Hey, everyone! I was at the end of writing my first X Files story when the idea for this story popped into my head. It drove me nuts until I finally wrote it, and I'm pretty excited. The song I used for it is the beautiful Diamond Rio song, I Believe. I think El has lost his faith a little these past three seasons, but I believe he'll get it back. Enjoy, and please remember to review!
This story is dedicated to El Chacal, for all the wonderful ideas, and MHFever, who gave me a whole new direction for this. Thank you guys!
Disclaimer: Not mine!
SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU
Olivia snorted, shaking her head. "El, you are the most stubborn..."
"Son of a bitch?" he offered with a laugh, barely missing a swift smack to the head.
"You need to learn when to shut up."
He laughed again as they drove into the tunnel. "Yeah, but you love me anyway." He reached down and grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly.
She rolled her eyes. "I just let you think that, Stabler." But of course she loved him. She just wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. The man had a big enough ego as it was, and she wasn't going to add to it.
"Right, Liv." His blue eyes danced with mirth at his partner's obvious annoyance. "You just let me think everything."
"Exactly."
He laced his fingers through hers and squeezed, still laughing.
Up ahead of them, someone's tire suddenly blew out, causing them to swerve unexpectedly.
Elliot saw it first, and he gasped, grabbing at the steering wheel. But it was a useless attempt. Their Sedan hit the car in front of them head on, sending Elliot's head slamming into the steering wheel.
Lights flashed around them, and the unmistakable sounds of shattering glass and people screaming was all around them.
But in their car, there was only silence.
Every now and then
Soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again
And it's like you haven't been
Gone a moment from my side
Like the tears were never cried
Like the hands of time are holding
You and me
When Elliot was finally able to open his eyes, he groaned softly. He could feel the blood running down his forehead, but oddly enough, it didn't hurt. Though it probably would later. He coughed. "Liv?"
There was no response from her, and he turned his head. "Livia?"
She was unconscious, with her head lolled to the side.
Fumbling with his seatbelt, he finally managed to free himself, and he reached out to her. "Liv, wake up," he pleaded softly, coughing again. He had to wake her up, in case she had a head injury. He managed to unbuckle her seatbelt to help with her breathing. "Come on, Olivia. Open your eyes."
She didn't respond to his gentle touch or voice, and panic gripped him. "Liv, please wake up," he pleaded.
When she still didn't respond, he grabbed the door handle and pushed it open. As he stepped out, the world around him spun and dipped, and he waited a moment for the nausea to subside. Once he could move again, he stumbled around the back of the car and to Olivia's door.
He must have lost consciousness for a while, because behind him ambulances were parked and the medics were tending to the more serious injuries. Fumbling with the handle of her door, he finally yanked it open. She didn't move as he leaned in and ran his hand over her bloody, matted hair.
Ahead he heard a woman scream in grief, and he tried to block it out. The cop in him told him that he needed to stop and help civilians, that Olivia would be fine. But he couldn't leave her. It wasn't the first time he had chosen her over lives of civilians, and something told him it wouldn't be the last. He ran his hand over the side of her face, checking for more injuries.
After realizing that her neck wasn't broken, he slipped one arm behind her, then slid the other beneath her legs. Ignoring his own aching body, he carefully lifted her against his chest, cradling her close. Then he inched backward, carefully sinking to the ground with her still protectively cuddled in his arms.
All around them lights flashed, people cried, and the smell of burning rubber and flesh hung heavily in the air.
He cradled her close, gently smoothing her dark hair back away from her face. "Come on, Liv," he whispered. "Open your eyes, honey. Please."
And with all my heart, I'm sure
We're closer than we ever were
I don't have to hear or see
I've got all the proof I need
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, oh, I believe
As he held her and rocked back and forth, he was transported back to another time, another place. He was watching as that son of a bitch Gitano dragged a knife across her throat, and he couldn't move fast enough as he watched her hit the floor.
He had a choice to make right then, and it would forever change everything. As a cop, he was duty bound to chase after Gitano and save that boy. But as a man in love, he had to get to her. He had made his decision, and he would live the rest of his life with the consequences of his choice.
He had held her in his arms then, just as he was holding her now. Only last time, she had been aware and coherent enough to tell him to let her go and save that innocent little boy. But by the time he had let go of her and gone after Gitano, it was too late. The little boy was on the floor, laying in a pool of his own blood. Dead. And when Olivia approached him, he had shoved her away, when all he really wanted to do was grab her and never let her go. But of course he hadn't done that. If he had...
He opened his eyes and studied her pale face, swallowing hard as he stroked her hair. His chest was constricting, squeezing the air out of him. He needed her to open her eyes and look at him, to talk to him and show him that she was going to be okay. That his world wasn't falling apart.
His mind went back to the night he finally told her how he felt. He had thought very seriously about going home to Kathy, but then he reminded himself of the hell she had put him through the last two years. Then he thought about the one person who had stood by him for years, who had been there for him day or night. She never complained when he dragged her out of a warm bed to vent about something Kathy had done, and she took everything that he threw at her. And before he knew it, he was at her apartment door.
He had fantasized about her for years, but never acted on it. And he always promised himself that if they did wind up together, their first time would be amazing. He would make up for all the times he had hurt her, and he would show her what was to come. He would take her in his arms and kiss her softly as his fingers tentatively explored that tan, glowing skin. He would drop his guard, as he only did with her, and completely let her in. He had never even done that with Kathy. He would bare his soul to her, and pray to God that she didn't turn him away. Though he wouldn't have faulted her for that. He didn't deserve her, but he had planned to show her just how amazing he would make the rest of his life for her.
What had actually happened was far from that.
When she had opened the door wearing pajama bottoms and a spaghetti strapped top, all thoughts of flowery speeches and whispered promises flew out of his mind. He had taken her into his arms, using one arm to cuddle her to him and the other to shove the door shut behind him. Then he kissed her, hard. She had made this soft, sweet noise. The epitome of femininity. His hard ass, tough as nails partner melted into him, and he barely remembered ripping the clothes off of her as she tried to drag him toward the bedroom. Instead they fell onto the carpet, with him landing on top of her naked, exposed body. The next few hours were blurred and far from what he had planned for the first time they were together.
When he came back to his senses, she was sleeping in his arms, and he cursed himself. His hand moved slowly over her bare hip, memorizing the gentle curve as she pressed herself closer into him in her sleep. He should have been able to control himself and made this amazing for her. But that was what she did to him. She made him lose control.
And he loved her.
That when you die, your life goes on
It doesn't end here when you're gone
Every soul is filled with light
It never ends, if I'm right
Our love can even reach across eternity
I believe, oh, I believe
Her breathing changed, drawing him out of the depths of his tormented mind. "Olivia?" He ran his rough hand over her hair, praying that she was waking up. "Come on, baby. Open your eyes."
Her eyes remained closed, and a single tear rolled down his cheek.
If he had just been less stubborn, he could have been holding her a long time ago. But his faith and pride had refused to let him give up on the ghost that was a marriage. If he had just opened up, if he had just done something...
She was always there for him. She deserved so much more than he could ever give her, yet she was happy to take whatever he could give. The weekend after the first time they were together, he officially moved into her apartment with her. He had argued with her for days, pointing out that he could easily stay in a hotel until he found his own place. But she wouldn't listen, and he was thrilled. It wasn't like the first time, when he had moved in with Kathy and married her because of two pink lines. He had known Olivia for over ten years, and he had been ready for years to start a life with her. So he had finally conceded and packed his things in the house he had once shared with Kathy and his children. The whole time she had screamed at him accusations of infidelity and never paying attention to her. As fast as he could he packed his things, then kissed each of his babies and promised that he would see them again soon. Olivia had already made it very clear that his children were welcomed at her place anytime, and she made good on that. She was so different from Kathy, in some ways he couldn't even define.
He leaned over and kissed her forehead, then studied her softened face. "Liv, I can't lose you," he whispered, his voice clogged by unshed tears.
Forever you're a part of me
Forever in the heart of me
I will hold you even longer
If I can
His grip tightened on her as he cradled her head tenderly to his shoulder. This way he could feel her chest moving against his. As long as he could feel her breathing, he would be okay. He kissed her hair, sniffling quietly.
The only times he had ever openly cried were at the births of each of his children, once in front of Olivet, and when he thought he was going to lose Olivia. And even then, he had done it in the confines of darkness, and away from prying eyes. Another tear fell.
It had always been shoved into his head that to cry was to be weak, and men weren't weak. Men were towers of strength and stability, not babies. Especially Stabler men. Anger was an acceptable emotion to show, and little else. But his father was not the greatest of role models, and sometimes he wondered how different his life might have been had he had another man raising him.
He kissed her head again. "God, Liv, just open your eyes. Please." He ran his palm over her cheek, shuddering at the warm, sticky substance that covered the side of her face.
Oh, the people who don't see the most
See that I believe in ghosts
And if that makes me crazy
Then I am
Cause I believe
Oh, I believe
"Elliot..."
The word was so soft, so weak, that he almost didn't hear it. He held his breath and watched her intently. Her long eyelashes fluttered, finally revealing the chocolate orbs that he had fallen in love with so long ago. "Olivia..."
She grasped the material of his shirt, groaning softly in pain. "What... happened...?" she whispered.
He smiled tearfully and pulled her closer, burying his hand in her hair. "It was an accident, sweetheart. But we're okay." It didn't even matter now if he died, just as long as Olivia walked away from all of this. That was all that mattered. His fingertips gently stroked her scalp, careful to avoid the damp edges of a nasty gash on her scalp.
She coughed weakly, closing her eyes. "You okay...?"
Of course she would be worried about him... "I'm fine, Liv. Don't worry about me," he soothed, slowly rocking her back and forth. He didn't want her to waste any energy worrying about him. She needed all of her strength to heal and come home with him.
Her fingers tightened on his shirt as she forced her eyes open and studied his drawn and worried face. "Blood..." She coughed again, reaching up to touch his temple lightly.
He turned his head slightly and kissed the tips of her slender fingers. Then he raised the hand he wasn't using to hold her and closed it around her hand, squeezing gently. "I'm okay, baby." He kissed her palm, and a tear rolled down his cheek, mixing with the dried blood.
She frowned and pulled her hand away, wiping the tear away with her thumb.
He kissed her hand again and took it back into his own. "I promise," he soothed. "I'm fine." Though he couldn't say the same for the poor soul he watched being covered with a white sheet a few yards deeper into the tunnel. His grip tightened on his injured partner. It wasn't her. It wasn't her...
She groaned quietly, pressing herself closer to him. She could barely keep her eyes open, but she knew she needed to, in case she had a concussion. She licked her dry lips. "It hurts, El..." Her voice was soft and vulnerable, and she was unable to conceal the growing pain and fear.
He nodded immediately. "I know, sweetheart. It won't be much longer." He jerked his head up and looked around. "There's a lot of people hurt worse." He heard the demanding cry of an infant, and he prayed to God above that a parent hadn't been taken from them. "They'll get to us soon," he promised.
She nodded, holding onto him tighter. She trusted him, and if he wasn't screaming for a paramedic, she wasn't dying. She almost laughed. It was funny just how protective he could be of her, just how loyal and loving. She reached up and traced her finger lightly over his cheek.
He kissed her palm, then leaned into her hand.
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, oh, I believe
Finally two paramedics reached them, but Elliot was incredibly reluctant to let them separate the two of them. She needed him to keep her safe, and though he refused to admit it, he needed her to keep him safe, too.
They finally managed to pull Olivia away just enough to assess her injuries. She heard something about minor lacerations and a concussion, but she was going to be okay. She let her head fall back on Elliot's shoulder, where she was safe.
He kissed her head and nodded as the medics urged him to his feet. His entire body protested, but he managed to stand with Olivia cradled in his arms. The medics led him out of a tunnel, to one of the ambulances standing ready with the engine going.
As one medic gently pried Olivia out of Elliot's arms and laid her on her back, he glanced up at the night sky.
He had once thought he'd lost his faith, but after tonight... He quickly climbed into the back of the rig and sat down close to Olivia's head, not even bothering to fight the medic who decided to check him over.
Maybe he hadn't strayed as far as he thought. There was a reason Olivia was still right there with him. Someone had to be watching out for the both of them.
He grabbed Olivia's hand and brought it up to his mouth, kissing her knuckles and smiling when she looked up at him and squeezed his hand.
He believed.
Every now and then
Soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again
And I believe
The End
A/N: There ya go, guys! It turned out a little longer than I planned, but I'm pretty proud of it. The video is more of a ghost story, so I omitted the part where the ghost/angel appears and saves the wife. It's beautiful, but not exactly what I wanted. Thanks again for reading, everyone! Please review and let me know what you guys thought!