Disclaimer: No Twilight or song ('Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri) ownership. Bella's POV song-fic.
I know I can't take one more step towards you…
'Cause all that's waiting is regret.
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
Edward. That one name and I couldn't think anymore. That one name and I could feel my breath leaving my body, leaving me cold. Numb. Blank. Emotionless.
A shell.
Nothing anything would recognize as Bella.
But that changed. Oh, that changed.
I'm Bella Swan. No, I am Isabella Swan. I am everything and more. I am better than him. I am so much better, stronger, more beautiful than THAT would ever give my credit for.
My precious Edward. My love. My life. My downfall.
And who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars,
Collecting your jar of hearts,
And tearing love apart…
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul…
I never once suspected that Edward was that heartless. He used me. He claimed love to have a touch of humanity. How selfish. How cruel!
I am a human being. While he believes himself a monster, at one time even he was human… How could he not care about me anymore? How could he lie like that?
He wasn't a monster. At one point, even as a vampire, he wasn't a monster. He gave himself an icy make over. He conformed himself into his nightmares…
And he deserves anything that comes to him.
And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
My dad watched my suffering. He watched me become a shell of myself.
He also watched me reform into something better. More beautiful. Resistant. Unfortunately, I was also a bit colder. Icy. Now one believed sweet, timid Bella could ever become something to stand up for herself; Isabella could.
I laugh, smile, have good friends even! All without Edward. I can survive without Edward.
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
"Bella."
I froze.
"Bella?"
I couldn't move. I forgot how to breathe. This isn't happening. He swore to me he'd never be back, I was useless.
"Bella. I'm so sorry… I lied. All of it. Lies. I'm so sorry."
I didn't turn around. I didn't want to see his face. I couldn't believe it. All this time and he wants to apologize? Like apologizing would make it better. Like, because he was Edward, I should just forgive him. He'd make it all better.
Are you kidding me?
So don't come back to me
Don't come back at all
Finally I came to my senses. "Bella's gone. I am Isabella."
"… What? You hated that name. Just come back to me. I can't live without you."
"Who do you think you are?"