Please forgive any grammatical or spelling errors :) He who is without comma, cast the first semi-colon!
PS: This may be a one-shot or this may be something more-idk yet...
-iiwasalwaysthequeen
They were like two sides of a coin, they looked different, adorned with an individual identity-But they were the same. The world had used them for the same purpose and they had reciprocated in a like manner. They were made the same way, shaped by the tragedies of their life. Looking in each other's eyes was like looking into a pained mirror, expressing the same hurt they both felt. Separated, she could feel him. His ups, his downs, his angst, his joy, she was inclined to know. Others would be none the wiser but she-she always knew.
And he with her.
Their extent of faith in the world was the same; They had none. They trusted no one but each other, sometimes dangerous but often imperative in survival. Someone...you need someone in the world to trust. Without trust there is nothing to pull you back, no rope to rear you back from the darkness. Together, they had the ability to edge the well of no return, together they could take the town with their manipulations, their plans and their revenge. They could take the world if they wanted to...If they wanted to.
They didn't want to.
Together they had the ability to pull the other back from the well, to hold them back when they looked ready to jump into the familiar abyss. When the comments would get to be too much, when life would get to be too overbearing-They had each other. When the inevitability of destruction was ahead, together they could make the inevitable impossible.
A dark pair they were, unseemly to the common eye. But when the stares didn't matter, when the glances were cast aside and the comments fell on deaf ears- their despairs didn't matter. And wasn't that the point? To turn the villains from their ways, from their anger. The enchanting thing about their love was that they found it in each other.
It was nice not to be judged, to be loved for their perfect imperfections. It was redeeming of the human race to be able to give oneself to another and not regret it seconds later. So when the storm raised and the wind kicked up-When the flood waded against their legs and threatened to knock them down, they stood the test of time. Because they had given themselves to each other. He had accepted her jagged edges and she had accepted his misshapen sides. And without that to stand in the way, to separate them-They fit like two puzzle pieces, through which nothing could divide.
Yes it was overwhelming, yes it was risky and yes it was a leap over a cliff-but nothing scared them. At this point, after everything that they had endured respectively, allowing someone to love them was their biggest yet last fear. But over time, the anxiety of hurt dulled and worry of abandonment lessoned. They trusted each other and no one else-a gift and a curse.
Two things could come from building your world upon someone else; they could fail to meet your hopes and pull the ground from under your feet or they could be everything you hoped for, and the only thing that happens is the growth of your world, your hope, your faith.
And as time went on, they could only hope for the latter.
But in the midst of waiting, time would continue to test them, test their strength, their ability to resist temptation. But what time had underestimated was their ability to bring each other back, back from the well of darkness that they seemed so fond of.
It was now a rarity for her eyes to shine a violent purple, or a flame to summon within the palm of her hands. It took a lot to rile her, to extend her hand so that a body was pinned against the wall struggling to breathe. But of course, now her periods of silence were more frequent, a substitute to replace the outburst of her temper.
She was seeing Dr. Hopper, well they both were, but not together. He was just as much of a hot head as she was-if not more, he was just between at subduing it. Though his quest for revenge was at times irrational, he was oddly enough a reasonable person. He longed to avenge his love, wrongly taken from him. He longed to be loved, to be allowed to love without having it taken from him. He just wanted what others had...Was that so bad?
"Do you still love her?" The question was open to hang in the air, reverberating from each beige wall in the room until it fell on the Captain's ears. With a hesitant ease, his pen flipped between his index and pointer finger, bifocal eyes seeking an answer to a much deeper question. "Milah?"
The Captain held the man's stare, never breaking contact yet never officially making any contact whatsoever. His mouth was clamped shut, posture sunken into the green love-seat that position him across from the makeshift therapist. "Have you ever loved someone?"
The question was vague but Archie obliged him, leaning forward in his chair as the sullen pirate continued to stare ahead, at him or the wall-he couldn't tell. "Romantically? I-I can't say that I've been so lucky." He gave a tight smile, leaning forward. "Is that why you're so reluctant to talk about your past-You don't think I'd understand?"
His brow barely lifted, but the incredulity was clear in his eyes, wide and reminding Archie of his better half. "Do you honestly think that you would?" His pain wasn't to be scrutinized by someone who hadn't the slightest experience of what he felt. Not a textbook or a curse could endow him with the empathy to feel his loss.
"I believe that I can help you through it." Archie was on a mission-to open the heart of the sarcastic Captain, to dig within him to expose that which had been long locked away. Though he might have had too much faith in himself.
"How can you help me through something that you admit to know nothing about?" He was agitated but his face showed no trace of it, emotions hidden well beneath the surface. "The Queen requested that I come here to 'explore my feelings' ,as she so delicately put,-And while I hate to disappoint her...The endeavor to 'help me' is beyond your reach."
"The Queen." Archie noted, nodding his head before scribbling something down on a yellow pad that Hook neither bothered nor cared to look at. "Is that what you call her?"
"Well that is her name, is it not?" Hook challenged, annoyed that the man nitpicked at his word choice and his actions. He didn't want to be psychoanalyzed-He just wanted to move on.
"So you respect her?" Archie asked softly, watching as the man immediately reacted, no longer sitting in the stature of his position, his title.
"I love her." Killian supplemented, his stare descending into a glare. The cricket knew nothing of their relationship, of their love. He could barely see passed the glass on his nose let alone into the depths of their companionship.
"And you'll protect her-"
"With my life." He intervened sitting up in the chair, forcing Archie to hide his excitement. Without even knowing it, Killian had given Archie everything that he was looking for, peeling back the artificial front without even realizing it. The subtle movements of his jaw from left to right told Archie that the Captain had resorted to grinding his teeth against each other, containing his anger as a memory seemed to pass over him. The look in his eyes glazed for a fraction of a second and Archie was given a glimpse of what he knew there lied more of.
"Because Milah died-"
"Murdered." The Captain growled, heel now pivoted against the floor as his leg stretched out and he took a defensive stance. "She was murdered."
Archie nodded in understanding, his voice growing softer as he spoke. "Milah was murdered and now you're worried about Regina." Killian turned to the insect, holding himself to the couch as to not jump up against the man. He bared his teeth with a silent snarl, opening his mouth to speak but nothing came out. His only response was the faintest gleam that shone in his eyes, masked by his anger. "You're worried about Regina..."
Killian's fist was balled against his mouth as his elbow sat, bent on the armrest. He looked off, no longer wanting to talk but the weight on his chest had begun to weigh on him. "..because I...didn't protect her." He spoke through gritted teeth, words muffled by his fist as the image of her body falling limp to her death played in his mind. He remembered her eyes running back in her head, he remembered the way her chest fell with the last breath she took.
He remembered everything.
"Who didn't you protect?
His eyes slowly inclined in acknowledgment of the man, though he never spoke. Dr. Hopper know damn well who they spoke of, who he didn't protect. The source of his pain was clear; the weight on his shoulders evident.
1, 2, 3...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...1, 2, 3, 4...1, 2...1, 2,3, 4. The pattern was inconsistent, like her. And they both had excuses for being that way, both frayed at the edges and torn on the sides. The imperfections in the couch were barely noticeable on the surface but if you looked hard enough, the count would fail to add up and the true nature of what appeared put together would begin to show.
The thought brought a faint chuckle to her lips, a noise that stole Archie's attention as well. He had watched her count the seams, wondering what she saw, what had her so enthralled as to spend nearly 10 minutes doing something seemingly trivial. "Did you know...That purity in itself is tainted by it's definition?" He net his brows, urging her to explain with a hope that her thinking might lead him to some insight as to what she was so distracted by. She shrugged, her thumb stroking a stray thread on the armrest. "The world we live in...it promotes purity in such a way that the pinnacle that's praised is unattainable-No one, not even Snow White can master it-yet everyone expects me to." She flicker her eyes in his direction, gauging a reaction from her mention of his dear friend. His indifference allows her to close her mouth, placing her hands in her laps as if to give him her attention.
"Is that what you think?-That everyone expects you to be perfect?"
"Well the notion is unrealistic but yes-That's how I feel. I'm not allowed to make mistakes because they're blown out of proportion, they're exasperated and beaten to death because of my past." She pauses, pondering for a moment. "In fact, I think that they expect both from me-And that's what makes it so infuriating."
"Both?" Archie urged, coaxing her to finish.
"Both as in-They expect me to mess up, and they expect my downfall and when I do mess up like any normal human being, it's as if I'm not allowed to even though it was expected of me the whole time."
Archie nodded, leaning back as Regina did the same, mimicking her posture. "Who's they."
"Snow and her cronies." She answered immediately, the distaste clear in her voice.
This however didn't move him, it was her omission that concerned him. It was her target of those she cared about least and the leaving out of those she was most attached to. "What about Henry? What does he think?"
"I don't know, I'm not allowed to see him." She snapped back, immediately regretful of her tone. But her son was a hot button for her, something that riled her spirit. "I can only hope that he's sees my efforts however, I'm not naive." She shook her head, as if she could no longer do anything to change the outcome. "They never give him the whole truth." The anger began to fester as she thought about them wasting no time to tell Henry that she murdered the man that she now sat in front of but waited days before telling him that Snow was 'partially responsible' for her mother's death. "Can we move on?" She asked abruptly, sitting up further.
"Sure..." Archie watched as she began to taper her fingers against the seams once again, casting her glance away from him as he flipped to a new page on his yellow notepad. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Her lack of answer urged him on, clearing his throat before he spoke. "What's your biggest fear?"
She looked at him quickly, her stony expression switching almost instantaneously into a blinding smile that confused him. "I'm in love." The peace that passed over her face was something that couldn't be copied, something that couldn't be made up. "For the first time in a long time-I love someone..." She paused, her words catching in her mouth as her eyes gleamed in a similar fashion that Dr. Hopper had previously seen in her counterpart. "I love someone and I know without a shadow of doubt that they love me too." Her tone was still entranced in the love she felt but the aggression was still present when she spoke. "For the first time." Thoughts of Henry's unconditional love seemed like distant memories-but of course they were. But it pained her to think of it like that, to think of their relationship as something long gone, sincerely passed and uncertain to be revisited.
Her jaw set firmly, the warmth fading from her eyes as the pain that lied beneath them bubbled to the surface. "I don't want to talk about my biggest fear because it's already come true...I'm irredeemable." She leaned forward to express her thought, eyes pinking with each word that spilled from her mouth. "I'm ready to be let it all go, I'm ready to accept what I've done, I'm ready-I'm ready to be a better person and no one cares."
She turned her head from him slowly, setting her mouth on her fist, just as the Captain had previously done, unconscious of their similar proclivities. "I was afraid that it would be too late and now it is-" The yearn to weep was clear in her voice but she maintained her composure, shrugging as if to sweep the feelings from her back but as she expected, no relief was felt. "Yes I have Killian and I love him-I do." Her voice broke under the weight of her words that spilled from her mouth next. "But he's all I have."
He had so many questions for her. Dr. Hopper wished to investigate her feelings but it was rare that she would let him see her. Sure, she had told him of her vulnerabilities but he had never seen it personally, especially not the raw nature she currently displayed.
"My father is dead, my mother is dead, my son hates me and no one sees me-" She shook her head, an escaped tear slipping down the fist that pushed against her face. "-Not for who I want to be...it's too late." Regina sniffled, straightening out her skirt to distract herself from the conversation at hand, choosing to instead, adjust her outfit. After 3 minutes of flattened hems and pulled collars, she glanced at the concerned cricket gone therapist. "There, now you know my fear and considering that they've already come true-Can we talk about something else?" The vulnerability is gone from her voice and the evidence of her tears began to subside as she pulled herself together and distanced the painful thoughts from her mind. "...please." The aggression tones down and Archie nods slowly, knowing that if he pushed her any further, she would likely shut down.
"So you and Captain Jones..." He began, flipping another page before meeting her eyes. "How about you tell me about him in...three words or less." And just how similar the Queen and the Captain are became painfully obvious when the words that tumbled from her mouth were simply,
"I love him."
So what do you think? Is this a one-shot or the prologue of something bigger? Hit me up with a review or drop something in my in-box and let me know your thoughts :)
-iiwasalwaysthequeen