Orochimaru-sama, without your protection Kabuto will be able to molest me over and over again!" He put his face in his hands for a moment, before looking out at the audience, "not to mention, now I'll never be able to become stronger than my brother and prove my undying love to him!" Sasuke blinks, then quickly recovered "Errrr….. I mean, KILL ITACHI AND AVENGE MY CLAN!" He cried out, before standing, and running off the right of the stage "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Kakashi takes a few steps after him slowly, before turning to the Audience,

"Sasuke, my love, I will protect you!" He says,

"ACK! NO!" Comes Sasuke's voice from off stage,

"what's that Sasuke? You can't wait to be in my arms?" Kakashi puts his hands to his heart, "don't worry, love, we will be together soon!" a muffled scream from off stage, as Kakashi prances off the stage.

A few seconds later, Sasuke runs back on stage, panting for breath,

"jeez, what is with it freaks and my body!?" He pants, resting his hands on his knees, "first Orochimaru, then Kabuto, now-"

"SASUKE-KUN! Where are youuuuu?" Kakashi calls from off stage, Sasuke freezes, not even breathing for a moment, he runs to the other side crouching down, and performing a few hand seals, a blanket is thrown over him.

Kakashi skips on stage, rope in hand,

"come on, Sasuke, you're going back to Konoha with me, whether you like it or not!" Sasuke begins to crawl away from him, "ah ha! There you are!" He grabs Sasuke around the waist,

"Kyaaaa! Aniki! Heeeeeeellllllllpppppppp meeeeeeeeee!!!" Shrieked Sasuke, "ANIKI! ITACHI! BROTHER!"

"somebody call me?" Itachi asks, striding on stage, yawning,

"YES! I DID! HELP ME, BROTHER!!!" Sasuke continued to shriek, Itachi chuckles,

"why?" He smirked, Sasuke glared but muttered something under his breath, "what was that? I couldn't hear you"

"I said…. Because you're stronger than me…." Sasuke said,

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you again, repeat" Sasuke glared at him, and oh if looks could kill,

"I SAID BECAUSE YOU ARE STRONGER THAN ME! NOW HELP ME YOU STUPID JERK!"

"jeez, no need to get pissy"

Curtains close and characters take their bows

THE END!!!

Because I am too lazy to continue it, and I've run out of ideas… this started as a cosplay skit, but My friend Tyler, who is cosplaying as Kakashi, would never agree to do this…. So it's just a stupid crackfic, please don't take this seriously, it was just for a quick laugh